Was she trying to pay me back?

[Thatnakedshowisweird]

It was DD’s first proper birthday party last week. DD’s main toddler friend and his mum are probably our closest mummy type friends and the ones we wanted to be there the most. All been planned for ages, very excited.
On the night before the party I text friend asking if she has a lighter for the candles, it’s one thing we forgot and no time in the morning, she said she’d bring but had a covid test at the time of the party but would be quick. Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️
The next morning (day of the party) she texts really early asking if she should drop it to my house as she didn’t know how long the appointment would be and if positive she didn’t want to come and infect everyone. By now, it just sounded a bit bullshitty, I know her and it’s just the way it was written. I asked if her partner wanted to bring her ds and she could pop by later, all of a sudden she says Ds has really bad diareah and just that moment was sick everywhere. Texts 10 minutes later apologising and saying he won’t be coming,
The thing is, I know it was a lie, it was just so detailed and odd and I just know.
Felt really sad they couldn’t come.
She didn’t get Dd a present or message since, aside from to comment on my Fb photos of the party, but nothing private.
Just seen on her Fb story, her and a friend out at a bar, dancing with the kids 🤷🏻‍♀️This is two days later.
Am I being too sensitive to feel sad and confused about this.
Was recently her Ds birthday, I was really sick, and genuinely couldn’t go anywhere, so dp took Dd to the party and took presents etc.
Dd was sad he didn’t show as he’s literally her closest pal.
Would you be upset, would you make a bit of distance? Still don’t know why she wouldn’t come

Yip... She's totally getting you back.. she's a prick

distance yourselves.. find new friends 🌸

Happy Birthday to your Daughter 🎂🥳🎉

Yes of course that would make me sad.

You can be a little petty and mention what you saw on FB with a it’s good to see DS is feeling better.

But I would distance myself, she doesn’t sound like she’s your friend.

@QueenBee52 Do you really think so? She apologised and said to please not be upset.
I was genuinely ill, but still Dp too Dd, because it was about the kids, and they took presents

I don't know anyone that would do this. But then I would just believe she was sick and move on.

Just do what you feel is right for you.

[quote Thatnakedshowisweird]@QueenBee52 Do you really think so? She apologised and said to please not be upset.
I was genuinely ill, but still Dp too Dd, because it was about the kids, and they took presents[/quote]

What does you gut instinct tell you..

trust your gut ... always 🌸

@Nuffsaidsam Normally I would, but from the moment she said about the covid test, I just knew it was a lie and that excuses were coming. Just felt sad really

You're sick you can't go to her party.

She's sick and can't go to your party.

Hmm.... What a coincidence, no?

Go with your gut feeling. If she is being petty then she's not a friend.

@QueenBee52 Petty thing to do though 🤷🏻‍♀️It’s either that or we’re not as close as I thought and she couldn’t be bothered to come

@zeddybrek Well she said she was going for a covid test as someone she knew had it and she just wanted to be sure for the party, then it all became about her Ds all of a sudden being really sick. Then today they’re up dancing and drinking

@TomForddr I really felt like doing that, but then thought how sad I’d look and to rise above if really

[quote Thatnakedshowisweird]@QueenBee52 Petty thing to do though 🤷🏻‍♀️It’s either that or we’re not as close as I thought and she couldn’t be bothered to come[/quote]

yes... she's shown her true colours.. it sounds, almost as though, she didn't believe you were unwell for her DS's party 🤔

To not even drop a present off though..
Sad as is about the kids, not us. My Dd still went, Dp didn’t really want to go but did for her sons sake

It could well be a number of things,sine she was ill, maybe she didn’t have enough money to buy a present, maybe there are family issues.. you just don’t know.

All you can do is take it at face value and decide if you want to continue on with the friendship and at what level of relationship you want.

@QueenBee52 She probably didn’t, but she knows I’ve suffered on and off with the effects of long covid since last March. Told her lots before.

I would’ve loved to be there, instead I was lay on the sofa on a lovely sunny day, whilst most of my friends were there enjoying it and having a drink.

My child used to have a friend like this. Once I was actually reversing out of the drive on my way to meet them at the zoo and she rang with some made up story and cancelled and that was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

I stopped arranging things with her and if she suggested doing anything I would lead it in the direction of us doing something without the children.

@Freddiefox She wasn’t ill though, she said Ds was, that morning two hours before the party. This happens, with kids it’s always unreliable, just the odd build up to it and the mixing in with going for a covid test first..it was obviously negative then! Plus he got over the proper vomiting and diareah (sp) very quickly. She said she’d hate him to pass it on to the other kids..yet two days later is up dancing with another friend

@QuillBill It was sad because she was the last one I expected to back out. I even joked to her that I hoped she was coming as they were the ones we wanted to see the most.
Just sad that so many made such an effort who we barely know as well as we do them.
Didn’t expect it to hurt, but it did 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only you know what's she's normally like, but there's nothing suspect with a kid having diarrhoea and going out two days later!

[quote Thatnakedshowisweird]@Freddiefox She wasn’t ill though, she said Ds was, that morning two hours before the party. This happens, with kids it’s always unreliable, just the odd build up to it and the mixing in with going for a covid test first..it was obviously negative then! Plus he got over the proper vomiting and diareah (sp) very quickly. She said she’d hate him to pass it on to the other kids..yet two days later is up dancing with another friend[/quote]
So if you think she’s lying, rather than ill or her ds ill. Why? All I’m trying to say is you never really know what’s going on for people.

Does she feel awkward around people she isn't familiar with? It seems like she intended to go but backed out possibly from anxiety.
I wouldn't take it personally although I'd give a small gift others may not.

@EmeraldShamrock No, definitely not, she’s very sociable.

@myfuckingfreezer No, there’s def not, but just the way she was, the build up to it and the other parts, I could just tell

@Freddiefox That’s what I don’t understand, why? To me it’s either that I’ve been way off and we’re not that close and it just wasn’t that important to her. Or because I didn’t come to hers..she was off with me after it

[quote Thatnakedshowisweird]@Freddiefox That’s what I don’t understand, why? To me it’s either that I’ve been way off and we’re not that close and it just wasn’t that important to her. Or because I didn’t come to hers..she was off with me after it[/quote]
But that’s the point, you don’t know what’s going on for her. You can think badly of her, that she was getting you back for not coming to her da party, or you can tack it at face value that for what ever reason she couldn’t make it.
But there are more than 2 options.