Replace neighbour flowers after ball over fence?

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My neighbours new flowers got crushed by my sons football which went over the back fence while he was playing in the back garden. I know she will have to take some out and replace now.

Should I be offering to replace them, or perhaps let my son take round a new planter with an apology about the ball going over?

We tell him to be careful with it but it accidentally goes over probably once per week.

www.amazon.co.uk/Plastic-Football-Lightweight-suitable-Birthday/dp/B08B3HMXWW/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&psc=1&keywords=lightweight+football&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzT0JSNlNZWEJQNDVKJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUExMDM1MzI2M0VJWE9XNE41MVBBQiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwODY5NjUwNEJCQjROR1ozNVQzJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1625926717&sr=8-2-spons

@furstivetreats unless you live in a house with no immediate neighbours for a mile there's going to be irritations from neighbours. Be it footballs, doorbell ringing, and all the rest of it.

Let the neighbours know you work early shifts and not to ring the doorbell again at that hour and they won't.

I think most people are irritated by their neighbours at some point myself included. But for some reason on MN just the word 'football' sends people into a rage.
I don't know what would happen if someone got a rugby ball over the fence.

Or decathalon do very light weight balls

@thisplaceisweird

Once a week??? Blimey I would not be happy about that

One ball. Once a week?

This is one of those threads where people have just posted if they agree with the first few replies I think.
I'm bucking the trend.

Presuming that the lad was playing with a suitable ball for the garden, then it won't have permanently ruined any flowers. It is completely over the top to go replacing things. he hasn't broken a window!

Get a goal net. I despair on mn sometimes. Poor kid. Football is all over the tv atm loads of kids are playing football. Just try to teach him skills to keep in it the garden. No biggie. I think living in close proximity to kids you expect a certain amount of accidental interactions which you are aware of now. Banning him altogether is mean.

I agree with this.

Everywhere I've lived, both growing up and as an adult, you expect balls to come over the fence now and then, and you just check them back over when you are in the garden and notice them. No-one has ever suggested replacing a flower - they really aren't that delicate. I would be mortified if a neighbour started putting money through the door or buying me garden centre vouchers because their dc's ball came over the fence occasionally. Madness.

Great stuff, OP.
You've made the right decision.

Christ alive. So we’re now banning football from gardens as well as barbecues, fire pits, any type of music, hot tubs, trampolines, shrieking, cats, mowing at any time other than 5pm… anything else?

Can I just check if there’s anything I’m actually allowed to do in my garden other than sit motionless and look at it?

Here’s the thing. If a ball goes into your garden, pick it up and throw it back. That’s, what, three seconds of inconvenience?

I have no idea how many people her function in normal society alongside other people who do not stick to their rigid rules.

@JaniceBattersby

Christ alive. So we’re now banning football from gardens as well as barbecues, fire pits, any type of music, hot tubs, trampolines, shrieking, cats, mowing at any time other than 5pm… anything else?

Can I just check if there’s anything I’m actually allowed to do in my garden other than sit motionless and look at it?

Here’s the thing. If a ball goes into your garden, pick it up and throw it back. That’s, what, three seconds of inconvenience?

I have no idea how many people her function in normal society alongside other people who do not stick to their rigid rules.

I get what you're saying and it can be difficult to not irritate neighbours when trying to enjoy your own garden space with things like BBQs or fire pits... we have both.

In this particular case when I heard the neighbour she said something along the lines of ..... I can't believe it I'm going to have to pull it all out and start again, I could cry ....

I did say that I'm not a garden person, but I had been trying to grow some tomatoes and sunflowers which have been destroyed by the ball in our garden, so I can appreciate where my neighbour is coming from. We've always had a good relationship and I don't want to upset her.

Yes replace them and put tall netting up above the fence - once a week is too often if there are delicate flowers. We have a ball come over a similar amount of times but don't mind as it's at the end where we have woodland. If it was our cottage border or veg patch id be annoyed.

Good call on the note and insert.

If your layout is conducive, some netting is probably the most effective and simplest solution for all manner of childhood sports.

If it goes over once a week it is unacceptable either get a higher fence or send him to the field.

If its damaging plants every week I'd be livid.
Some people love their gardens and take pride in growing plants. Once or twice is enough more thanthat, as in weekly, is ridiculous.
OP welldone I'm sure your neighbour will be really grateful for your thoughtful gift

this particular case when I heard the neighbour she said something along the lines of ..... I can't believe it I'm going to have to pull it all out and start again, I could cry..
That's terrible. You should have put netting up long ago. My flowers were destroyed too DS friend kicking the ball into them various times after ignoring many warnings , half had to be removed.
My DC wouldn't bounce a ball off them some kids are destructive and entitled.

Offer it with his pocket money.

Here’s the thing. If a ball goes into your garden, pick it up and throw it back. That’s, what, three seconds of inconvenience?

You’re obviously not a gardener. It’s heartbreaking seeing expensive plants you’ve lavished with love destroyed. Fortunately OP’s a much better neighbour than you and has done exactly the right thing.

@Blossomtoes. I agree with this. My mother-in -law had several plants broken last summer due to a heavy leather football coming into her garden on a regular basis. Apart from the cost of the plants , she was very upset because gardening is her hobby and she puts a lot of time and effort into it .

I have absolutely no problem throw out neighbours balls back, several times a week.

But his balls aren't breaking pots and flattening long nurtured plants....different matter altogether.

Teenage lad next door has recently been given a basket ball hoop on a flimsy pole with a flimsy backboard. It makes a hell of a racket but I don’t mind because he’s a lonely boy and I don’t begrudge him a bit of enjoyment.

It’s playing bloody hell with our garden though. I’m throwing back 2 or 3 balls a day and my shrubs and young trees are getting a real battering. I’ve said to DH that we should ask if they could just move the hoop a bit but he says it’s only plants they’ll grow back (he’s not a gardener).

I’d be delighted if neighbour would cough up a few Garden Centre vouchers as recompense 😃

Here’s the thing. If a ball goes into your garden, pick it up and throw it back. That’s, what, three seconds of inconvenience?
If it is damaging property it isn't a 3 second inconvenience.
I like DC and neighbours just don't damage my things, do what you like in your own garden, simple.

If you neighbour has to take into account balls coming into her garden when she is deciding what to plant that is annoying. I have an area of the garden that balls always land in. No point having trellis as that would be destroyed given the damage done to the solid fence. It had to become where all the bins get stored and where the compost heap is to save constantly replacing plants.

I share my garden (which is 10yrs of my hard graftl with a football mad 13 y.o DS. It's heartbreaking seeing plants smashed to pieces by the football. We've put nets up between us and a neighbour who loves his garden as much as me. I minimise damage using a massive goal and a rebounder. The rebounder net has been the best £80 I've spent.

Yup. One ball, once a week is frequent.

Yes that's far too often. Once every couple of months is annoying but not too intrusive.. once a week is ridiculous. I wouldn't want to be returning someone's property that landed in my garden as a routine, that's more than I vacuum!

I vacuum daily.

I have 3 kids, one of mine was a footballer, and really needed to kick his ball round after school etc.

We are fortunate in that it never went over the fence.

I really wouldn't mind footballs coming over.
But I am also a gardener, and some plants recover from a football hit, and other relaly don't and I would be pretty frustrated if some of my nicer plants got smashed.

So it is a fine line.

BUT you know the nets that go round trampolines?
You can put them on long poles and basically raise your fence by a couple of metres. if you do that on the stretch where the ball goes over, then your son can continue to play. That and get a goal net so he is doing goal practice not just kicking.

Kids need to be physical. But she has a right to not get her plants smashed too.