To not want this in my children report to new school

[newname9583]

Name change as could get flamed
DD is going start school in September and I have been sent a report that we have to sign that will go on to school. The majority of it seems fine.
However one section mentions that she needs to regulate her emotions better, understand other children's feeling in situations and understand boundaries. This has come a bit of a surprise to me. Nothing has ever been mentioned in the two years she has been there. At home this is not like her and she has always played well with other children in front of me. In fact other family/friends have mentioned how she plays well with other children and is kind and sharing. I don't want to sound like that parent and I'm not even questioning them as to say they are lying. I just wish if they felt this was the case enough to put it in her report they would have also spoke to me about it.
I haven't spoke to the nursery yet but at the moment I do not feel like signing the report. I feel like this will create an impression of DD before she has even started school. AIBU?

Yes, yabu. This isn't surprising for the age, and it's useful for schools to know areas of improvement as well.

But why did they never mention it? So I could at least try and work on it with her.

I suspect this is from EYFS and not a negative comment as such but a ‘next step’. My nursery age child’s report is glowing and makes a big thing about how well they get on with their group of friends, and the next step sounds really similar to what’s in your child’s report.

They didn't mention it because it's within the parameters of 'normal' for her age group and they were responding to it appropriately.

If that's how she presents at school, the new school needs to know.

If it’s true then it needs to stay in there. How can the new school help her make progress in these areas if they don’t even know about it??

It’s pretty standard stuff and within the boundaries of normal behaviour
They haven’t mentioned it because it’s normal behaviour
Just let it go

A report always gives targets for improvement. This is completely normal.

I agree it should have been mentioned to you. Everything mentioned in those reports should already be familiar to parents.

As others have said it’s just wording on the EYFS framework. It doesn’t mean anything negative, it’s a signpost to the new setting of where she is in terms of that framework.

YABU OP, really. Her new school will not bat an eyelid at a 4yr old who sometimes misjudges social situations, it really won't reflect poorly on her.

I always think there should be no surprises in reports . If it is something that needs to be flagged at the next school I would think that you should be aware about it by now. So I can see why you are a bit miffed !

I suspect this is from EYFS and not a negative comment as such but a ‘next step’. I would guess at this too. Next steps often read that way even in reception.

But also - one of my children had comments of things he needed to develop that he could do perfectly well, just hasn't been spotted at nursery. I just ignored it, nursery is busy, some of the staff were very young and maybe not great at this element and i'd rather they weren't spending excessive amounts of time assessing the children.

It will definitely create an impression at school if you refuse to sign it, but about you not your daughter…

@PotteringAlong I said at the moment I don't feel like signing it not that I won't. I have the right to discuss it.

I might be wrong but even if you refused to sign it, surely staff will mention your child's behaviour during transition meetings with the school?
The system is in place to help your child going forward into a school setting.

Of course UBU I bet half the reports say that…

I'm not trying to hide anything from the school. If my DD has areas of improvement that are needed that's fine and I'm glad they are identified. I'm questioning why I have never once been told about them.

Use your common sense for goodness sake, speak to the nursery

The more information they can give the new school the better so they can support her as best as they can.
I’d say what they’ve put is quite common in younger children.

It’s also not a massive issue if you’ve not been told about it and the new school will be aware of this too.

I'd probably ask for some clarification and examples. I find with reports it's all fairly generic and I always wish they included examples so I could spot the situations they are referring to at home a bit better and work on them

It’s also not an area for improvement but more one of development

@Demelza82

Use your common sense for goodness sake, speak to the nursery

I've only just seen the report and wanted peoples perspective on it first. Thank you very much.

I agree with others that is possible these haven't been mentioned before as they aren't considered particularly problematic behaviours, she falls within the normal range of what is expected for her age. Her reception teacher will get to know her quickly and form her own opinions OP, I really wouldn't worry.

I would say that if a child is not meeting a target for their age, you should already be aware and looking to support before it gets to report stage. I would be irritated too.

Are you angry that the nursery comms have fallen short or that they feel your child hasn't met a target? Ultimately, I wouldn't worry about this comment going to the school. Sign or don't, it's not a big deal. School will spot an issue like this in ten seconds if it's there.