To think being an adult is crap?

[Requestingatimemachine]

Just that…
All the bills, commitments, responsibilities, cleaning, making dinner, deciding what to have for dinner..and so it goes 😩
Maybe it’s since I had a child, I can’t remember feeling like this before, I used fo feel so free, without all this ‘Stuff’

Anyone else feel the same?

Absolutely. I have two and no support. I have no life.

@requestingatimemachine I've 3, who I love than life itself and that to me is part of the problem with parenting. You never stop worrying, the idea that anything bad could happen to your own flesh and blood is the worst idea ever, so although I don't walk around expecting room and gloom all the time, that fear is ever present in the back of your mind. Their worries/problems/fears etc, become yours and are magnified. Life is very different indeed, and very complicated once you become an adult and especially a parent.

@Taliskerskye

All these men who work 12 hours a day!!

Sorry love. Being an adult is fine. Being stuck with a dick isn’t
If he’s genuinely working 12 hours a day, his job must be well paid. Get a cleaner.

Why is that unusual to you?

Including my commute, I leave the house around 7am. Get to work for 8:30am. Long commute. Work until about 5-6pm. Get home at 6:30-7:30pm. There's your 12 hours.

Where are all these people that work a few hours a day right next to their place of work. I don't know any.

Doctor and nurse friends do 12+ hour shifts.

Plenty of jobs involving 12 hours shifts that are poorly paid too. Gosh people have no idea.

I think having two adult kids at home, who do stuff when asked, actually mean more work. The stuff they leave about plus more cooking, laundry etc that goes with it. And neither drive, yet, so the endless lifts. We are in the middle of redecorating and have had our bathroom recently replaced. I feel like I work four days of paid and three unpaid. I also think that Covid has taught me that there is nothing fun to do so I have got into this awful habit of not taking time out.

I don’t include travelling as “working” 12 hours a day. I travel therefore have 12 hours out of the house.
I still do housework and cook and clear up.

Also 12 hour shifts tend not to be everyday.

Op get a cleaner. Life shouldn’t be this gruelling. Mostly it isn’t and people share the shit bits if they have a partner.

If you’re SAHM, you shouldn’t be doing every single thing.

I do include travel as part of the working day.

Or you think standing up on a train with no seat is easy?

If the working day can't be done with out it then it is part of it.

I hear you! Tbh I think being a child was like another life.i was happy as a child and well cared for l think as an adult you don't realise how much responsibility your parents had until too late! Working , cleaning and so on !

It's having kids.

I can spend my entire weekends doing what I fancy. Playing computer games, watching Netflix, going out.

Food is no chore as there is Deliveroo if bored. I have a cleaner. Bills all on direct debits so no chore to "pay them"

I can paint my flat whatever colour I want (silver) though subject to re-same issues of course.

I'm not sure it is having children that makes it feel like a drudge (for me anyway)...I think its what work you do, I was much more stressed/tired as a 25 year old with plenty of disposable income doing shifts in a bitchy environment than I am as a 33 year old mum of 2, with a lot less disposable income but a calm part time office job with nice bosses/colleagues.

It gets easier as they get a bit older. Mine are 13 and 15 and tbh it's been many years since they felt like a source of drudgery! The housework is a boring, never-ending grind, sure. They add to the amount of laundry etc, but they don't add any actual tasks that I wouldn't have to do anyway. Plus once dc are a bit older they can help out! Also, why does having dc mean you can't have takeaways?

I very much understand what you’re saying here and feel the same, my 12 year old treats the house like a hotel just eats everything out of the fridge and makes a mess around the house. The bonding hormones have definitely worn off 😭

@burnoutbabe

It's having kids.

I can spend my entire weekends doing what I fancy. Playing computer games, watching Netflix, going out.

Food is no chore as there is Deliveroo if bored. I have a cleaner. Bills all on direct debits so no chore to "pay them"

I can paint my flat whatever colour I want (silver) though subject to re-same issues of course.

Exactly that. I'm single and childless and my biggest problem at this very moment is what should I watch on Netflix this morning. Absolutely love being an adult.

I know what you mean. I never felt like that either and I coped ok until ds was at school. It was school run that tipped me over. We are a long way from the school and the thought of getting ds up early, fed and dressed, with all the arguments that involves for years and years feels relentless. He is not a morning person
It starts most days off badly.

I disagree, I hated being a kid! All of these unreasonable adults in charge of everything you do.

Now I get to drive, drink, have sex, go where I want and do what I want (within reason). Plus I still get to do some of the fun kid stuff with my DD. I would hate to go back