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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel like a rubbish mum

28 replies

Lie98 · 09/07/2021 15:45

DS2 fell whilst riding his bike. He hit his chin on the stairs and there was blood everywhere. He got 3 stitches :( I feel like a rubbish mum, this is the first time something like this has happened. I should have done something about the edge of the stairs. Our stair case is a bit odd so we have the baby gate on the 3rd step.

On a side note has anyone got stitches on their babies, I am at a loss he keeps wanting to touch and pull the dressing :(

I just feel rubbish all over. I had to hold him down while he was kicking and screaming while he was getting stitched. Got home, gave him lots of cuddles and now his having his nap.

OP posts:

LemonRoses · 09/07/2021 15:49

He was riding his bicycle on the stairs?

toastantea · 09/07/2021 15:51

Kids fall all the time, it doesn't have any bearing on you as a parent. It's a very normal part of their development and just unfortunate yours landed badly.

Original poster

Lie98 · 09/07/2021 16:03

he was riding his balance bike alone corridor fell and hit his chin on the edge of stairs.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lie98 · 09/07/2021 16:04

@toastantea

Kids fall all the time, it doesn't have any bearing on you as a parent. It's a very normal part of their development and just unfortunate yours landed badly.

I think its the shock of the first time he is hurting himself. Such a scary experience

OP posts:

Zzzzzzxxx · 09/07/2021 16:04

Everyone’s kids fall over abs injure them selves. My son fell down the stairs at 18 months I felt awful. But everyone will have a simler story. Don’t be so hard on yourself x

AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 16:09

Sounds horrible, OP, but it wasn't your fault. Accidents happen sometimes. You sound like a lovely, caring, responsible parent so please don't beat yourself up about it.

Hope your ds is OK.

mommybear1 · 09/07/2021 16:09

Your are not a rubbish Mom you got him to hospital and treated and he's back home with you now. It feels shit but honestly you will remember this he won't.

riseandshine2021 · 09/07/2021 16:16

Why was he riding near the stairs? Surely you'd know that's dangerous? Your not a bad mum but common sense...

LemonRoses · 09/07/2021 16:20

Ah, no doesn't make you a bad parent. Our youngest has a scar alongside her eye where she fell against a glass-topped coffee table at Centre Parcs when she was playing with her brother. She has managed to grow up just fine, despite having us as parents.

AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 16:21

@riseandshine2021

Why was he riding near the stairs?

Surely you'd know that's dangerous? Your not a bad mum but common sense...

Not helpful... the OP is already feeling bad enough. And hindsight is a wonderful thing.

We all do the very best we can to keep our dc safe, but occasionally, we fail to spot hazards or can't get to them quickly enough to stop accidents from happening. There is no point in making the OP feel shit about it now. It could have happened to anyone.

suspiria777 · 09/07/2021 16:22

i think no riding bikes indoors is a good rule going forwards...

octoberfarm · 09/07/2021 16:28

@riseandshine2021

Why was he riding near the stairs?

Surely you'd know that's dangerous? Your not a bad mum but common sense...

This feels super unhelpful to a Mum who's already feeling awful. Accidents happen, and OP I promise there isn't a child in the land who hasn't tripped and hit something at some point or other. My kids both have and I still feel a bit sick when I think about it. But it was an accident, and he's okay, that's what matters. Go easy on yourself - you're doing great

Wrotten · 09/07/2021 16:29

My son has bitten through his lip twice.

He does not understand the concept of using his hands to break his fall at all!

These things happen.

pegboardsu · 09/07/2021 17:13

A rubbish mum wouldn't feel like a rubbish mum.

Accidents happen, we can all relate to the shock that you have described.

Dreamsofthebeach · 09/07/2021 17:23

I read it as the child hit one of the two bottom stairs. Doesn't sound like it was a dangerous situation, just unlucky. Could have been a doorframe etc. I don't think a two year old cycling indoors is dangerous. I personally think the bigger challenge is not being too restrictive after they have had an accident.

OP holding him down for stitches sounds awful for you both. No wonder you are feeling rotten. None of this makes you a bad mum.

Doona · 09/07/2021 17:31

You probably avoided 1000 accidents before this, but they need to explore and learn. You are clearly not a bad mum.

MathsyUsernameGoesHere · 09/07/2021 19:42

@suspiria777

i think no riding bikes indoors is a good rule going forwards...

If he was on his bike outside he could've hit the wall, doorstep, kerb, patio furniture, part equipment, not to mention scraping on the ground. Kids fall, sometimes they hit something on the way down or land awkwardly and end up with more than bumps and bruises. It can't all be prevented.

OP just got unlucky today. My eldest had a brief phase of being so clumsy one of the girls in nursery would put a helmet on her just for running about.

Cam2020 · 09/07/2021 20:00

As parents, we try to forsee danger and avoid it and all costs. Children learn through their mistakes and misadventure though. These things happen, it wasn't anything life threatening - don't beat yourself up.

DroopyClematis · 09/07/2021 20:04

I agree with @pegboardsu
"A rubbish mum wouldn't feel like a rubbish mum."

Accidents happen.

scrivette · 09/07/2021 20:04

You can't be a rubbish Mum as you are feeling bad, even though you don't need to be. It was an accident and they happen to most of us.

DS1&2 both fell off the sofa and needed their heads butterfly stitched together, 4 years apart at very similar ages.

Original poster

Lie98 · 10/07/2021 07:14

Thank you everyone! I do feel a little better.

The first two steps from bottom floor have no walls so the baby gate is attached to 3rd step. DS wasn't riding his bike on the steps, he was riding his bike along the corridor fell and hit the first step :( My house is as toddler proofed as it can be but our luck ended up with him falling on step.

He is being so brave even though he hates the dressing and is pulling at it. This is the first time he has had a (serious) accident and it has made me feel down all night yesterday.

OP posts:

StrangeToSee · 10/07/2021 07:35

Accidents happen. Mine fell off a step at nursery and gashed her head around that age. My friend’s son fractured his wrist and foot falling off the back of a sofa in a cafe (don’t ask, he was a toddler and climbed up before we could grab him!) I went to A&E with them to explain I’d witnessed the accident as she was so worried they’d think she’d been neglectful! The staff were very kind and said they see it all the time. Another friend’s toddler fractured his femur and had a splicer cast from falling off his tricycle.

pumpkinpie01 · 10/07/2021 08:05

Please don't feel bad , kids have lots of accidents it's just one of those things. He is bound to fall off his bike at some point.

santabetterwashhishands · 10/07/2021 08:20

Honestly don't beat yourself up xx my kids have had broken bones ,stitches and black eye whilst learning to ride bikes, skip and just playing with friends x they are accidents waiting to happen are children and you can't baby proof everything x

Royalbloo · 10/07/2021 08:26

Oh poor you! Don't worry, he won't even remember it. I smashed my head when I was 4 and still have a scar but I'd never blame my Mum in a million years x

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