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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its harsh to not find one positive thing ??

66 replies

supermario10 · 09/07/2021 15:33

Just read my DS school report and honestly can not find one single positive thing 🙈 any thing remotely positive is then followed up by a negative....

Feel really sad for him 😞

Maybe he's a pain at school ?? Although I have not been told that by school if that is the case. He's definitely a reluctant writer but other than that is doing well at school..

He is in Year 2 ...

OP posts:
MrsDonnelly · 09/07/2021 16:12

Does it specifically say anything negative? It sounds like a generic comment bank report. Doesn’t mean he’s necessarily struggling, just that the teacher (or school as a ‘system’ is often put in place for all staff) hasn’t put much personalised detail. A disappointing read for parents , especially for such young children (and I say that as a teacher)

Original poster
supermario10 · 09/07/2021 16:12

I don't want to copy out his report word for word on here 🙈 but honestly it isn't positive, I think as a PP said maybe it's her style of report writing ? But yes I think maybe I should email and just let her know that I'm a bit disappointed and ask if there's anything I can help with at home? Xx

OP posts:
Geamhradh · 09/07/2021 16:26

You've presumably had parent meetings throughout the year. You've been told in which areas there was room for improvement etc. Reports are, as others have said, are pretty much "choose one of these sentences and copy it in" (to guarantee a certain level of standardization)

Santanomore · 09/07/2021 16:29

@user1497787065

There should never be any surprises in a school report. Any issues should be brought to your attention well in advance of a report being written.
This. There is nothing in my DC report that is news to me.

Surely you have an idea of how he's doing if you've been homeschooling half this year like the rest of us?

emilyfrost · 09/07/2021 16:29

YABU. Those sentence starts are positive and you are being oversensitive.

Also, pretty much all reports are generic. You mentioning a sentence or two isn’t going to out you Hmm

Bridie20 · 09/07/2021 16:33

I don’t think the comments saying reports are copy and paste jobs are accurate. Maybe in some schools, but I’m a teacher with many teacher friends from when I trained and have never heard of anyone having a bank of statements or software to use. One of the aims is to make sure you portray that you know the child and their personality. It takes absolutely ages but it can be enjoyable as you reflect on your class each year.

Original poster
supermario10 · 09/07/2021 16:58

I'll probably get flamed now for saying I'm 'drip feeding' 🤪 but I am a primary teacher and whilst I have been on a career break for some time now I have written lots of reports over the years and have managed to find positive things to say about even the toughest kids! Even if not academically , their personality! I think it's sad that my sons teacher for whatever reason hasn't been able to...maybe he's a s* at school? But I haven't been told that...he's a reluctant writer and I know that myself from working with him at home (homework) my husband and I are both key workers so he has been at school throughout the lockdowns
For context for those talking about generic reports he's in a village school with approx 14 in a class

OP posts:
PuffinDodger · 09/07/2021 17:02

If he was being a pain they should have told you earlier. Maybe they didn't intend for it to seem negative, but worth clarifying

lanthanum · 09/07/2021 17:09

Runningquestion may have put their finger on the problem.

It's all a difficult balance to strike. I once told some parents at year 7 parents' evening that their child was working hard and I was really pleased with her progress, but she would be in the bottom set when we set them after Christmas. They thanked me for being straight with them - apparently they had always felt she was not very good at the subject, but all they'd ever had from the primary school was the "working hard and making good progress" bit, because nobody had wanted to say "but she can only do the easier work" (and this was before rules about reporting whether they were working at the expected level).

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 09/07/2021 17:20

Teacher here. Shame on that teacher, that is just appalling, especially this year. If you have it in you, I would point it out to them, do they even realise this? Reports are not the place for anything particularly new. Very poor show. I hope you don't make anything of reports to your child so at least it's just you dealing with it. We got outs sent electronically this year which was much better and though we had two great reports I didn't make too much of them. They're not the be all and end all. Sorry this has happened to you.

Itsalmostlikeadance · 09/07/2021 17:21

YANBU - time for a meeting

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 09/07/2021 17:21

In Ireland our principal reads all the reports also so should have flagged the negativity.

Original poster
supermario10 · 09/07/2021 17:28

Thanks all for your replies I am definitely going to email them ... but need to think carefully about what to say ... I am disappointed and sad for him and genuinely don't think I'm being oversensitive, I do know my son is not perfect but at 6-7 surely you can think of something more personalised than 'he enjoyed the antarctic topic' 🙈

OP posts:
Tiddleztheelephant · 09/07/2021 17:31

My ds had a Reception teacher like this.... I came out of the first parent's evening feeling so deflated. It turned out though that it was no reflection on ds at all and in fact he was just very much focussed on what he needed to work on next.
Some teacher's don't seem to grasp how important it is to be positive.
I work with children with extreme challenging behaviours but we always manage to be positive about how they love to help, or do art or how lovely their singing voice is..... this stuff matters.

ForeverSausages · 09/07/2021 17:35

@Bridie20

I don’t think the comments saying reports are copy and paste jobs are accurate. Maybe in some schools, but I’m a teacher with many teacher friends from when I trained and have never heard of anyone having a bank of statements or software to use. One of the aims is to make sure you portray that you know the child and their personality. It takes absolutely ages but it can be enjoyable as you reflect on your class each year.
That actually makes me have hope that my son will have a better teacher next year. He's had the same teacher the last 2 years and her only comment on his report was that he needs to try harder at art. Literally that. He hates art 🤷. And that he's working at for the rest of the subjects. So strange, and sad. And I've had zero contact from her for the entire school year (I appreciate it's been tough for teachers).
October2020 · 09/07/2021 17:38

"Is beginning to" means not meeting the standard for the year group, but starting to manage the skills with support/in a group etc. If you didn't know that your child was working below year group expectations then do email in and ask to discuss why you were only told this now.

Doona · 09/07/2021 17:47

I agree that "starting to blah blah" is negative language in primary school reports! But the truth is that some kids are super verbal communicators, for example, and in everyone's business, and others are more reserved. Those reserved kids are always going to get "learning to" take part in group activities etc. It's not necessarily a problem that needs addressing. I don't know why there has to be comparison deficit model on everything.

statetrooperstacey · 09/07/2021 17:52

My DH once got a school report which said “ Simon really enjoys football, a game at which he has no skill’ that was the best bit.
I got one once which said ‘ Stacey is the catalyst around which all things happen’
We both turned out ok😬
Teacher should try harder though really to find something nice, sorry .

Staffy1 · 09/07/2021 17:59

Don’t they ask for feedback? Every report my DS has had has asked for the parents feedback.

Clusterfckintolerant · 09/07/2021 18:07

Don't be sad. Speak to the teacher.
Before you do, be clear on where he was academically last September and where/why you think he has progressed. Did you do much home-learning with him or was he in school throughout lockdown? Home learning was invaluable insight for us; we got to see what the children could generally do, what they struggled with, and gave us a useful measure to compare against comments in the report...

RickiTarr · 09/07/2021 18:15

“Beginning to…”, “Starting to…” mean he has emergent skills in those areas. They write them to a template, commenting on each of the constituent skills in each area of the curriculum. It’s basically a progress sheet for every skill he should be learning.

Talk to the school about how to help to build on his progress so far.

Is his behaviour okay, according to the report?

RickiTarr · 09/07/2021 18:22

@supermario10

I'll probably get flamed now for saying I'm 'drip feeding' 🤪 but I am a primary teacher and whilst I have been on a career break for some time now I have written lots of reports over the years and have managed to find positive things to say about even the toughest kids! Even if not academically , their personality! I think it's sad that my sons teacher for whatever reason hasn't been able to...maybe he's a s* at school? But I haven't been told that...he's a reluctant writer and I know that myself from working with him at home (homework) my husband and I are both key workers so he has been at school throughout the lockdowns For context for those talking about generic reports he's in a village school with approx 14 in a class
The approved format for reports varies between schools, and between LA areas, though, doesn’t it?

I have enough DC and enough family in teaching to have heard a bit on this subject, and see a range of report styles.

YANBU to prefer something less formulaic and more narrative but, realistically, they are probably quite attached to their way of doing things. If it’s a village school l, I can see that the nature of village life might have contributed to their decision to have an almost “tick box” report style, TBH. Have a friendly chat with the class teacher.

RickiTarr · 09/07/2021 18:24

@Doona

I agree that "starting to blah blah" is negative language in primary school reports! But the truth is that some kids are super verbal communicators, for example, and in everyone's business, and others are more reserved. Those reserved kids are always going to get "learning to" take part in group activities etc. It's not necessarily a problem that needs addressing. I don't know why there has to be comparison deficit model on everything.
I think it was adopted to be a positive way of phrasing. The old phraseology was much worse.

Comments at the end about personality and behaviour are usually there to humanise them whole thing, though.

DonLewis · 09/07/2021 18:34

Did you get any numerical marks? In my son's report a 1 is greater depth, 2 expected standard 3, not meeting the required stage, but working towards it and 4 is intervention required.

They get that for their subjects, their behaviour, their effort and focus.

Beginning to... starting to...seems like what you'd write if a child was at a 3 based on that system. Does that feel right?

HopeValley · 09/07/2021 18:56

Have never worked in a primary school with such software. It takes me 1hr+ per report, which I have to complete on top of my normal workload.