I live abroad and am pregnant. Its been over a year since we saw our families and now there is the possibility that people can come and visit.
Last year after I had a stillbirth my parents came to visit but booked a hotel nearby and came to visit but gave me space when I needed it. My husband's parents came over later but wanted to stay in our apartment - we only have a 1 bed apartment and so they would've been sleeping in our living room. I said no, mainly because I was grieving and I'm quite private and wanted to have my own space to cry and not interact with anyone if needed. The flat is small and I didn't want to feel like I was hosting anyone because I just couldn't emotionally at that time and felt we'd be on top of each other.
My MIL kicked up a stink the whole trip, bringing up the fact that they had to pay to stay somewhere else, and why wouldn't we let them stay. They are not poor, have no mortgage but don't like spending money. I got so angry about it because I felt that she should've just respected my feelings during such a difficult time for me, but I'm not very confrontational and was also really struggling post stillbirth so was very passive aggressive about it and didn't say much. My husband struggles as my MIL can be very overbearing, I know he doesn't stand up to her just for an easy life most of the time plus he finds it hard to think of what to say on the spot. She also kept saying 'Oh but we've travelled all this way to see you' when sometimes I just needed to be alone (I mean it was literally a couple of weeks after giving birth and we hadn't buried the baby yet). I felt frustrated because it seemed to be all about her, when my husband and I had been through something so terrible.
Now they want to visit again and stay in our apartment - and I still don't want them to, this time because they will be flying in from the UK, where the covid numbers are going up and I'm not vaccinated at all (it's not recommended here for pregnant people yet) and I've read it spreads quickly indoors. Having lost the previous baby I am being super protective and cautious - we are only meeting a few friends about once a month but only outside and they get tests every time. No-one comes to our apartment apart from my midwife who wears a mask the whole time.
So I would like to ask if they can find somewhere else to stay and also to not see them for the first couple of days and for them to take pcr tests before we meet up. When I say to my husband that to me, this baby is the most important thing he obviously agrees but for some reason he can't just say this to his parents and just the thought of having the conversation with them feels like a huge effort because I'm expecting her to react the same way (I mean if she's happy to be like that just after I lost a baby, then I doubt she'll be more understanding now). I feel frustrated that my DH can't just talk to his parents about it, because we both know it will become and issue and he can't stand up to my MIL. AIBU?