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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housemate briefly interrupted my webcam job interview - AIBU to be annoyed?

75 replies

PMani · 08/07/2021 23:09

Hello all,

I moved to a new house a few weeks back on a lodger agreement (my housemate owns the house - he is older and lived alone quite a while). We get on fine - no real issues so far. TBH it's a bit of stop-gap for me as I'm unemployed and hence don't have a huge amount of choice in the matter, but it's fine for now and I'm happy staying on.

Today I had a video interview for a job I'm very keen on. Me and flatmate have agreed that I can do all such interviews in the communal storage room as the lighting is better than in my bedroom. I him that I'd be in there for a bit - I don't think I explicitly said it was for an interview, but I was dressed up in a shirt and tie so it was pretty obvious.

The interview was going very well, then about halfway through I noticed the door opening. My flatmate was standing there mouthing something - I'm a poor lip-reader so I had to pause the interview. Turns out it was some cleaning products he needed, which I gave him. So, about a 30 second interruption. However it flummoxed me and took me out of the interview headspace and it took me a few minutes to get back into it.

On the one hand - ok it's his house he can do what he wants, the lodging agreement only specifies freedom from interference in my room, yadda yadda. He was in the middle of cleaning and just needed one specialist item and came in for 30 seconds - big deal.
On the other hand I was pretty p'd off afterwards - could he not have waited just 20 minutes for the interview to finish? Was it really that urgent?? He knew I was on an interview - surely basic human courtesy dictates that you don't interrupt people on such an important call unless it's extremely urgent/important?

I've been over-thinking it all day - was it an assertion of dominance? Is he just clueless and unintentionally self-centred after having lived alone for a very long time? The paranoid part of me is even thinking he deliberately tried to sabotage it, as if I get a job I will have more options, one of which would be leaving the house (it has a lot of problems and I think he knows I don't see this as a long-term gig - much better to keep me suck here any paying him rent). Should I sit down and talk about it with him - and risk making a decent set-up I'll probably leave in a few months anyway frosty and unpleasant?

Basically AIBU to be angry this? Advice or comments appreciated.
P. Mani

OP posts:
Onehotmess · 08/07/2021 23:15

YANBU but I’d just leave it so as not to create tension. Buy a lamp and Conduct any other interviews in your private room.

HotPenguin · 08/07/2021 23:16

You didn't actually tell him it was an interview though? Next time stick a sign on the door and tell him.

Sycamoretrees · 08/07/2021 23:20

YABU you should have told him you had an interview and ask not to be disturbed rather than assume he knew from your outfit, especially as you were in a communal space. That said I can understand why you were annoyed, interviews are stressful enough anyway. Hope you get the job.

careerchangeperhaps · 08/07/2021 23:20

YABU. You didn't tell him it was an interview and it was in a communal area. Buy a light and Zoom in your own room in future or make an announcement so that it's clear that you cannot be disturbed for X amount of time in the future.

Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2021 23:21

He knew I was on an interview

You stated clearly that you did not tell him you were doing an interview, and while you might think it was obvious by how you were dressed, that's just not the case for everyone.

Next time tell him plainly or put a note on the door.

HauteGirlSummer · 08/07/2021 23:23

You should have clearly told him you'd be in an interview so he doesn't interrupt midway. Instead of leaving it up to deduce that from your 'pretty obvious' outfit.
That was your mistake.
You can be mad about it but can't blame him tbh.
Always communicate clearly. Never assume.

Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2021 23:24

YABU. You should have told them you were having an interview and not to come in.

But then there's-
I don't think I explicitly said it was for an interview

and

He knew I was on an interview

So which is it?

Confused
MotionActivatedDog · 08/07/2021 23:26

Of course he knew you were in an interview. You had previously agreed with him that you would do all your interviews in the storage room, he saw you go in wearing a shirt and tie and presumably with a laptop. What else would you be doing in there? He knew.

Saltyslug · 08/07/2021 23:26

He’s not psychic. Should have told him beforehand

Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2021 23:28

@MotionActivatedDog

Of course he knew you were in an interview. You had previously agreed with him that you would do all your interviews in the storage room, he saw you go in wearing a shirt and tie and presumably with a laptop. What else would you be doing in there? He knew.
I am not convinced he did. OP should have told him just to be clear.
ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 08/07/2021 23:28

You only moved a few weeks ago. He's not going to know, based on your outfit being unusually formal for you, that you're on an interview.

Next time be explicit if you want to use communal spaces undisturbed.

KittyKat1968 · 08/07/2021 23:29

Sorry I can't keep a straight face thinking about you in a shirt and tie in a cupboard having an interview Smile did you get the job?

MotionActivatedDog · 08/07/2021 23:30

I am not convinced he did. OP should have told him just to be clear.

What else would OP have been in there in shirt and tie for?

And let’s say he genuinely didn’t know, he did once he opened the door! He should have backed out straight away instead of trying to mime his way to the bleach!

Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2021 23:32

@MotionActivatedDog

I am not convinced he did. OP should have told him just to be clear.

What else would OP have been in there in shirt and tie for?

And let’s say he genuinely didn’t know, he did once he opened the door! He should have backed out straight away instead of trying to mime his way to the bleach!

No idea. He may not have even noticed the shirt and tie.

I guess unless we were in the cupboard with the OP it's hard to tell what actually happened here.

I am a bit worried that the light in a storage cupboard is better than in the OP's bedroom. Confused

BoxHedge · 08/07/2021 23:36

I would be raging too. It gives a terrible impression - if you can’t get peace and quiet for something as important as an interview, will they trust you will be able to get peace to work? I hope you get the job despite that setback.

Maybe put a Do not Disturb sign up and have a fake interview tomorrow, and if he interrupts again, move out.

He could just hate you using that space and is being passive aggressive about it do you stop. Either way I wouldn’t want to live there.

AnnaSW1 · 08/07/2021 23:37

You should have told him it was an interview

MotionActivatedDog · 08/07/2021 23:37

Could you get a better light for your room OP? I have one of those SAD lamps and they give great light.

Strawberrysaxifrage1 · 08/07/2021 23:39

I think YANBU, yes it would have been better to tell him explicitly what you were doing but even if it was an ordinary meeting he should have just closed the door once he realised you were on zoom. I'm sure the cleaning product wasn't extremely urgent. Don't make a thing out of this, as a lodger it's really not worth it but make sure you're clear in future if you need to be undisturbed for an interview, or do them in your room. Hope you get the job.

DeborahAlisonphillipa · 08/07/2021 23:40

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. As someone else wrote, you agreed you’d do interviews in there, he knew you were going there so... he knew you were going to do an interview. Even if he didn’t realise (which he did!) as soon as he saw you were in an interview when he opened the door I’d assume the natural response is to immediately close the door and leave you to it.
Not sure whether it’s selfishness, showing his dominance or sabotage. Neither is great but hope it’s the selfishness as least malevolent. I’d probably hope for the best but plan for the worst by reducing opportunities to casually sabotage you. Hope it’s ok living there (you mention the place has a lot of problems) and that you get the job or something soon.

Apandemicyousay · 08/07/2021 23:40

I’ve done a lot of interviewing recently and would have found this mildly amusing and wouldn’t judge you negatively for it. Hope you get the job and can soon leave weirdo landlord!

HotPenguin · 08/07/2021 23:42

Honestly, I've had this sort of misunderstanding with my DH. He said he was in a meeting in the kitchen until 12. I went in to make a cup of tea. He was pissed off. I had forgotten and also didn't realise he didn't want to be disturbed, as I don't care if people are in the background when I'm in a meeting. You can't assume people know what you want them to do unless you tell them and constantly remind!

Saoirse82 · 08/07/2021 23:42

YABU. You didn't tell him you were doing an interview and not everyone notices what someone else is wearing!

doyouneedtowean · 08/07/2021 23:50

YABVU. You didn’t tell him you were on an interview.

He’s not a mind reader, and he more than likely didn’t even notice what you were wearing (and even if he did he’s unlikely to connect that to an interview).

Next time tell him in advance and then you won’t have this issue. It’s a situation entirely of your own making.

sandgrown · 08/07/2021 23:55

I have done a lot of interviews on Teams recently. Before we start we apologise in advance if there are any interruptions and we tell the candidates not to worry if they get interrupted at home . It would be off putting though .

PixieKitten · 09/07/2021 00:07

He's not physic