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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housemate briefly interrupted my webcam job interview - AIBU to be annoyed?

75 replies

PMani · 08/07/2021 23:09

Hello all,

I moved to a new house a few weeks back on a lodger agreement (my housemate owns the house - he is older and lived alone quite a while). We get on fine - no real issues so far. TBH it's a bit of stop-gap for me as I'm unemployed and hence don't have a huge amount of choice in the matter, but it's fine for now and I'm happy staying on.

Today I had a video interview for a job I'm very keen on. Me and flatmate have agreed that I can do all such interviews in the communal storage room as the lighting is better than in my bedroom. I him that I'd be in there for a bit - I don't think I explicitly said it was for an interview, but I was dressed up in a shirt and tie so it was pretty obvious.

The interview was going very well, then about halfway through I noticed the door opening. My flatmate was standing there mouthing something - I'm a poor lip-reader so I had to pause the interview. Turns out it was some cleaning products he needed, which I gave him. So, about a 30 second interruption. However it flummoxed me and took me out of the interview headspace and it took me a few minutes to get back into it.

On the one hand - ok it's his house he can do what he wants, the lodging agreement only specifies freedom from interference in my room, yadda yadda. He was in the middle of cleaning and just needed one specialist item and came in for 30 seconds - big deal.
On the other hand I was pretty p'd off afterwards - could he not have waited just 20 minutes for the interview to finish? Was it really that urgent?? He knew I was on an interview - surely basic human courtesy dictates that you don't interrupt people on such an important call unless it's extremely urgent/important?

I've been over-thinking it all day - was it an assertion of dominance? Is he just clueless and unintentionally self-centred after having lived alone for a very long time? The paranoid part of me is even thinking he deliberately tried to sabotage it, as if I get a job I will have more options, one of which would be leaving the house (it has a lot of problems and I think he knows I don't see this as a long-term gig - much better to keep me suck here any paying him rent). Should I sit down and talk about it with him - and risk making a decent set-up I'll probably leave in a few months anyway frosty and unpleasant?

Basically AIBU to be angry this? Advice or comments appreciated.
P. Mani

OP posts:
RickiTarr · 09/07/2021 00:08

Do you keep calling him your flatmate? That might piss him off. He’s your landlord. You’re a lodger.

It could also be that he just couldn’t read your mind, though. You need to tell people things explicitly if you want them to know those things.

PerveenMistry · 09/07/2021 00:09

Beyond the pale. I'd be very angry.

thinkingaboutitall · 09/07/2021 00:12

You can’t really be angry if you didn’t explicitly tell him not to disturb you.

I would have told him to ensure he doesn’t make loud noises such as hoovering, playing music, or anything that may be heard in the background. You just have to spell out the obvious to try and avoid these things from happening when you’re on video calls

Sparklingbrook · 09/07/2021 00:12

It gives the interviewer a good idea of how you cope with unexpected situations. Did you get the job @PMani ?

MrsJuliaGulia · 09/07/2021 00:13

Don’t stress about it. The interviewer won’t. These things happen. The sound of children crying and dogs barking are now all part of the world of work. Interviewers get it.

So I’d leave it with the landlord. No upside.

Anyway, do you have any further interview? You could always follow up the interview you’ve just had with an email explaining why you’re the right fit for the role etc (assuming you want the job?) and also apologise for the unforeseen interruption midway though the interview.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/07/2021 00:19

If you didn’t tell him it was an interview, yabu.

He is your landlord not Mysterio the mind reader.

rosalie11 · 09/07/2021 00:23

100% would be pissed of

Original poster
PMani · 09/07/2021 00:26

Thanks for responses (and soz for typos in OP).

To clarify, it wasn't in a cupboard but a spare room we use to store things in.

I can see the point that I should have been more explicit. However I habitually wear casual clothes and stay in my room. I only ever wear formal dress and go in the spare room for zoom calls (as per our verbal arrangement) - and the door was fully shut and I was talking fairly loudly.
Also as several have said, if he wasn't aware then surely it would have been better for him to immediately back out when they saw I was on a call rather than persist with a triviality?

TBH I really cba doing another house search or making a big thing of it and ruining the atmosphere what is overall a nice house (the problems relate to minor things like repairs, leaking showers etc.). I hate to be the person who just sweeps issues under the rug but it's probably more hassle then it's worth.
Think I'll just do all such interviews in my own room from now on, crappy lighting and all!

OP posts:
Original poster
PMani · 09/07/2021 00:27

ps. not heard back yet from the job.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 09/07/2021 00:27

YABU. You said you never made it clear you were being interviewed. From now on put a Do Not Disturb sign up for situations like this.
And from the point of view of an interviewer, don't worry about this. The panel may have had a little laugh about it, but they won't score against you for it. It might actually count in your favour as a memorable moment.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/07/2021 00:37

OP you say it was obvious but it clearly wasn’t obvious to him. He maybe doesn’t even notice what you are wearing.

As for backing out? It is his house, his spare room. Whatever he wanted wasn’t trivial to him in that moment and for all he knew the call wasn’t important.

Anyway. It’s done now. Maybe reaching a clear understanding would be the way forward. Or your own room for calls as you say.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 09/07/2021 00:38
  • Get a good light for your room.
  • Tell your landlord clearly when you have an interview.
  • Ask your landlord not to hoover etc while your interview is on.
  • Put a sign on your door during the interview.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/07/2021 00:42

Out of interest though you say in your OP I don't think I explicitly said it was for an interview

And then

He knew I was on an interview - surely basic human courtesy dictates that you don't interrupt people on such an important call unless it's extremely urgent/important

Which was it?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/07/2021 00:43

Try again…

Out of interest though you say in your OP I don't think I explicitly said it was for an interview

And then

He knew I was on an interview - surely basic human courtesy dictates that you don't interrupt people on such an important call unless it's extremely urgent/important

Which was it?

NightoftheLivingBread · 09/07/2021 02:02

YANBU to be annoyed, however it was probably thoughtlessness on the part of your landlord more than anything. It does seem obvious that if you’re unemployed and slinking off to go and sit in the agreed ‘interview cupboard’ in the middle of the day wearing a shirt and tie then there’s a fair chance you’re... doing an interview.

But the theories about wanting to keep you unemployed or trying to assert dominance are far fetched and a bit daft. You’re definitely overthinking there.

He’s probably just not thinking much at all about what you’re up to. Inconsiderate yes, but malicious - unlikely.

Don’t bother having a ‘heart to heart’ with him about it, it’ll just make things weird and is unnecessary. All you need to do is let him know you had an interview today and ask nicely that in future he waits till you’re finished in the space before going in. Then make sure you tell him in advance when you do have an interview planned and put a note on the door while you’re in there to help remind him.

If lighting is an issue you could also invest in a £10 ring light for your own room and do the interviews there.

Good luck with the feedback and the job hunting. It’s a slog going through the application process but you’ll get there!

wombat1a · 09/07/2021 02:16

Sorry but it's not your rented office, its a spare room used to store things in. Yes he could have been more considerate but unless you were explicit in that you are having an interview then I don't see why this is his fault. We have teams meetings weekly and each and every person has some kind of disturbance during it, we have just had a accept if you work from home then sometimes homelife interferes with work.

For an interview someone coming in like this would not affect us at all, we understand finding a quiet space can be near impossible for people.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2021 03:55

@PMani

Thanks for responses (and soz for typos in OP).

To clarify, it wasn't in a cupboard but a spare room we use to store things in.

I can see the point that I should have been more explicit. However I habitually wear casual clothes and stay in my room. I only ever wear formal dress and go in the spare room for zoom calls (as per our verbal arrangement) - and the door was fully shut and I was talking fairly loudly.
Also as several have said, if he wasn't aware then surely it would have been better for him to immediately back out when they saw I was on a call rather than persist with a triviality?

TBH I really cba doing another house search or making a big thing of it and ruining the atmosphere what is overall a nice house (the problems relate to minor things like repairs, leaking showers etc.). I hate to be the person who just sweeps issues under the rug but it's probably more hassle then it's worth.
Think I'll just do all such interviews in my own room from now on, crappy lighting and all!

to clarify, it wasn’t a cupboard but a spare room we use to store things in You’re still talking as though you have equal footing in the house. The ll is doing you a favour allowing you to store stuff in the spare bedroom and use it for interviews. I get why you’re upset, but you need to let it go. You’re not renting that room.
Oceanbliss · 09/07/2021 04:10

YABU. Firstly, you did not tell him. And it doesn’t matter if you were obviously dressed for an interview. Because:

Secondly, you didn’t give him notice that you would be in there for x amount of time and give him the opportunity to go in get what he needs before the interview. That is very inconsiderate and I would be mad at you.

Thirdly, he was very polite and considerate in how he entered the room.

Lastly, he shouldn’t have to wait 20 minutes for you to finish your interview to complete a cleaning task as he might have other things that he wants get done throughout the day. Thats why you should have given him notice that you had an interview at specific time for approximate duration and wish not to be disturbed.

Oceanbliss · 09/07/2021 04:13

Also, Mummyoflittledragon is correct.

Rmka · 09/07/2021 04:17

First of all, I wouldn't worry about the people interviewing to you. So many people work from home now, that I'm sure they've seen much worse things, this situation doesn't sound bad at all Smile

Second of all, I think YABU to be upset with him. He actually might be equally upset with you. You should have told him you're having an interview and how long it will take. This way he could have taken anything he needed from the room before you started. Because you didn't tell him, he didn't know how long you'll be there, so I don't blame him for interrupting you.

I hope you'll get the job l, good luck! Flowers

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/07/2021 05:47

@Oceanbliss

YABU. Firstly, you did not tell him. And it doesn’t matter if you were obviously dressed for an interview. Because:

Secondly, you didn’t give him notice that you would be in there for x amount of time and give him the opportunity to go in get what he needs before the interview. That is very inconsiderate and I would be mad at you.

Thirdly, he was very polite and considerate in how he entered the room.

Lastly, he shouldn’t have to wait 20 minutes for you to finish your interview to complete a cleaning task as he might have other things that he wants get done throughout the day. Thats why you should have given him notice that you had an interview at specific time for approximate duration and wish not to be disturbed.

This....

you can't expect him to know what's in your head...and then have to guess with increasing steps..

.. OP is in more formal clothing... /clearly at an interview? ... /which may be 2 minutes into or an hour elapsed? ....

You're expecting him to guess...

Also you have much less legal and moral right as a lodger... He's doing you a favour by letting you use his spare room... It isn't a COMMuNAL room... It belongs to him.

I wonder if he's picked up on your treating the house as partially yours.. As in a house share... Its not...

I'd be pretty pissed off if my lodger got arsey for entering my own room, when he hadn't had the politeness to tell me he was in an interview for an hour and couldn't be disturbed.

cauliflowerkorma · 09/07/2021 06:05

With my dad i'd have to
Spell it out as he just cannot get his head around remote working and modern technology. He sometimes can register i am
On a call-but still sits on the sofa behind me and 'joins in' as he can't grasp i am on camera.

So announce in advance. Possibly sign on door.

I believe people are inherently good so i's not torture yourself with thoughts of
Sabotage until it happens again.

Somuddled · 09/07/2021 06:37

While it's an annoying disruption. No decent interviewer will hold it against you. If they didn't see him, they will likely assume you had children who needed something. To thoes people saying 'it gives a terrible impression' Why would you be so pretty as to judge someone on something so simple and irrelevant?

OP I asked to pause an interview once because I saw a man roaming around my elderly neighbors garden. Got the job not problem as the people interviewing me were not monsters.

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/07/2021 06:50

I have done lots of online interviews. Interruptions have happened in a few, they don't impact on the outcome unless you react in an unprofessional way.

You need to think of yourself as the lodger you are. Your landlord will not be paying you the same mental attention he would to a friend or family member, what you're wearing etc is just not of interest.

If you need privacy then you need to explicitly state this. Tell your landlord, put a notice on the door saying when you expect to finish and then thank them for being quiet etc. All will help generate a respectful and considerate relationship.

Good luck with the job hunt.

Mayra1367 · 09/07/2021 06:54

You should of told him it was an interview.

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