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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Last day of term detention

59 replies

mamaduckbone · 08/07/2021 19:17

It's my ds2's last day of term tomorrow and they finish at 12.30. It's also his birthday and he's going out with friends straight from school. He's turning 12.

He was given a lunchtime detention today for what seems to be a fairly minor offence (although I realise that I'm only hearing ds's POV) It means staying behind tomorrow when everyone has gone. Why any teacher in their right mind would want kids there after term ends is beyond me, but there you go...

Now, I'm usually 100% on the teacher's side (I'm one myself) and supportive of whatever sanctions are put in place. However, on this one occasion WIBU to write a note saying we have plans directly after school so he can't stay, and get ds to write a letter of apology instead?
(I think not, Dh thinks he should do the detention)

OP posts:

Original poster

mamaduckbone · 08/07/2021 22:46

@fourminutestosavetheworld

So he was being distracting to others, ignored the inevitable warnings and then argued with the teacher when she pulled him up on it.

You do know that there were kids in that lesson trying to learn, and a teacher trying her best to impart some knowledge?

If you teach him that he can behave how he wants with complete impunity, and that you will back him over the school, you really are doing a pretty poor job of parenting and setting yourselves up for more conflict down the line.

As a teacher, I've seen so many kids like this deteriorating academically and behaviourally over the years. Usually, at some point, they start misbehaving for the parents too, which is a sort of justice I suppose.

Not sure how you've established a whole diatribe about my parenting based on one isolated incident. But thanks, I'll bear it in mind

OP posts:

Dalgleish · 08/07/2021 23:07

I think it would be really poor show to undermine the teacher by taking him out of detention. As a teacher yourself, you surely must recognise that pupils who are given sanctions almost never completely own up to what they have done, especially to their parents (and especially when missing birthday time because of the punishment).

New2ctc · 08/07/2021 23:26

"spending my son's birthday looking after other people's children..."

🤔 You're a teacher? It's a school day?
They're you're Y6 class who you've loved and cared for for at least a year, and they're leaving?

But I'm back to, er, it's a SCHOOL DAY and you're their TEACHER? What else would you be doing?

GreyhoundG1rl · 08/07/2021 23:28

@New2ctc

"spending my son's birthday looking after other people's children..."

🤔 You're a teacher? It's a school day?
They're you're Y6 class who you've loved and cared for for at least a year, and they're leaving?

But I'm back to, er, it's a SCHOOL DAY and you're their TEACHER? What else would you be doing?

The mind boggles 😂

sherrystrull · 09/07/2021 11:01

@New2ctc

"spending my son's birthday looking after other people's children..."

🤔 You're a teacher? It's a school day?
They're you're Y6 class who you've loved and cared for for at least a year, and they're leaving?

But I'm back to, er, it's a SCHOOL DAY and you're their TEACHER? What else would you be doing?

I agree with this. I'm a teacher. I've missed tons of things over the years as their birthdays fell on a work day. Just like millions of other people who work. It's life.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/07/2021 11:04

Go out later. Tell the guests why. Don’t suppose he’ll do whatever it was again in a hurry.
Teachers won’t be keeping a child back on last day of term for a triviality.

Shadedog · 09/07/2021 11:09

yabu. It’s 30 mins punishment for something he actually did. It feels compounded because it’s a half day and his birthday but there isn’t a “you can be disruptive if it’s your birthday or a half holiday” clause in the behaviour policy (I imagine).

ilovesooty · 09/07/2021 11:22

He should do the detention and you should support that. The fact that it's his birthday is irrelevant.

I'm glad I don't teach anymore.

UserAtLarge · 09/07/2021 11:33

It's not worth the argument over half an hour's detention.
unless you have a particular organised child, he and his friends will spend at least 30 minutes outside school arguing about where they are going, if they will go and change first, if they need to go back to Jason' house for him to get something, if it's worth seeing if the cashier that will sell them Red Bull at the local shop is on duty and if they have enough snacks. So he'll miss precisely nothing. Or maybe that's just my secondary school children.

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