Last day of term detention

[mamaduckbone]

It's my ds2's last day of term tomorrow and they finish at 12.30. It's also his birthday and he's going out with friends straight from school. He's turning 12.

He was given a lunchtime detention today for what seems to be a fairly minor offence (although I realise that I'm only hearing ds's POV) It means staying behind tomorrow when everyone has gone. Why any teacher in their right mind would want kids there after term ends is beyond me, but there you go...

Now, I'm usually 100% on the teacher's side (I'm one myself) and supportive of whatever sanctions are put in place. However, on this one occasion WIBU to write a note saying we have plans directly after school so he can't stay, and get ds to write a letter of apology instead?
(I think not, Dh thinks he should do the detention)

Some teachers are ott.

I think he has to suck it up and do the detention, and catch up his mates after. They'll still have loads of time.

Op. Stop comparing him to others. Support the school you chose to send him to. Move on

mamaduckbone

She was trying to do a 'normal' lesson in food tech on the last but one day of term with knackered year 7s, so I'm sure focus wasn't great generally.

None of this excuses your son's behaviour, and as a teacher you should really know better than to try and use this as an excuse.

It's not easy, but you must not always believe your child's tales of what happened.

Let the school take their own action and stay out of it.

I'm sure as a teacher you've dealt with interfering parents.

So why become one?

If it wasn’t his birthday, I would make him go. However, it is and he has plans so I feel like he should be able to go and enjoy his afternoon. Can you email the teacher directly and explain this and make sure he goes and apologises first thing?

As a teacher yourself, you should know that even though she may not have followed the sanction policy as you would describe it, I’m guessing she gave him plenty of verbal warnings before losing her patience. Also, don’t be so naive to believe a 12 year old who is trying to get you on side 😂

Jeez......over 12 months of people complaining their kids aren't being taught, then when a teacher IS teaching a 'proper' lesson in the last week of term parents think they should expect and accept poor behaviour.

Don’t be so naive

Let me correct your previous post a little. Despite being knackered from all the exam stress this year, your son's teacher tried to plan a good lesson, as children have had so much disruption this year. Im assuming actually cooking something if you say a normal food lesson, which is probably loads of prep and hassle. Then your son was messing about and probably got several reminders before finally being given a point, warning, whatever. He was then rude when speaking to staff and so given a detention.

@winewolfhowls

Let me correct your previous post a little. Despite being knackered from all the exam stress this year, your son's teacher tried to plan a good lesson, as children have had so much disruption this year. Im assuming actually cooking something if you say a normal food lesson, which is probably loads of prep and hassle. Then your son was messing about and probably got several reminders before finally being given a point, warning, whatever. He was then rude when speaking to staff and so given a detention.

This.

No wonder people grow up to not give a toss about authority and consequences for poor behaviour when their parent, a fellow teacher, thinks they should be let off because it's their birthday!

I don't think I believe that you're a teacher. There is no way that you'd take 'Well, Francesca had her phone out and she didn't get a detention when all I did was piss the teacher off throughout the duration of the lesson and then gob off at her when she told me for the last time to stop it' as gospel truth if you've ever had to control 30 kids, particularly when around pointy things and blistering hot things for 50 minutes.

Even primary teachers know full well the irritation of the kid whose Mum complains he missed five minutes of playtime for attempting to forcibly insert Crayolas into little Zachariah's left earhole when Ella-MaeB was looking out of the window and not paying attention and didn't get exactly the same consequence.

he doesn't think he deserves it.
Ffs! Tough shit...
And you're going to let him "choose" whether to show up or not.

Muppet.

It’s only half an hour. Won’t his friends wait?

Surely his friends can wait 30 mins. It sounds like he was quite badly behaved. Usually if you don't turn up to a detention they don't just move it to another time they make it longer, although not sure they would do it next term.

@winewolfhowls

Let me correct your previous post a little. Despite being knackered from all the exam stress this year, your son's teacher tried to plan a good lesson, as children have had so much disruption this year. Im assuming actually cooking something if you say a normal food lesson, which is probably loads of prep and hassle. Then your son was messing about and probably got several reminders before finally being given a point, warning, whatever. He was then rude when speaking to staff and so given a detention.

This in spades. I'm on my knees. I'm teaching normal lessons because the kids have missed so much. If a kid dicks about he's getting a detention. I couldn't give a flying fuck if it's his birthday/end of term/he's got plans. Tell your son to wind his neck in and do his punishment.

I don't believe you're a teacher. You're every teacher's nightmare.

Wow you are actually a teacher but you support "he didn't think he'd done so"..." for answering back". You know he got stroppy and gobbed off.

@winewolfhowls

Let me correct your previous post a little. Despite being knackered from all the exam stress this year, your son's teacher tried to plan a good lesson, as children have had so much disruption this year. Im assuming actually cooking something if you say a normal food lesson, which is probably loads of prep and hassle. Then your son was messing about and probably got several reminders before finally being given a point, warning, whatever. He was then rude when speaking to staff and so given a detention.

Nope, let me correct you...not a cooking lesson, a theory lesson.

I think it should be done, the only question is whether it is now or at the start of the autumn term.

When people say "Oh just tell the school your child isn't doing the detention" I always wonder what the behaviour must be like in their child's school if the parents are really able to just opt out of the school behaviour system like that with no comeback. It wouldn't work in most schools as it would be escalated

He should do the detention. His friends can hang around for 30 minutes.

You're a teacher and you're happy for your child to be disruptive, rude and to not take responsibility for their actions. As a fellow teacher I would expect you to know that I would not be putting a child in detention on the last day of term without good cause. Instead you decide to undermine their authority. Easy to see where he gets his behaviour from.

So he was being distracting to others, ignored the inevitable warnings and then argued with the teacher when she pulled him up on it.

You do know that there were kids in that lesson trying to learn, and a teacher trying her best to impart some knowledge?

If you teach him that he can behave how he wants with complete impunity, and that you will back him over the school, you really are doing a pretty poor job of parenting and setting yourselves up for more conflict down the line.

As a teacher, I've seen so many kids like this deteriorating academically and behaviourally over the years. Usually, at some point, they start misbehaving for the parents too, which is a sort of justice I suppose.

I've said that I'm not going to be 'that parent' and write the sodding note. Had a precious mummy moment, got over it.

Clearly IABU but why so many rude responses? Oh yes, because it's on the internet so it's ok...I hope those of you slinging insults about teach your children better internet etiquette.

I am a teacher @GreyhoundG1rl , also on their knees, trying to make the end of term exciting and enjoyable for a year 6 class who have had a really shit time of it. This includes spending my son's birthday on an outdoor pursuits day with other people's kids. Maybe because of this my judgement was clouded slightly. There really isn't any need to be so unpleasant. And I did say in my OP that I have always been 100% in support of the school previously. This just seems a bit shit and OTT. Hey ho, there's a reason I generally don't step near AIBU.