To feel weird about my surname...divorce.

[princessconsuelabananahammock4]

Been married 9 years. 2 young dcs. All currently share husbands (soon to be ex) name.

It's mostly very amicable and I always thought I'd want the same name as my dcs but I just feel weird about keeping his.

I also feel weird about using my maiden name.

WWYD or what have you done if you felt similar?

I had no children when I divorced and just reverted back to my birth surname as soon as we’d split. I did toy with changing by deed poll to a completely different one!

My daughter has a different surname to me and she got questioned when re-entering the UK about who I was when we’d travelled abroad alone once - she was too tired to even speak to this strange man and he gave up in the end!!

I never used my married name either officially or unofficially. I have never had an issue travelling with my children. We did once have an immigration officer ask my eldest if I was his mum but that was it

This. Dc got asked “who is this lady?”. They looked at him as if he was mad and said it’s my mum. That was it.

We travel alone with dc a lot due to sports competitions. Never been an issue. I have copies of birth certs, passports and all docs on my phone anyway in case of loss, and a quick check through my photo history or facebook page is probably proof enough! Or they can phone DH.

They do check even if you have the same name.

I think my children were once asked where mummy was when they went away with their dad (XH). They have the same surname so it's not limited to women who have a different name anyway.

I've been away with them lots and have never been questioned (we all have the same name).

I'm not changing mine. If i remarry I'll take dp's but not bothering before that too much hassle

My mum kept her married title and his surname just to piss off his second wife, and it worked. She was an angry lady !

I had an impossible to spell double barrelled maiden name. I kept my short and simple married name. It was mine for 23 years and May as well continue to be. He took my given name and changed it, he changed me. I decide now.

I kept my married name once I divorced because I preferred it to my maiden name, didn't want the hassle of changing it and it seemed easier to have to same name as the kids. Changed it once I got remarried to my new husbands name. Debated double barrelling it but my husband wasn't keen as he saw it as a name linked to my first marriage

I don’t want to keep mine but do want same name as my children so I’m keeping it til the youngest turns 18 or could be sooner as she wants to change her name by deed poll to my maiden name as soon as she’s old enough

Ive been asked when travelling alone with dc what my relationship is. We have different names and different nationalities. But the woman looked very relieved when I offered her the bc!

And there was a post not so long ago where a mner was trying to choose some new name for herself.

My mum was married to her first husband for all of 18 months over 50 years ago and still uses his surname! No idea where he is now, or even if he's still alive. She was established in her career by the time she married my dad and didn't want to change it again.

I have a different surname to my lo and have never had a problem when we've been abroad just me and him. Some countries can have an issue if a child is with one parent and not the other - South Africa I think is one.

Rickitarr

To change my surname within my job role i have to change it with my professional body. And they would only accept the divorce certificate or deed poll. My workplace is where I sign my name and see it written more than anywhere else.

No need for the sarcastic face.

I’ve got this dilemma too!

I’ve had my married name for 23 years now and quite like it and don’t want to revert to my maiden name and have recently found out that my lovely dad is not actually my biological father anyway and am not ready to take my bio dads surname either! Easier to leave as is for now.