To be slightly annoyed

[WhatNow101]

I'm only slightly annoyed at this. Not sure if it's reasonable or not.
On holiday with partner. I've received a work email that needs a reply ASAP. I've said I'm going to respond to it. It would take less than 5 minutes.
Partner is annoyed saying I'm prioritising work over our relationship and holiday.

Partner talks to me for around 45 mins saying how frustrated they are that I'm considering replying to work email.
Then partner goes to watch football for 2 hours. Which we've watched every time it's been on this week even though I really don't like football. I don't mind the football by the way, because I'll just do my own thing for that time. I'm also aware football might be seen as relaxing downtime while away and work emails aren't which is why I'm posting really.

I feel slightly annoyed that I've been given the 3rd degree about responding to a work email saying I'm not prioritising us when they're off watching football shortly after.

Or am I being unreasonable because I'm still responding to work despite it being my week off?

Yeah I would be a bit annoyed.

Before I took my most recent Job, I spoke to my dp about the increase in responsibility that came with it.

So if he ever moans, I remind him we has this conversation. Which isn't often

Feels like your dp expects your to prioritise him, but doesn't reciprocate.

Tbh I would be really annoyed if my DP was working whilst we were supposed to be on holiday.

Why were you looking at emails?

I think it's a totally separate issue to the footie watching.

I would be very annoyed but also unlikely to be in a relationship with someone who is so self-centred they don't even realise they're a hypocrite.

Oh god I hate it it’s my DH looks at work emails or takes a phone call whilst we’re out let alone on holiday. It’s like a red rag to a bull for me.

Ffs. What an over reaction. Tell him to pee off. It's just an email. Wouldn't annoy me on the slightest if my DP had to see to a few things when we were away. I'd have a cocktail waiting on him when he finished. Life's too short to be a grump!

I think it's a totally separate issue to the footie watching

How?

So partner moaned about your work email for 9 times as long as it would have taken to just reply to it? 🤔
It wouldn’t bother me if my DP (if I had one) had one urgent email to reply to while we were on holiday, especially if I was going to be spending 2hrs watching something on tv that they weren’t interested in. Your mistake here was mentioning it - if you hadn’t said it was work you could have sent off a reply without him knowing and then forgotten about it and enjoyed the rest of your holiday. Hopefully your partner isn’t prone to sulking!

Lots of people I know still need to check in with work emails while away. A quick email is really no reason for him to get annoyed, especially when he gets to watch the football.

@lockdownalli

Tbh I would be really annoyed if my DP was working whilst we were supposed to be on holiday.

Why were you looking at emails?

I think it's a totally separate issue to the footie watching.

The message was sent to me via a text message asking me to email. Otherwise I may not have seen it. Naughty really to have texted me as I feel that's more personal than to email me.

@rjacksmiss

Ffs. What an over reaction. Tell him to pee off. It's just an email. Wouldn't annoy me on the slightest if my DP had to see to a few things when we were away. I'd have a cocktail waiting on him when he finished. Life's too short to be a grump!

I thought something along these lines. It would take 5 minutes at the most and then hoped we could just carry on having a nice evening.

@Sunbird24

So partner moaned about your work email for 9 times as long as it would have taken to just reply to it? 🤔 It wouldn’t bother me if my DP (if I had one) had one urgent email to reply to while we were on holiday, especially if I was going to be spending 2hrs watching something on tv that they weren’t interested in. Your mistake here was mentioning it - if you hadn’t said it was work you could have sent off a reply without him knowing and then forgotten about it and enjoyed the rest of your holiday. Hopefully your partner isn’t prone to sulking!

I said the same thing. That talking about it and 'having words' lasted far longer than the email would have taken. I do wish I'd not mentioned it. But I also don't want to be thinking that I can't mention things in case it turns into an argument. If I'd not mentioned it though, they never would have known.

@IMNOTSHOUTING

Lots of people I know still need to check in with work emails while away. A quick email is really no reason for him to get annoyed, especially when he gets to watch the football.

I thought this. But then wondered if I was in the wrong because this is a break away from work. But I only responded as they'd sent me a text message asking me to email across some information. Really I think sending a text to me is more personal than just emailing me.

@Sloaneslone

Yeah I would be a bit annoyed.

Before I took my most recent Job, I spoke to my dp about the increase in responsibility that came with it.

So if he ever moans, I remind him we has this conversation. Which isn't often

Feels like your dp expects your to prioritise him, but doesn't reciprocate.

I thought this. And I do have a lot of responsibility in my job which they know.

Was it urgent?

If so, that's why they text you. Because your wouldn't have known otherwise.

I really don't get peoples issues with replying to the odd email. A few minutes of distraction isn't a big deal.

@Idontgiveagriffindamn

Oh god I hate it it’s my DH looks at work emails or takes a phone call whilst we’re out let alone on holiday. It’s like a red rag to a bull for me.

I wondered this as I have sometimes looked before during days out. Or I have received a voicemail while we've been out. I'm self employed so I'm the only one who can respond but it does really frustrate DP, so I rarely do it.

@Sloaneslone

Was it urgent?

If so, that's why they text you. Because your wouldn't have known otherwise.

I really don't get peoples issues with replying to the odd email. A few minutes of distraction isn't a big deal.

It was fairly urgent and it would take 5 minutes to do what they'd asked me to do really.

Was it maybe the text aspect that set your partner off? Maybe DP went a bit OTT because that is quite intrusive to send a text to look at an email imho. Was it actually something really urgent btw?

Oops cross posted big time here I think.

When you are self employedbits even more difficult. You can't just ignore something.

And if it genuinely took 5 mins, it's not different to responding to a text from a friend.

Massive over reaction by your DP. it would take you 5 minutes and otherwise you will feel more stressed and unable to relax and enjoy knowing it is hanging there. It has minimal to no impact on him. If you wanted to spend half the day worrying, or were checking evry few minutes, that would be very different.

@lockdownalli

Tbh I would be really annoyed if my DP was working whilst we were supposed to be on holiday.

Why were you looking at emails?

I think it's a totally separate issue to the footie watching.

Pretty much the standard in any professional role?

Your DP has no reasons whatsoever to be annoyed.
Whether you should check and respond to your work emails during your break is entirely up to you, not him, your job, your responsability.

He's a hypocritical knob. Call him out on it. Stop 'not minding'.

Did the person who texted know you were on annual leave? It depends on what the issue was I suppose, as to whether you should or shouldn't be doing work stuff on holiday.

Good job he's not married to my other half. Last year we nearly managed the whole journey to our holiday cottage but an hour before we got there we had to pull over twice into laybys while DH dealt with an urgent work issue when his phone rang. The third time I was fed up of stopping and just said I'd relay instructions over the phone from DH while he was driving. i think the record was a few years before that, though, when we were only 5 mins away from leaving home filling up with petrol for the journey ahead when his work phone went.

It does get annoying and I sometimes have to remind DH gently that he isn't obliged to answer everything to do with work when he's on annual leave, and it does pull him to his senses and he switches his work phone off for the day and just check it morning and night for urgent messages.

Could you not do work stuff during the football if you're not into it?

@Bumbers

Massive over reaction by your DP. it would take you 5 minutes and otherwise you will feel more stressed and unable to relax and enjoy knowing it is hanging there. It has minimal to no impact on him. If you wanted to spend half the day worrying, or were checking evry few minutes, that would be very different.

I thought this. It would take 5 mins and I could then forget about it. Rather than thinking about it until we're back home. And those 5 mins wouldn't make a difference to them. I could have done it while the bloody football was on!