Boyfriend makes me feel so alone when pregnant

[Beckyxox12]

So I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and the whole way through my pregnancy I’ve just felt so alone and I feel like my boyfriend just does not care. He goes to work in the day time fair enough but he never comes straight home he’s always out doing something with his mates and then on the weekends he goes out with his friends again and If I dare ask him to stay in once with me or go somewhere with me he says I’m controlling him but that’s not the case I just genuinely want abit of time together. I’ve told him how alone I feel and I want him to spend more time with me but he never seems to do anything about it I just feel like he’s only bothered about seeing his friends I feel second best. I see my friends. Sometimes but not a lot as we live different lives they go out getting drunk a lot so I can’t participate in that so most of the time I’m just sat at home on my own waiting for him. I feel like I’m a sleeping partner to him. We’ve also just moved out into a house which he agreed to pay the rent and bills for as I’m ok maternity pay Which is little to nothing I agreed to help out as much as I can but no way can I afford all the rent and. Bills and lately he keeps blackmailing me everytime we argue saying he will smash the house up and walk out and leave. Me to pay for everything Which I physically can’t I don’t even earn enough to pay the rent alone never mind the other bills. Also whenever I bring it up to him how I feel and ask him to treat me a bit better he tells me he’s done with me and he doesn’t love me . I just feel abit stuck I don’t know what to do.

Becky I think you will be able to claim benefits, housing benefit will pay most of your rent (I see someone has already suggested that), if you are on your own. Take some advice about it.

Your partner sounds terrible: immature and selfish. To speak to you so nastily is dreadful but even worse now you are pregnant. You will be well rid of him.

Put yourself first for a while. You'll get through.

Also I know he wants something to do with the baby aswell and he wants his last Name and his name on the birth certificate and if don’t then he will cause problems for my family

If he makes any threats at all, you need to inform the police.

All he wants is some way to tie you to him so he can continue to exercise his hatred of you and of women in general, and make your life miserable.

DO NOT allow his name on the birth cert. If you do, he will abuse you and the baby by means of insisting on his 'rights'. You can go on your own to register the baby.

Get in touch with rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/
Tell them your situation with the rent and about the name on the birth cert. Ask for advice or a referral.

You also need to call Women's Aid - 0808 2000 247. Leave a message telling them the best time to call you back.

Please be willing to take advice to leave and cut your losses here.

If you think things are bad now, wait until the baby arrives.

There is absolutely no future for the relationship you have with this man.

Speak tonight landlord they may let you out of your tenancy early if you explain, the reason people are saying not to put him on the birth certificate are is if you don't he has no rights to the baby to take them and not being them back for example, if you put him on he has parental responsibility and equal rights to the child.

I second everything that’s been said on this thread.

OP leave this man, don’t put his name anywhere near the birth certificate. He’s abusive. He won’t have a right to just take the baby if he’s on the birth certificate, don’t make it a discussion just go to register without him. Don’t let him bully you into doing differently so don’t mention it at all. Call women’s aid today and talk to your landlord about the abuse, say you’re heavily pregnant and need to leave, hopefully they will understand. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Xx

Op, he sounds absolutely vile. He won't change. You need to get out before the baby is here.

What do you mean he'd cause problems for your family??

Run, run, run away and don't look back, before he hurts you and the baby

Wow. Well he sounds like a complete and utter bastard OP and as some have pointed out already I think you need to be making plans to become a single mum.

You're better off without him in your life. It is quite obvious he is not ready to accept the colossal responsibility that comes with having a baby.

Best of luck OP x

LTB. Far easier to leave him before baby arrives than after.

Register the birth without him. If you put him on the BC he has parental responsibility. Much better to leave him off so you have sole parental responsibility and don't have to share it with an abuser. Leaving him off doesn't prevent you claiming child maintenance.

Give baby your surname. You will be the primary carer so it makes sense for you both to share the same name.

If you give him PR and give baby his surname you will need his permission to change your child's surname should you ever want to.