A baby at 62 (media article)

[Edenspirits]

There is always a lot of debate on mumsnet around age and babies so I wondered what the view of Deborah Warner was who just had her first baby at 62:

www.theguardian.com/stage/2021/jul/07/life-is-never-what-you-expect-deborah-warner-on-theatre-nature-and-new-parenthood

I think its bonkers to be honest but aibu?

OP has now realised that the women in question didn’t carry the baby!

Some very unpleasant and unnecessary responses on here !
My mum had me (unplanned and a complete shock to her) at 49. I can therefore talk from the experience as a child with an older mother.
I always felt like a carer from my late teens onwards. My mum was pretty active, but did become affected with illnesses often connected with people in their 60's/70's . I spent most of my early forties as her main carer when she developed dementia and was bed bound, all while dealing with a full time job and dc. I have been left mentally and physically exhausted by it all and think that anyone considering having children post 40 needs to consider the impact it could have upon their offspring in the long term.

She's a whole decade younger than John Snow.

[quote Edenspirits]@Youdiditanyway yes, I realised that after someone pointed it out as it wasnt clear in the article. I thought she had given birth at 62 which is why I thought it was bonkers[/quote]
"Four weeks ago, Warner’s partner, the singer Claire Egan, gave birth to a baby girl"

I thought it was pretty clear.

Gabriel Byrne had a child at 67.

@TellySavalashairbrush my dad also had more kids in his late 50s and its been really hard for them actually. He never had much energy for them and is now pretty incapacitated in his mid 70s with them still pretty young in their 20s.

@Bizawit

Don’t be so judgemental. Would you be posting this if she were a man? Presumably not, because that happens all the time.

Yes, I would. Having a child who’s pretty much guaranteed to lose a parent before they’re 30 is fairly self indulgent in my book. As for Ecclestone - words fail me.

You maybe should have read the article first. Like @steff13 said it is quite clearly stated. It isn't any different to the many fathers who have children later in life. Would I personally want to be a parent at 62, no but then I already have two children. Each to their own.

Nobody should become a parent at 62, regardless if you're male or female. It's quite clear that people who do this are fulfilling their own wants and don't give a toss about the impact on the child.

Becoming an OAP when the child is only starting school is just wrong, not to mention raising a teenager in your late 70s. Poor kid is going to have to deal with issues way beyond their years.

I think it's selfish to become a parent at that age and older (for both fathers and mothers)

@Blossomtoes well it happens pretty regularly so why don’t you start a
Mumsnet thread about how outraged you are?

Or.. you could be less presumptuous and judgemental and get on with your own life of course.

@Taliskerskye

It’s just judgey as fuck. And you know it.

No, it's not. It's not judgey to have an opinion. And I'm 60 and I can tell you that being the parent to a new baby wouldn't appeal at all. I've known long-established lesbian relationships split because of the younger one's desire to have a baby fairly late down the line and the older partner struggling to accept the decision.

It's also different in lesbian relationships. Septuagenarian men can keep siring children with little expectation that they'll be woken in the night to do a feed and nappy change, but the female partner who hasn't had the baby (and may not want one) will may well be expected to be a full-on second mum.

One lesbian couple of my acquaintance stayed together by dividing their house into flats and living separately for the first 10 years of their daughter's life. The older one, who didn't want a child, was involved in the child's life but only on her terms. A lot of people were horrified but she was only formally doing what a lot of men do: concentrating on her work, limiting her availability and picking and choosing her involvement.

So off with you and your 'judgey' comments, this is an interesting lesbian and feminist issue.

Her girlfriend had the baby. What happens in a situation like this where she isn’t related to the baby? Will she adopt it?

[quote Bizawit]@Blossomtoes well it happens pretty regularly so why don’t you start a
Mumsnet thread about how outraged you are?

Or.. you could be less presumptuous and judgemental and get on with your own life of course.[/quote]
Why would I do that when OP’s provided a perfectly good thread for me to express my outrage? Too damned right, I’m judging and it’s hardly presumptuous to express an opinion.

[quote Edenspirits]@Youdiditanyway yes, I realised that after someone pointed it out as it wasnt clear in the article. I thought she had given birth at 62 which is why I thought it was bonkers[/quote]
What part of "Four weeks ago, Warner’s partner, the singer Claire Egan, gave birth to a baby girl" was difficult to understand?!

Why would I do that when OP’s provided a perfectly good thread for me to express my outrage? Too damned right, I’m judging and it’s hardly presumptuous to express an opinion

It is the content of your opinion that is presumptuous. And this thread was created because it was specifically about a woman being pregnant at 62, which was thought to be unusual.

Wow. And when older people grumble about young people these days being so mercenary I jump in and say they're wrong —but perhaps they're right after all. Who'd want to be a parent knowing that your net worth is all your children are interested in?

Glad we both agree that you are judgemental.

@Bizawit

Why would I do that when OP’s provided a perfectly good thread for me to express my outrage? Too damned right, I’m judging and it’s hardly presumptuous to express an opinion

It is the content of your opinion that is presumptuous. And this thread was created because it was specifically about a woman being pregnant at 62, which was thought to be unusual.

Except it wasn’t. The 62 year old is the partner of the mother. Which is just as bad.

@TellySavalashairbrush what was your father like? In this article there are two mothers and the second mother didn't give birth to the baby.

People always mention Mick Jagger and Bernie Ecclestone as some kind of argument that this is acceptable in men. No it isn't. These men are considered sad old goats and pathetic in their old age

I wouldn't do it. But, my parents were in their 30s when I was born, and they were both dead by the time I was 24 (cancer). So, I guess ultimately it's not my business.

None of my business

I don't think it's judgmental to be surprised at this. People on here love to play devils advocate. If it was one of your friends then you would surely have a little gossip about it. It's not the norm and there are much more trivial things discussed on here

A lot of people have children when they probably 'shouldn't'. This feels fairly low down that scale compared to a lot of situations.