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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend as rude?

48 replies

spinningaroundthemoon · 06/07/2021 23:15

We planned to meet at a retail park and go to IKEA tonight. She was late, which she always is. I was waiting for around 15 minutes. She then texts to say she was here but needed to go to another shop first as she had to return something.

Anyway we finally go in and then she’s texting or emailing work, dramatically saying how they are trying to get in contact with her. And literally walking 2 steps a minute because she’s so focused on her phone. She said she had no signal to call so I offered her my phone which she just said no it’s fine. Any attempt at conversation was just pointless, like when you just know someone isn’t taking in a word you’re saying - I could have picked up a cushion and had a better chat with it.

I got so fed up that I just walked off - as in the walked at a normal pace rather than her slow steps not saying a word.

OP posts:
BadLad · 06/07/2021 23:27

Yes, that sounds very annoying.

It's why I much prefer shopping on my own, although some people like to share opinions on outfits they try on.

But IKEA is miserable at the best of times, so it must be hell having to go through it at someone else's pace.

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

Freddiefox · 06/07/2021 23:33

My friend does this, always on her phone texting people, we went for dinner a couple of weeks ago and it was just really boring sitting and waiting for her between texts. I think now I’ll only go out with her and others so there is other people to talk to.

Scautish · 06/07/2021 23:36

Fuck that. She thinks her time more important than yours.

Yrevocsid · 06/07/2021 23:39

This is why I never shop with anyone. I want to browse, choose my stuff, pay and leave. It's not a socialising experience.

Original poster
spinningaroundthemoon · 06/07/2021 23:43

@Yrevocsid

This is why I never shop with anyone. I want to browse, choose my stuff, pay and leave. It's not a socialising experience.
I mean for you it isn’t and that’s absolutely fine. But I think it’s also ok to accept that for other it is.
OP posts:
Original poster
spinningaroundthemoon · 06/07/2021 23:43

@Scautish

Fuck that. She thinks her time more important than yours.
Yeah I think this is definitely the case.
OP posts:
Original poster
spinningaroundthemoon · 06/07/2021 23:45

@BadLad

Yes, that sounds very annoying.

It's why I much prefer shopping on my own, although some people like to share opinions on outfits they try on.

But IKEA is miserable at the best of times, so it must be hell having to go through it at someone else's pace.

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

Oh well unfortunately I can only afford crap. But oh well I wouldn’t look down on people for their financial limitations.

And as it turns out I guess I did end up shopping on my own anyway.

OP posts:
kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 23:47

Being late is rude.
Making wait even longer is rude.

Having to deal with work? Impossible to know. Sometimes you don't have the choice. If she was stressing out and feeling she was wasting her time with work, she was having a much more unpleasant time than you were.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 06/07/2021 23:48

YANBU

was she bsrefoot in IKEA?

kindaclassy · 06/07/2021 23:49

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

that's just you. Most of us find Ikea absolutely brilliant. As dangerous as the isle of crap in Aldi, but you can find great stuff.

You really don't know what you are missing!

Lalliella · 07/07/2021 00:01

@BadLad

Yes, that sounds very annoying.

It's why I much prefer shopping on my own, although some people like to share opinions on outfits they try on.

But IKEA is miserable at the best of times, so it must be hell having to go through it at someone else's pace.

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

Snob!
Lalliella · 07/07/2021 00:01

YANBU OP, your friend was very rude.

Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear · 07/07/2021 00:13

Your friend was rude. You should bring it up with her!

As for the person who said it sells crap - I've bought some really good stuff in there before. It was handy when I lived 5mins drive from the Croydon one..

whatkatydid2013 · 07/07/2021 00:15

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

So why mention it? IKEA sells affordable stuff that while not amazing quality is definitely excellent value for money vs many many other options. Only thing I’ve really found to be any better value for money wise when on a budget is second hand solid wood stuff that needs a bit of TLC.

On the OP your friend was rude but this has been a bizarre year and work/life dividing line has got very blurry for lots of people so I’d probably give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a bad day.

babbaloushka · 07/07/2021 00:16

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

YANBU

was she bsrefoot in IKEA?

You what?
QueenBee52 · 07/07/2021 00:16

@Scautish

Fuck that. She thinks her time more important than yours.

This 🌸🎉

QueenBee52 · 07/07/2021 00:18

@BadLad

Yes, that sounds very annoying.

It's why I much prefer shopping on my own, although some people like to share opinions on outfits they try on.

But IKEA is miserable at the best of times, so it must be hell having to go through it at someone else's pace.

It also sells crap, but that's not the point.

I think we found someone RUDER than your friend 😳

Planty13 · 07/07/2021 00:23

I mean, it deffo seems rude but it sounds like she was having a very stressful day

GintyMcGinty · 07/07/2021 00:30

She was rude on every level.

ohthatbloodycat · 07/07/2021 01:05

It also sells crap, but that's not the point

Superior comments like this, that have nothing to do with the OP, make my fingers twitch.
👋

ElderMillennial · 07/07/2021 03:16

Yes she was rude

PerveenMistry · 07/07/2021 03:57

Your friend was extremely rude. I'd not bother with her again.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 07/07/2021 04:18

I think it depends if this was a one off. If she had to deal with an urgent work issue, I don’t think she was ‘extremely rude’ as others are saying, very occasionally I have to take a call, I have a demanding job and it’s just part of it.

Some people are always late, I have one friend like this and we have a giggle about it. I just crack on with whatever it is we’re supposed to be doing, I don’t think that’s too much of an issue if the rest of the friendship is good.
If your friend is constantly on her phone every time you meet, that’s a different matter and suggests she can’t switch off.

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 07/07/2021 04:37

I also agree it depends on whether this is out of character or typical.

Has she contacted you since you walked off?

I remember many years ago, I visited a good friend and she was just being such a dick and I just walked off and went home. She never bothered to text me and ask if I was ok or apologise for her behaviour, so I never texted her and that was the end of our friendship.

It was sad but what's the point in being friends with someone so self-involved?

IMNOTSHOUTING · 07/07/2021 06:37

Yes she's very rude. Fair enough if there was a genuine emergency at work but in that case you'd be really apologetic, send the email then get on with your trip with your friend. She sounds like she has form for this kind of thing so I wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt.

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