To think friend as rude?

[spinningaroundthemoon]

We planned to meet at a retail park and go to IKEA tonight. She was late, which she always is. I was waiting for around 15 minutes. She then texts to say she was here but needed to go to another shop first as she had to return something.

Anyway we finally go in and then she’s texting or emailing work, dramatically saying how they are trying to get in contact with her. And literally walking 2 steps a minute because she’s so focused on her phone. She said she had no signal to call so I offered her my phone which she just said no it’s fine. Any attempt at conversation was just pointless, like when you just know someone isn’t taking in a word you’re saying - I could have picked up a cushion and had a better chat with it.

I got so fed up that I just walked off - as in the walked at a normal pace rather than her slow steps not saying a word.

Yes depends if she is usually like this. If she is, stop going with her it can't be pleasant.

Doesn’t matter if you were in Fortnums or Poundland, she was still fucking rude. I’d have walked out on her.

Is she normally utterly lovely and this was a jaw-dropping one off?

How did the shopping trip end?

Yes she was very rude.

*Oh well unfortunately I can only afford crap. But oh well I wouldn’t look down on people for their financial limitations.

And as it turns out I guess I did end up shopping on my own anyway.*

A great reply, OP, to a rude post!

Really rude.

I had a friend like this. She would chat to other friends on the phone whilst I was there, at her house. Amazingly rude. She wouldn't do that to everyone. Just the people she had little regard for.

I have disappeared from her life. Perhaps you need to do the same if this is a regular behaviour?

I would have waited a max of 10 minutes then gone to IKEA (which i love) and wouldn't have had the problems with her

I would definitely not have let her faff about walking slowly or going to another shop - i would have gone my own way. And told her why.

Is this a normal way for her to behave?

I have found myself in a similar situation where I know I will be pushing it to be “present” due to work demands but I am so keen to see my friend I don’t want to cancel. I have learnt to cancel if work will be dominating my headspace though.

Yeah I think this was inconsiderate of her. I’d have found a way to show her I was pissed off. I suppose directly confronting the thing you don’t like is the best approach, but I’d have done the same as you and walked off.

What was the purpose of the trip? Was it mutual? If you had asked her to come along for an opinion on your new kitchen / sofa / bed etc she may have agreed out of obligation and her behaviors were resistant and passive aggressive.

My sister will very often only call me when she's driving from one place to another. It's very irritating, as the signal goes, she's not focused ( which is good- I'd rather her be focused on driving!).
I've started saying ' how about we chat when you're not busy'.

Your friend was rude. Is that normal behaviour for her?

This was rude and no matter whether it's usual for her or not she could've contacted you after you walked away. Did she?

Did you say something to her?
If it was unavoidable I'd expect her to apologise for her mind being elsewhere
It's still rude but at least she would have acknowledged it

She was rude.

If I want to do serious shopping as opposed to browsing I like to be on my own. Then I can wander back and forth while making decisions without wondering what someone else wants to do.

Very rude and not a friend.

Pull back.

Yep incredibly rude. Lateness and ignorance whilst in someone's company often go hand in hand. I bet she's also rude to hospitality and retail staff.

Good on you for walking off. Did she try to catch up with you?

I think we need to know about who instigated / arranged the trip - because that sounds like some serious passive aggressive behaviour from someone who really didn’t want to be there.

15 minutes late and she went somewhere else first? I'd have been gone at that alone. Very rude to leave someone waiting.

@SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy

I think we need to know about who instigated / arranged the trip - because that sounds like some serious passive aggressive behaviour from someone who really didn’t want to be there.

It was mutual we both have fairly recently bought new houses and kept saying we should do a trip to IKEA. She text me to arrange and I said whatever day works better for her and that was the day she picked.

Has she been in contact since it happened?

If she hated Ikea, doesn't like shopping with friends or had some reason she didn't want to be there she had the option of telling OP that and suggesting a different trip, or just saying she's busy and can't go. Unbelievably rude to make an arrangement to meet then show up and behave so badly.

I wouldn’t bother doing anything with her again. She clearly thinks she’s more important than you.