Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching my DD to ride a bike

99 replies

Dav3nport · 06/07/2021 21:50

Aibu?

If you asked Grandparents not to take stabilisers off the bike because you wanted to do it, but then 3 months later you receive a video from them with the stabilers off and bike riding with no conversation having happened.
I had my heart set on this and I have been getting DD's psychological buy in over time.
Their justification is they didn't know / didn't remember, and what's the big deal anyway.

OP posts:
NewallKnowall · 06/07/2021 22:56

You wouldn't have a video if you were doing it....

I have no fond memories of teaching them to ride a bike - the stress, the back pain, the stropping, the tears...

I'd have happily outsourced that.

My parents never taught me, we learned by hanging out with a gang of kids on the road and trying out whatever someone offered us a go on. I knew I could ride a bigger bike when I'd been on Anna's from number 3 etc. I'm sure our parents didn't turn everything into an 'event' and photograph and record everything, and we are none the worse off for it.

Try and take joy and pride in what your child has achieved, and let the rest go.

Blueskythinking123 · 06/07/2021 23:10

I found out my them four year old Dd could ride without stabeirlizers

1starwars2 · 06/07/2021 23:11

YABU
Take her cycling at the weekend.

Blueskythinking123 · 06/07/2021 23:11

Staberlisers at nursery parents evening. I was delighted!!

22Giraffes · 06/07/2021 23:14

Can they teach my ds? Seriously we have tried so many techniques and I've roped in friends and family and nothing. It ends in tears every time, it's the bane of my life and I would be eternally grateful for anyone who managed to teach him.

yikesanotherbooboo · 06/07/2021 23:19

OP , think clearly, would you genuinely want your child and care givers to hold back or pretend so that you could be there for your child's first jump/ words/ slide down the side/ taste of ice cream/ width of the pool/ steps etc. Be pleased for your child's achievement and for the pleasure it has given the GPS. Don't be mean .

likeafishneedsabike · 06/07/2021 23:24

Lesson learned. If your kids tells you they are ready for something then do it on your next day off. Don’t procrastinate.

Coffeeisnecessary · 06/07/2021 23:25

First ds, got taught by grandparents, he found it easy. second ds we paid for lessons after years of him refusing for us. He can do it now finally at the age of 8 but doesn't want to!! It was a massive pain in the arse trying to teach him ourselves! I get your frustration if there is a back story, but just be proud she's mastered it without you having to get the back ache!

jendifer · 06/07/2021 23:26

Are we missing a backstory?

Kitkat151 · 06/07/2021 23:37

@EmJay19

I’d be gutted
How many kids have you taught to ride a bike?🙄
LizzieW1969 · 06/07/2021 23:42

I’m guessing that there must be a backstory here. Because if not then your reaction makes no sense at all. Surely it’s exciting for your DD that she’s learned to ride a bike, regardless of who was with her at the crucial time?

But maybe your parents have form for overstepping boundaries and this is why you’ve reacted in this way?

JockTamsonsBairns · 06/07/2021 23:47

But maybe your parents have form for overstepping boundaries and this is why you’ve reacted in this way

It'll be the parents-in-law. You mark my words.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 07/07/2021 06:37

Round our way kids riding a bike doesn't seem a big deal any more so yabu. They just have balance bikes and then somewhere around age 4 swap to a pedal bike, there's no stabilizers or teaching involved. DS took about an hour to get the hang of pedals, it was underwhelming!

ChairOnToast · 07/07/2021 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

gingerbiscuits · 07/07/2021 07:01

@ChairOnToast

“psychological buy in”? It’s just riding a bike. I think you’re over thinking this.
Yep! You do sound pretty intense. If you psyche her up to that extent for every little thing, you're setting both of you up for a miserable time of it.

Unless the grandparents have form for repeatedly taking over & doing things to annoy you, then I genuinely couldn't get upset about this- just celebrate & enjoy family bike rides!

Mistyplanet · 07/07/2021 07:03

My 2 year old can ride a bike without stabilizers. Had a balance bike before that. Some kids can just master it quickly. Hardly any effort required on my part.

JazzerMcCreary · 07/07/2021 07:32

@ElArco

I would not even consider that they have done anything wrong, kids don't need all of these 'firsts' and milestones. Your DD just wants to ride her bike. Good lass!
100% this.

I’d just be pleased she could ride and was having a good time.

BarbarianMum · 07/07/2021 07:41

Well done Misty, you must be so proud. Not all children are as incredibly talented though.

HarrisMcCoo · 07/07/2021 07:47

@KindergartenKop

Teaching them to ride a bike is a bit of a pain in the arse. I'd be pleased I'd dodged that particular bullet.
Definitely this! Had DS3 out last week attempting to ride his big brother's bike - he just isn't getting it so it's now back in the shed. Older siblings were out cycling beside him but he isn't ready yet. Wish someone else would get him cycling!

Be thankful OP that you didn't have to go through it.

kowari · 07/07/2021 07:48

Why hold the child back for three months? Also agree with others, stabilisers slow down the process and are unnecessary. DS was three, balance bike then pedal bike, never had stabilisers.

Dustyhedge · 07/07/2021 07:50

If they cracked it in a few hours you obviously didn’t need to spend 3 months trying to get psychological buy-in. You sounds like you were over egging the whole thing and building it up.

HarrisMcCoo · 07/07/2021 07:51

@22Giraffes

Can they teach my ds? Seriously we have tried so many techniques and I've roped in friends and family and nothing. It ends in tears every time, it's the bane of my life and I would be eternally grateful for anyone who managed to teach him.
Your son will get it eventually. One of my sons was out playing with friends, they encouraged him to have a shot on one of their bikes and lo and behold he just started pedalling! No pressure from a parent probably helped here. I think we had tried months before but just left it when we realised it just wasn't clicking.
lollipoprainbow · 07/07/2021 07:51

Considering my dd only knew her grandparents for a short time before they died or got poorly I'd be overjoyed if they had been there to teach her to ride a bike Hmm

HarrisMcCoo · 07/07/2021 07:53

I haven't used stabilisers on bikes. Just encouraged them to pedal and if they don't get it, put bike away for a bit rather than putting any pressure on. Can always try again when older.

DS1 was 7yo when he got the hang of it. DS2 was around same age.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 07/07/2021 07:54

Why 3 months with stabilisers! No wonder the grandparents took them off ... that’s the sort of thing you crack in an afternoon/weekend.