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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching my DD to ride a bike

99 replies

Dav3nport · 06/07/2021 21:50

Aibu?

If you asked Grandparents not to take stabilisers off the bike because you wanted to do it, but then 3 months later you receive a video from them with the stabilers off and bike riding with no conversation having happened.
I had my heart set on this and I have been getting DD's psychological buy in over time.
Their justification is they didn't know / didn't remember, and what's the big deal anyway.

OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 06/07/2021 22:16

I would have been made up someone else had done it! Honestly I really would.... I taught 3 of mine to ride bikes and it’s hard graft and painful and very stressful

mistermagpie · 06/07/2021 22:18

I'd be delighted, you're making something out of nothing.

Dishwashersaurous · 06/07/2021 22:19

Spanglemum, ironically although I totally understand and believe in balance bikes my kids never mastered them.

PeonyTime · 06/07/2021 22:22

If she was ready, it's really not a big thing. Took about 10 mins for DS1, aged less than 4. DS2 took about 30 mins aged 4 and a bit.
You know for next time: dont procrastinate if DD is ready for something, go for it.
Enjoy cycling with her!

viques · 06/07/2021 22:22

Well if you thought the stabilisers were ready to come off three months ago why didn’t you take them off then?

ThatWouldBeEnough · 06/07/2021 22:23

YAB massively U.

You wanted to do it, but hadn’t. Your DD was obviously ready so if you’d wanted to do it yourself you should have done it sooner.

SaucyHorse · 06/07/2021 22:26

I'm not sure children need to be psychologically prepared for bike riding? I sympathise as I loved seeing my kids take their first independent rides on a pedal bike, but really you should just have got on with it if you felt she had the physical ability to do it.
The best time to remove stabilisers is immediately and better to never put them on at all.

lunar1 · 06/07/2021 22:28

What's a psychological buy in?

Cattitudes · 06/07/2021 22:31

One of the most frustrating things I have ever had to do is teaching them to ride a bike.

Macncheeseballs · 06/07/2021 22:32

God, teaching kids to cycle is one of the most back breaking parts of parenthood, I'd be delighted

SaucyHorse · 06/07/2021 22:35

Also I'm sure you can have plenty of fun left shouting 'pull the brakes!', teaching her how to do proper stops and starts, encouraging up hills etc. She won't have mastered all cycling skills in one go - pedalling independently is the main one but there will be lots of fine tuning left to do, in my experience.

BarbarianMum · 06/07/2021 22:35

@lunar1

What's a psychological buy in?
I think that's the bit when you know they can do it but they are scared and dont want to try. I got over this stage by lying (no, I promise not to let go - look you are doing it)
BiscuitsNoMore · 06/07/2021 22:39

How old is the dc

I taught my Dsd when she was 7! well along with dh but she kept saying daddy would let go too soon (he wouldn't he was more nervous than her)

Her dm went mad as she kept saying she'd do it... For over 2 years! The abuse I got was unbelievable, The reality was, she never was going to she had plenty of time and she was jealous.

MikeHat · 06/07/2021 22:40

Stabilisers delay the whole thing. Just lower the seat so they can scoot and they're away.

MimsyBorogroves · 06/07/2021 22:40

I'd have paid anyone to teach both my kids to ride. Literally years of stress.

Not natural athletes, my offspring.

BiscuitsNoMore · 06/07/2021 22:40

I wish my parents would offer to teach my 3 year old who is insistent that stabilisers are for babies.. She's only confident in the garden but not enough space... Get to a park and it's back breaking hell.

TokenGinger · 06/07/2021 22:41

I'd be thrilled DS had learnt to ride a bike! I wouldn't care who had taught him.

I learnt how to ride a bike very quickly when my older brother put me on his and pushed me and left me peddling with no clue how to stop 😂 He had to run down the street to catch me. I'm sure my dad was pleased he got out of that one!

Moomala · 06/07/2021 22:44

I see where you are coming from I be a bit annoyed if it was something I wanted to do. But you should be proud that your child has passed this milestone and not let it sour the experience. I would imagine some toddlers walk for the first time without parents it can just happen.

DeRigueurMortis · 06/07/2021 22:44

I sort of understand where you are coming from but tbh when kids are ready to ride they just know it.

Honestly this is a far better outcome than hours and hours (weeks?) of you "preparing" your child.

Tbh I'd also agree stabilisers are counter productive.

Balance bike first then a bike with removable pedals. It's pretty obvious when they've "got it sussed" when they don't ever use stabilisers.

Hercisback · 06/07/2021 22:46

You sound intense. She can ride a bike, that's the main thing. How come you haven't ridden for 3 months?

EmJay19 · 06/07/2021 22:46

I’d be gutted

Eatenpig · 06/07/2021 22:48

Why haven't you done it for 3 months then? It's been spring. Mine never had stabilisers thank god. Balance bike then pedal bike age 3. So much easier

lakesummer · 06/07/2021 22:49

My dsis and bil had to step in and teach my pair, it is a total pain.
I understand you had a vision in your head but honestly they did you a favor.

ElArco · 06/07/2021 22:49

I would not even consider that they have done anything wrong, kids don't need all of these 'firsts' and milestones. Your DD just wants to ride her bike. Good lass!

jelly79 · 06/07/2021 22:49

I had my heart set on this and I have been getting DD's psychological buy in over time.

What is this? And how did you get it?

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