To bump this car out of the way?

[GenericUsername404]

Every Monday I need to get my van out to pick up my dc from school and take them to their club. Other days I use my car but on Mondays it’s kayaking so I need the van until a place in the kayak storage becomes available. My van is 20year old and very bashed.

Every Monday at 2.30 a brand new Volvo parks directly opposite my drive, in front of my neighbours dropped kerb. When they park here I can get my car out but not my van meaning my dc cannot go to their club which I have already paid for. I know they are inside the house opposite, I knock on the door but they don’t answer but then when I’m attempting to manoeuvre my van out I see them peeping out of the window. I put a note through the door a couple of weeks ago asking them not to do it after they still wouldn’t open the door. They put a note back through mine saying they were parking in front of their dropped kerb, they were entitled to and many others on the road did the same. This is true but I am the only house on my side of the street so no one else has anyone else opposite. I’ve also put a sign on my gate saying please do not park opposite

Having again had to carefully get the car out and not be able to get my kids to their club I’m thinking next week I’ll just bump it. I’m pretty sure I could get out with a couple of touches to their car but it would probably leave dents.

I’ve tried calling the police to say I’m blocked in but by the time they arrived neighbours friend had moved their car and when the police knocked they hid again 🙄

Btw I know I’m unreasonable and I almost certainly won’t do it. I’m just bloody pissed off.

inthesameboat2 as I’ve said several times - the diagram is not to scale. In reality it is about 1m between drives, not enough for a smart car to park.

Sorry inthesameboat I misunderstood. If I parked there I’d be doing to the (nice) neighbours opposite exactly what the Volvo is doing to me.

They are twats. If they were not twats they would come out when you knock and move for a couple of minutes.

Not sure what you can do though except keep calling police.

Nice diagram too!

In all seriousness I'm in agreement with the poster who said to pull out, half wedge yourself into the road, hand on the horn and cause mayhem.

Theres no way I would continue to miss a paid for activity every week because of some selfish shit. I would make it a total drama so it finally becomes their issue and not yours.

I cannot believe they don't let you get out of your own drive.

Next week if you can afford the time I would wait outside their drive just to beg mercy one final time before going nuclear.

I was thinking the same. Added bonus if you can use sound effects, thud, scrape

Yes if they are watching you , get out and examine the front of your van closely When they come running out to see what damage you've done say
"Oh I thought next door's cat ran into my van/ a seagull flew into my side.............but while you're here , you can bloody shift your motor ! ".

@LittleNibbler

As a Cornwall-dwelling van owner, I do sympathise...it’s ridiculous that they won’t discuss with you at all, very petty. However I don’t think you can out a sign up telling people not to park opposite you IF it’s legal (jury seems to be out on that one?). Have you contacted the council? Maybe you need to sit there with your horn on? Or bang on their door and tell them it’s an emergency and if they don’t move you’ll call the police and do so, repeatedly until they get the message. The issue here isn’t that they park there, it’s that they just need to move it when you need to get out. Did you make that clear in the note you sent them or did you just say they can’t park there? X

@LittleNibbler the jury is not out on whether it's legally parked the police have said it isn't!!! So it isn't legally parked 🙄

If any of your DC are in single figures, could they attempt to persuade the neighbours. Ask your youngest DC to write the neighbours a letter explaining where they go on a Monday and how much fun they have kayaking. They could even draw a picture of themselves kayaking. From the mouths of babes might change their attitude.

Email images every time it happens to your council parking department ( Our area will send the camera car out or let them know and they do your area) You get a ticket parked over ANY DROPPED curb, even your own!

Once they have had a ticket or two they will stop!

@GenericUsername404

Not to scale

I don’t have any advice but excellent diagram Op.

Knock continuously till they lose their minds?
Sling their front door open and yell "helloooooooooooo! Is anybody home???"
Bray the horn repeatedly until they come out?

Just remember, be super nice and over friendly and toothy smile widely when talking to them, but stern at the same time, so you look super crazed, you'll terrify them into either using the park and ride or maybe even moving house 🤣
Oh and don't forget the "are you thick" head tilt.

I'd call the police every single time. Without fail.

I can imagine the scenario, having been a tourist trying to drive around beautiful little villages down that way (sorry, sorry, I live in a tourist area too so karma often gets me - in a caravan) and my blood pressure is rising at the thought… I’m with the poster who suggests leaning on the horn. And I’d also take a photo of the car - every single time. And maybe shame them on the local Facebook page, if your village is like mine… ‘Does anyone know why this car belongs to, it keeps blocking me in…’ Our parish council love dealing with that sort of thing.

Fantabulous diagram though. Just top class.

No worries 🙂

Ok, thanks for the clarification.

I get it now, so although you technically could, you won't, because unlike your directly opposite neighbour you are considerate as the space between driveways on the opposite side isn't enough to fit in a car on your side without them being in the same position you are in now.

In that case, If it's possible to park directly in front of your drive with your van and only inconvenience twat neighbour, I would do that (even if it wasn't on a Monday) ...just do it when they're out...a few times being inconvenienced themselves should do the trick. 😉

Most parking issues are now handled by local councils and not the police. Local councils (or ours does) will issue a fine based on a photograph sent in by anyone. I have a friend who lives opposite a school and is getting all the parents fined, who park on double yellow lines. Parking over a dropped kerb or white H markings is also illegal.

@FuckUcuntychops

As far as I’m aware it’s illegal to park across a dropped curb even if it’s your own.

Whenever we applied to our council to drop our curbs we were told it doesn't prevent anyone parking in front of them as people are still allowed to park on the road, you can't monopolise the space. IIRC I think you're only not allowed if there is a car on the drive that you're blocking. If there's no car then it's OK. (On my road where its street parking only, and within my council rules)

Sneakily fling a handful of birdfood onto the roof of their shiney new motor .
The amount of shit they'll deposit on the windscreen will annoy them.

And it's an Act of God innit , 'cos birds are a natural phenonemum .

Go in your garden up those steep banks and use the wide broadcast method to feed the birds.

Bugger - Cross pist

Post🤣

Is it possible to petition to get double yellow lines across a drive where parking is dangerous/unnecessarily blocks the road - to signify that (as always), this section of road can be driven over but NOT parked on?

Of course you can't crash into a car just because it's in your way.

Especially when it's legally parked.

As annoying as it may be...

@TSSDNCOP

This is like cancel the cheque on meth.

😂😂😂

I like the idea of a traffic warden. Or persuading a PCSO to come and give them a telling off. It’s either of those or colliding with the car… accidentally.

Wait until they go out one day then park across their drive with your van and leave it there until kayaking day. Police have already given you the information that while they shouldn't block you in, blocking someone's empty drive isn't a problem. Hopefully you'll only have to do it once.

Oooh this would make me see red
I absolutely would bash their car 'accidentally' and I'd make it a good one as well! Worth the insurance claim imo.