To bump this car out of the way?

[GenericUsername404]

Every Monday I need to get my van out to pick up my dc from school and take them to their club. Other days I use my car but on Mondays it’s kayaking so I need the van until a place in the kayak storage becomes available. My van is 20year old and very bashed.

Every Monday at 2.30 a brand new Volvo parks directly opposite my drive, in front of my neighbours dropped kerb. When they park here I can get my car out but not my van meaning my dc cannot go to their club which I have already paid for. I know they are inside the house opposite, I knock on the door but they don’t answer but then when I’m attempting to manoeuvre my van out I see them peeping out of the window. I put a note through the door a couple of weeks ago asking them not to do it after they still wouldn’t open the door. They put a note back through mine saying they were parking in front of their dropped kerb, they were entitled to and many others on the road did the same. This is true but I am the only house on my side of the street so no one else has anyone else opposite. I’ve also put a sign on my gate saying please do not park opposite

Having again had to carefully get the car out and not be able to get my kids to their club I’m thinking next week I’ll just bump it. I’m pretty sure I could get out with a couple of touches to their car but it would probably leave dents.

I’ve tried calling the police to say I’m blocked in but by the time they arrived neighbours friend had moved their car and when the police knocked they hid again 🙄

Btw I know I’m unreasonable and I almost certainly won’t do it. I’m just bloody pissed off.

This thread though 😂

Amazing diagram
Ridiculous neighbours
And "park across your own drive" has become the new "cancel the cheque"

I honestly never knew so few people read the thread!

Nowhere to park van at either school or kayak club unfortunately - school is just a drive through drop off zone and kayak club is just a slipway into the sea.

pegboardsu thanks! I’m slightly stressed after reading the same response about a hundred times though.

theinlylivingboyinnewcross I can understand people not reading the full thread. I though people always at least read the first 2-3 posts by the OP though. Clearly not.

To be fair as long as you exchange details with the owner of the car or property you hit it's not a police matter... 🤷🏻‍♀️

So if you are desperately trying to manoeuvre your van off your driveway and an illegally parked vehicle gets accidentally dinged and you leave a note with your name and telephone number, no crime.

So it's whether it's worth the insurance palaver.

You might need to practice a bit but personally I’d tie the kayaks loosely to the top of the Micra. Emergency stop at the bottom of your driveway resulting in kayak through Volvo window. Sad face while telling the car owners that’s precisely why you really need to use the van.

Can you kayak down the slopes op? Straight into their front yard? Then scream "HOW CAN I LEARN TO KAYAK THIS WAY"

I know your head must be hurting OP and mine is too a little bit, but I’ve got to try and ask this, because it’s driving me potty:

WHY does the presence of STEEP BANKS prevent you parking across the entrance to your drive?

-Is it because your CF neighbour is actually parking half on the pavement so your van would fill the road and require cars to drive round you on the pavement?

-Is it because the road is a one way street, and you’d have to park with your drivers door unable to open against the steep bank, requiring an unladylike clamber over the gearstick to exit the passenger side?

-Is it because your nice neighbours would then be unable to get THEIR cars off the driveway because your van is occupying the swing space?

-Is it because the Bank Troll will eat the tyres off your van, then rendering you unable to drive to kayaking?

Thank you in advance.

boblemon both my car and van are longer than the width of my drive, meaning if I were to park across it in the way neighbour parks across her dropped kerb 2 wheels would have to be bumped up onto the grass. This wouldn’t be much of a problem if it was just a flat, grass verge but it’s not. It’s a steep bank meaning that the wheels needing to be bumped up onto the grass would be about a metre higher than the road.

I actually think the "filter" posts options on threads now contributes to people not reading the fucking thread. I also think people should be banned after three strikes of doing it (like FWR )

Anyway. I think putting the nose of your van out and blocking traffic whilst leaning on your horn is the best way to do it, but I also like the idea of kayaking down the steep banks into Hiding Twats drive and/or car. Do you wear helmets to kayak?

We need a diagram with the kayaks on please

You have far more patience than me 😂 let us know if they bother to reply. Failing that, watch for the visitor to arrive and pounce on them explaining the situation and that if they continue to park there you will call the police again. They might be completely oblivious to the problem if the neighbours are so unhelpful. So put the problem on the visitor and I bet they won’t want to keep coming round.

I'm regularly blocked in where I live so that I'm late getting my DC because of testy Parker's who feel they have more right to block me in than slightly inconvenience themselves.

Could you park your Micra there on Monday morning, use your van for the day and then at kayak time move your Micra to give you enough room to get van out. Jump out of van, put Micra back over their drive or into your drive? Then drive away revving loudly and honking your horn?

Or...carry kayaks down your drive, fasten them carefully to the roof of the Volvo with some locking bungees, and if Nightmare Neighbours come out to protest say innocently that you surmised their.visitors must be kindly going to give you a lift down there since you can't get your own vehicle out?

www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/motorhome-stuck-narrow-cornish-lane-5607336 just seen this! You need to wedge them in!! Then the paper will get involved and you can be all..I've been asking them for ages to not park illegally?! I've been nice and sent notes..even the police have had a word with them and unfortunately now I'm wedged in the road!!

Where the help were the trying to take that motor home? The signs say no parking, no access for side vehicles etc. Were they planning to just park and stay overnight illegally? Serves them right.

mitchiejen123 they should have just parked it across their own drive

You need to use cable ties to attach some skateboards to the kayaks - one at each end and give your children some punting poles so they can stand in their kayaks and punt to the kayak port. You can follow behind in your car so you have somewhere to sit during the lesson then if the children get tired on the way home you can attach them to back of your call and pull them home.

Also have you thought about parking across your own drive

*car not call

@GenericUsername404

mitchiejen123 they should have just parked it across their own drive

Have you thought to do that?

have they responded to the note at all? I'm honestly cross for you! Such a weird passive aggressive thing for them to do!

Buy some of the 'illegal parking' stickers you can buy online that are extra sticky and hard to get off and put them over the drivers side of the windscreen next time they park there. Repeat every time it is parked there.

Crawl across the road wearing a balaclava when placing the sticker to avoid detection.

https://stickers4.com/products/parked-illegally-super-sticky?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgpGcmp7Y8QIVhLHtCh0qlgFxEAAYASAAEgKavDD_BwE

Just parking this across the post 🛶 in hope for an update this afternoon!

Is 'park across your drive' the new 'cancel the cheque'?
I like the skateboard/kayak/punt option!

Buy a pair of inflatable kayaks and transport them in the Nissan.

Fwiw OP my husband actually did ram our neighbour’s car out of the way when they parked in front of our garage. It was highly satisfying. They are still parking like twats ten years later, but at least they answer the door when we ring now.

Good luck today.

Good luck, let us know!
It’s a steep bank meaning that the wheels needing to be bumped up onto the grass would be about a metre higher than the road.
You really are not up for a challenge, are you !
Made me think of the sheep that live on steep Welsh hills - will they eventually have lambs with 2 legs shorter than the others?