Damages

[Chocaholic4672]

Last week my 16 year old son, had a few friends over watching the football. I was held up in work and DH stuck in traffic and we were late home.
Things clearly got a bit lairy and they had drunk a few beers and broken some panes of glass on a neighbouring greenhouse.
I apologised and said that the damage would be paid for. My son didn’t do any damage it was his friends but nevertheless I said him and his friends had to work out who was paying what once we knew how much.
The bill comes to approx £50 but the letter says that along with paying for the replacement panes they want compensation paying to a charity and have asked for a donation of £120 and want a receipt as proof of donation.
The boys are 16 and so clearly they won’t be paying it’ll be the parents. I don’t have an issue paying for the damage but compensation as well? AIBU.

They’re being absolutely ridiculous and please tell them to fuck off

Don't think it's necessarily cheeky to ask for compensation but to specify an amount to be donated and to request a receipt is. I'd double the cost of damage to 100, split it between all the friends (including your son) and tell them to do what they want with the 50 compensation you've given.

They can want all they like, but its not happening. Five them the 50 quid and get proof of it (send it under something like 'one off repair' if you use a bank transfer. Or heck, you hire the fix--it guy.

I'd leave them a wee gift basket too for their inconvenience. But 20 quid worth. Don't let them take the piss.

*give them

Is it possible that the damage is not just to glass but also to plants within? I know I would be pretty hacked off if my plants got damaged. The material cost is negligible as they are grown from seed but the labour cost is huge.

I always thought that to get compensation you will have had to suffer some sort of monetary loss, which in this situation they obviously haven't. I think paying for the damage and as a pp says a little gift to say sorry.

I think it is a ridiculous and an odd request from your neighbour.

That's weird. A charity donation feels punitive in this context, rather than compensatory.

And while I'm thinking about it... compensation for what? If the replacement glass is being covered, they are already adequately compensated.

Oh -- and this:

I apologised and said that the damage would be paid for.

Your lad should be doing the apologising, really. Even if he didn't break the glass itself, he was there when it happened and they were his mates.

They’re taking the piss massively. Make sure the boys pay the £50 and have proof of doing so, but that’s it

"Here's your £50 and there won't be any compensation paid to charity as I organise my own discipline".

Which I assume you are going to be doing if 16 year olds think it's acceptable to help themselves to beer, and so much beer as to get lairy.

They might be 16 but of course they can pay. Pocket money, birthday money, sell some things, do some chores.

Less time and money for beer-drinking then.

But no compensation. A nice gift maybe.

But why won’t 16 year olds be paying out of their own money? I bet most 16 year olds have enough money stashed from birthday / Christmas presents for a group of them to be able to cobble together £50 between them.

To be honest OP , if you, and the other parents, are willing to pay for this then I am not surprised your 16 year olds got drunk and threw whatever it was they threw over the fence like the entitled troublemaking vandals they are.

Has more damage been done to the plants as well as the glass? So for example has it destroyed their tomato plants and they have lost their crop for the year, or broken a mature grape vine or fig tree that will take years to recover or damaged a plant with sentimental value? If several panes of glass have been broken that could be a lot of plant damage.

Did the kids offer to go round and clear up or was the neighbour just expected to spend ages picking up broken glass that may have fallen both inside and outside the greenhouse, as well as any damaged pots and plants

I think yabu to assume that covering the glass replacement was sufficient without an aplgy from the culprits themselves and an offer to clear up

They are bu to demand 120 to be paid to charity without some kind of explanation of how they came to that figure which seems pretty steep to me

To be fair i would be pretty fucked off of a group of unsupervised 16 year olds were getting drunk and damaging things in neighbours gardens, they may be wondering if this is hpw the next few years are going to go and trying to nip it in the bud by taking a hard stance now

I suspect they're trying to charge punitive damages because the young drunk thugs have damaged a lot of plants. I'd be mighty pissed off if plants I'd be nurturing for months were harmed like this.

I don’t think it’s odd. To be honest they have got off very lightly. It’s criminal damage. You seem to be playing it down. A criminal conviction or caution now could cause problems for future careers. They should pay from savings or work to pay. They are 16.

Two young teen boys damaged our fence deliberately - kicking panels off. It really upset me I’d been at hospital and came home to that. I reported it to pcso and it’s a small village and they’d been spotted so police found out their names. I didn’t want them charging but police made them attend police station with parent for a stern talking to and write me a letter each apologising and pay for repair (think it was £40 each) Word also got out among local kids and fence (which adjoins park) wasn’t vandalised again.

If you were my neighbour and were rude to me as some posters were suggesting I’d just call police. A good lesson for your son in not standing by whilst friends were committing a crime. I’ve a teen and would be mortified if they behaved like this.

I’d be horrified if drunken idiots broke panes on my greenhouse, and £50 is pretty cheap depending on how many panes. The glass breaks into tiny tiny parts it’s a bugger to clean up unless fully on slabs. Plus the plants possibly damaged via the braking of the glass and whatever caused it or it getting too cold in the greenhouse.

The amount said to be donated to charity does feel slightly cheeky but they should get more than just the panes replaces as the boys expense. As I bet they haven’t gone around and cleaned it up or sourced the place to replace to or check the crops. How long is the wait going to be to replace the glass to?

As their parent I’d make the boys pay with their own savings - how else will they learn...??

The compensation thing is odd but maybe they think that you’re pushovers as parents and want to reduce the chances of it happening again by making the damages punitive...

It's not just the windows though is it, it's the plants inside and the fact that someone had to pick up the broken glass (not easy if shards have ended up in soil).

£170 sounds like they're getting off lightly. Would you prefer the neighbour had got the police round and they were charged with criminal damage?

The compensation thing is odd but maybe they think that you’re pushovers as parents and want to reduce the chances of it happening again by making the damages punitive...

I would assume this too. A decent apology and a promise they'd pay themselves and won't do it again, sincerely and in person, might suffice. But you paying for them with no actual consequences won't.

What nasty little thugs...

Did the brats go around and clear up all the glass and safely dispose of it? Did they profusely apologise to the neighbours?

If not, they should bloody well do what they are asked and give some money to charity if the neighbours spent ages clearing up. And they won't be able to garden happily there anymore due to bits of glass in the soil.

Clearly the neighbours think they have to step in and do a bit of the parenting for you all--very kind of them not to call the police. By the fact you're talking about how YOU are sorting it, at least the neighbours are willing to parent...

Actually ive just totalled up the cost of the plants in my polytunnel if i had to replace a section of them and overall the plants are worth several hundred pounds. Whilst i doubt they damaged all the plants if they did damage some I could see it coming to 120 depending on what they had in there.

It may have been more useful if they included an explanation of how they came to the figure but all in all i think assuming paying for new glass is the only cost is fairly unreasonable.

Plus are they refitting the glass themselves or does the 50 include someone to fit it.

If not then the 120 could break down to

Labour to clean up the mess
Cost of replacement plants, soil pots etc
Cost to refit the glass

Personally i think they deserve to be compensated for all 3 and if they are willing to bear the costs themselves and think something good will come out of it via charity then fair play to them, their only unreasonable action was a lack of clear communication

Of course if its an empty greenhouse and the 50 includes glass fitting then 120 is pretty steep just for the tidy up, unless you missed out that your son did the tidy up.

On balance though, as a keen gardener i think yabu to think giving them 50 for some glass and an apology just from you is sufficient

Are they likely to report your son and his friends for criminal damage? would you want him to risk getting a police caution that would need to be declared on certain types of university applications?

If so, I might think twice about poo-pooing the compensation issue!

They’re being cheeky - asking for compensation like that is ludicrous

Tell them not to be so bloody ridiculous.

It was a genuine what shall I do. Yes I was mortified and furious about the situation and my son went round and picked up all the glass and tidied it up.
Whilst it is next to our garden they are allotments and so I don't know the man whose plot it is.
I phoned the allotment spokesperson. I haven't seen anyone to speak to face to face and neither has my son.
I understand the police were contacted and they felt that as replacement and payment had been offered that was sufficient.
I personally think a better punishment would be for the boys to hell out at the allotment as it's school holidays.