In my opinion

[Oeeeee]

My partner has been worrying and has fear about more covid restrictions being eased and started mentioning things to me. She said she feels scared about another spread of the virus. I had to calm her down because she's just worries a lot about these sort of things, she has felt anxious about all the stages of the easing tbh and I tried to reassure. I showed her stuff but she thinks it will go back up. She has been avoiding going out as much as possible and stuff. Sometimes stop thinking about it and stuff. She sees people going out on social media and this is another thing that makes her anxious. She seems a bit worried as well since hearing about that more easing might happen 19th.

I don't mention this to her but Im the total opposite of my gf, I want to go back to normal and go back to pre covid but my partner is just like wanting to go back to lockdowns and everything. She thinks it's too early to be lifting restrictions and thinks because of the new variants we should be back in lockdown

Bump

No advice but I have friends similar to your GF and it’s infuriating. I’ve started distancing myself from them as I’m fed up with them dictating things that impact me. If they don’t want to go out, fine, but I will not have them controlling me.

Does she want full lockdown or does she want easing based on science and not what makes good headlines? There's a vast amount of options between pre covid (unlikely to happen for a long long time, if ever) and full lockdown.

What’s the AIBU? There will be others like your GF and others like you.

I was the same, until recently when I had my second baby 9 weeks early and I realised that I can't control the world.

I don't think the restrictions should be lifted like they are going to be, but more eased into.

I'm really concerned about gave masks being voluntary. By all means, lift the rest, but leave face masks until we've seen how the lifting of everything else has gone. We know face masks work (even if people choose not to wear them correctly).

Some people still seem overly anxious about this. We need to get back to normal and live our lives. We can’t exist like this forever!!
I’m guessing your GF doesn’t work in the industries which would never recover from full lockdowns even if there was a need for it, which there isn’t.

She wants another full lockdown she thinks it's not safe atm @Orf1abc

Similar here @Zebraaa

I mean is my opinion unreasonable @highfive2021

She's not alone on this. I feel similar. The anxiety and worry over it is really real for her and she can't just turn that feeling off! Personally I agree with and thankfully my dp is similar so I can only imagine what it's like to disagree! You both need to meet somewhere in the middle. Not going too mad but not staying in all the time either.

No

How your partner is feeling is not unusual, Oeeee. There is a certain security in what we know and she has got used to eighteen months of uncertainty and lockdown; now she is afraid of coping with things back to normal. My nephew is the same, before lockdown he had an active career. He has been working from home, obviously seeing less people and decided he really likes it, could do it forever.

Don't push it but your partner will gradually adjust.

OK @maggiesfarm

She has been avoiding going out as much as possible and stuff.

Is she willing for this to be a permanent situation for her - not going out ever again to pubs/restaurants/concerts/leisure/tourist attractions/holidays etc. - because they've all been destroyed?

She's not BU to be anxious, but her anxiety is unsustainable and can't be allowed to dictate how (the vast majority of) other people live their lives. She just has to do what she can/chooses for herself - i.e. refrain from going to whatever establishment/facility she fears until she believes it to be safe (if ever); but she as an individual is no more or less important than anybody else and their desires/needs.

Don't forget also, that, whilst a lot of people's poor MH is making them panicky and terrified about restrictions being relaxed/removed, other people's poor MH situations have been seriously worsened by all of the restrictions - some to the point of even taking their own lives.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll no, she just tries to tell me to not go out unless essential so I think that helps but I went to the pub and she got a bit upset with me. She was in a mood with me, she kicked me out of the house (we live with my parents) I went back to try and get in but she was shouting from the upstairs window when I was on the driveway trying to get in she was screaming for me to go away. She was getting angry with me because she was thinking I could pick the virus up. So we argued from there and we decided I will avoid going out unless essential. Also I think the vaccine will help her fear

Ok well she shouldn't be yelling at you. But you are both clearly missmatched in your views so need to give each other a bit of understanding.

@MouldyPotato yes, I just feel silly that we have different opinions I thought she was excited like me about more rules being eased but no

Does she have some sort of health anxiety or anxiety disorder in general?

If she is so very worried that she is becoming angry through either fear or panic, this probably isn't going to go away by itself.

It's natural to feel worried about what might happen as lockdown is lifted but unless she has a significant health risk, her worry is severely affecting her life.

See if you can encourage her to talk to her GP or local taking therapies service.

It's just this pandemic @soapboxqueen she doesn't really get like this over anything else. I know people getting down about lockdowns but she gets like that about lockdown being lifted

Have you both had covid vaccines ?

Do you both work ?

You can go out
Social distance
Use hand sanitizer
Use masks
Can go to the pub & restaurants outside

She can't dictate what you can do

Life is far too short

I'm dreading no masks at work as I work in a fairly small building with high foot traffic and no real ventilation. I'm the main carer for my mum and do a lot of childcare for my sister so catching Covid would have a massive impact. I'm also pretty anxious about how ill I'd be with it as I've only had one dose of vaccine.

My normal life I'm more relaxed about because I have much more control over who and how I interact with people.

Also dreading the abuse we're bound to get if my employer decides to still require masks to come in - I got called a Nazi yesterday for asking someone to put their mask over their nose and it isn't the worst thing I've been called so far. 🤷🏻‍♀️😣

Not yet but yes she can't dictate. She still has a right to be mad with me though for going out so I don't because last time she kicked me out. (we live with my parents) I went back to try and get in but she was shouting from the upstairs window when I was on the driveway trying to get in she was screaming for me to go away. @Ramble3Ark

I think it's reasonable for everyone to stick to what they are comfortable with doing, but there is no easy answer when sharing a living space with someone. If I lived with my mum, who is vulnerable, I'd still be avoiding pubs for example, but as DH and I are vaccinated I'd be extremely pissed off if he tried to stop me coming back in my own house!

@Ellpellwood we aren't yet but probably getting it soon.