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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you tell now?

48 replies

boobydilemma · 04/07/2021 21:54

I am a long time mumsnet member but have name changed for this. I am interested in opinions on the following scenario as I am in a terrible dilemma about what I should do for the best. I have 6 adult children and 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time our 3 youngest children were at University - 2 of them were about to graduate as doctors. The cancer was a rare one and had already spread to the axillary lymph nodes . To cut a long story short this particular cancer [mucinous] apparently didn't respond well to chemo so I was advised that surgery and more extensive radiotherapy than normal would hopefully sort it out. I made the decision not to tell our children as I just couldn't face dropping a bomb like that into our family at the time although of course there is never a good time to deliver such news. The back story to that was that DH had had cancer 7 years previously and I really struggled to deal with DH at the same time as propping up all the children who were absolutely devastated let alone sorting my own feelings, needs etc. Thankfully, against all odds DH survived and the AC are still very protective of him and very watchful of his lifestyle/diet etc. to this day. I just knew that DH wouldn't be able to cope with it all let alone offer the AC's the necessary emotional support and I really wasn't in the right frame of mind either so it just seemed easier to keep it all a secret and for DH and I to just deal with it on our own. I attended one DD's graduation 2 days after surgery with 2 drains tucked in my knickers! So, I went through all the treatment without them knowing or suspecting a thing. Unfortunately it wasn't all plain sailing as the radiotherapy I had was extended up to my neck and destroyed my thyroid gland so I was quite unwell for some time afterwards until the problem was identified and I was prescribed levothyroxine for that. I then had a torn rotator cuff in the shoulder on the same side and needed surgery for that. The latest development is that I have now been diagnosed with lymphedema in the arm of the removed lymph glands and I think it is only a matter of time before one of the kids notices the swelling as there is quite a noticeable difference in the size of my two arms and hands. I'd just like to say at this point that the cancer wasn't one of the genetic types so it wasn't imperative for the girls to know from that point of view. Thank you if you've read this far. I'd be really interested to know how you would feel in this scenario if you were one of my adult DC's? I'm just so worried about hurting them but feel that I might need to tell them the truth now.

OP posts:
TaraR2020 · 04/07/2021 22:05

Yes, its time to tell them. Let them be there for you.

I'm so sorry for all you have been through, are you free of Cancer now? Flowers

Notimeforaname · 04/07/2021 22:16

I'm so sorry you've been having such a difficult time opFlowers
Yes..please tell your children. I would be devastated if my mother kept this from me and I couldn't help support her.

shivawn · 04/07/2021 22:34

Tell them, they sound like great kids and you deserve to have the support! I'm sure they'll understand why you kept it to yourself at the time.

JustATypo · 04/07/2021 22:37

Of course you need to tell them, I’d be hugely hurt and upset if my mother had gone through all this already and not told me, tell them now.

IncyWincy21 · 04/07/2021 22:38

I'm very sorry for what you have been through Thanks
It's now time to tell them.

buckeejit · 04/07/2021 22:44

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Tell them. Tell them you've been going though it all this time & they'll be upset but also in awe at how you're coping & for Gods sake, lean on them a bit now & be careful for.

warmfluffytowels · 04/07/2021 22:44

I'm sorry for what you've been through Thanks

But yes, you must tell your children. I would be very hurt to find out my mum had kept a cancer diagnosis from me, though - I think you do need to be prepared for that.

buckeejit · 04/07/2021 22:44

*Be cared for

Welshflowerpower · 04/07/2021 22:48

Tell them. I’m almost 30 and would be upset (also angry?) if my mum kept this from me but obviously supporting her would be my main concern and I’d keep those feelings inside.

Isanyholeagoal · 04/07/2021 22:55

I’m sorry you are going through this OP.
My dad has lived with cancer for 11 years and has recently been told it has spread and is very serious. We have been through every step with him. I would be terribly hurt and upset if this had been kept from me. You are not protecting your children by not telling them, they are adults who can and will deal with the news and be there for you.

I wish you well.

kurstytemple · 04/07/2021 22:59

Yes tell your children. They would want to know and support you and their dad the best they can, I would want to know if it were my mum. You sound like a lovely mum and wife Thanks

boobydilemma · 04/07/2021 23:03

Thank you so much all of you for reading my very long post and taking the trouble to respond and sending flowers and good wishes.
Yes, I am cancer free so far and on hormone treatment [Anastrazole] for another 2 years. Just having annual mammograms now.
I'm not really surprised that you are saying you would be upset and angry. This is what I was worried about. My DC are everything to me and I wouldn't hurt them for the world. They are all lovely, kind people and we are very proud of them but I am beside myself about having to do this to them. DH says it's up to me to decide and he will of course support my decision whatever that is.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 04/07/2021 23:09

Tell them and explain why you felt it was best not to tell them before.
As an adult child I would respect that decision and want nothing more than to be led by my parents wishes and needs.
Wish you all the best op Flowers

BurtonHouse · 04/07/2021 23:09

You love your kids and have supported and cared for them throughout their childhoods and into their adult lives. Please don't deprive them of the opportunity to support you when you need it: that might appear to show that you didn't have faith in them.

LemonRoses · 04/07/2021 23:17

I’ve been in quite a similar situation and decided not to tell the children immediately because of public exams. When I did tell them, they were cross I’d been dishonest by omission but also said they were hugely relieved because they knew I wasn’t telling them the truth and inevitably thought it was far worse than it was.
If they’re medics, they aren’t stupid and probably have a pretty good idea.
You are entitled to your privacy, but there may be a cost. Not an insurmountable cost, but a cost nevertheless.

Incidentally, my lymphedema (from multiple DVTs on chemo) settled quite quickly. Swimming breaststroke helped enormously. I have some hideous sleeve things but never use them now. One arm is a different colour and slightly different size, but nobody ever notices.

LemonRoses · 04/07/2021 23:20

I had to get them to agree not to turn me into some sort of sufferer in need of support - they just accepted and moved on. I think laying down your rules about whether you want support or not is hugely important.

boobydilemma · 04/07/2021 23:20

@Isanyholeagoal I'm so sorry to hear about your darling Dad and hope you get to spend lots more time together. I know you are right but I did what I truly believed to be the right thing at the time. Now I know that I must face up to what I did, fix it and deal with the consequences. I'm thinking about how best to tell them - one at a time or all together?

OP posts:
fourandnomore · 04/07/2021 23:25

I completely understand your decision and would totally respect that as your child. My mum was in a situation where she hid a worrying medical situation from me and my siblings and she told me after it was all sorted out. I wouldn’t say I felt hurt, more bad that I hadn’t known so hadn’t been able to support her but I was very glad she’d told me then and also that she now has someone to be open with when it all comes up again (ongoing checks).
I think if you explain to your children as articulately as you have here they will understand. I also think that if they don’t immediately and are upset, they have each other to discuss it with and hopefully that will help them to accept the situation.
You sound like such a lovely mum and I am so sorry you’ve been through such a difficult time but you should definitely tell the kids and give them the opportunity to be there for you.
Wishing you well and that the love and support of your family helps Flowers

MiddlesexGirl · 04/07/2021 23:27

All together if at all possible - otherwise you run the risk of some being upset they were told later than others.
I believe you did the right thing and hopefully your DC will too.

fourandnomore · 04/07/2021 23:30

In answer to your question I would tell them together. You can gauge their reactions, pack mentality may go in your favour, no awkwardness about some knowing and some not. I think it will be a much more open communication and a united process if you are all together as a family. I hope you are surrounded by love and support from them. It may feel overwhelming and like you are making a big thing of it but it honestly is a big thing and acknowledging that and working towards what you need now may benefit from a single family conversation.

skyfullofstars · 04/07/2021 23:31

Great news you are now cancer free. My mum always put others before herself and when she had cancer kept her symptoms to herself until it was too late. I had 3 weeks from diagnosis to her passing away. I found it very hurtful that she kept it from me at first, and I still feel bad that I didn't realise (I lived away) but I do understand that she didn't want me to give up my life for her. I'm sure they will understand so I would tell them now.

boobydilemma · 04/07/2021 23:33

@LemonRoses thank you, it's good to know I'm not the only one! Yes the medics amongst them know about the underactive thyroid but not the cause, ditto the rotator cuff injury - again probably caused by the radio but they just thought it was a sports injury. [I play tennis a lot.]. I guess I'm the family "fixer" and generally run everything so I'm not used to the boot being on the other foot. I'm pretty sure my doc DD4 will be FURIOUS with me and DD2 and DD3 will just be very upset and teary. DS will be upset but will confide in his sisters. DD5 will keep how she feels to herself but will be generally concerned about me forever more. Really don't know about DD1 - she has L.D's which makes matters a bit more difficult as she has limited understanding and foresight.

OP posts:
LemonRoses · 04/07/2021 23:40

Yes, anger and tears are to be expected, but being fairly pragmatic about it (and sounds like you are) means they get on with life pretty quickly. The medics will be too busy to worry for long and will have greater understanding, that may help the others.

Mine was a while back (diagnosed 2009) and they are now very dismissive. In a good way.

Isanyholeagoal · 04/07/2021 23:44

If it were me I would sit them all down together, if you do it separately you run the risk of one telling the others before you’ve had the chance. Just explain the situation and why you felt it best not to tell them until now. You only did it with their best interests at heart and I’m sure they will be understanding and supportive.

I know it crossed my dads mind not to tell us, it must be a natural thought process for parents in trying to protect their children no matter their age.

You sound amazingly strong and resilient. I’m glad you are in a good place now

MagnoliaXYZ · 04/07/2021 23:46

I would be angry and upset with you if you were my mum and hadn't told me for so long.

I'm a nurse and would be angry with myself for not realising you had been going through cancer. I would probably question myself professionally for having missed something so important. I would worry that my siblings would blame me for not realising what you were going through. For that reason, I would probably tell your children who are doctors separately and they may support you in telling your other children, I know I've often been the one to have that role in my family because it's something I'm fairly used to discussing professionally.

It's great news that you're now cancer-free though!