FIL bringing old veg as a 'gift' when visiting

[Susannahmoody]

Anyone else's parents /in-laws do this?

He stayed at ours for 2 nights recently and brought some fruit and veg as it would go to waste otherwise. A couple of clementines were edible, but there was some chopped lettuce that was yellow and going bad around the edges, which I threw away when he left

Why bother bringing it?

Because he didn't want it to go to waste. He told you that. I think it's an older generation thing. You didn't want it, you threw it away. Problem solved.

My mother is forever trying to foist 'on the turn' fruit and veg that she bought at the market on to me.

Never food items, but SIL brings round old magazines (of the Take a Break ilk) and things such as treadbare towels, old curtains/bedding that she’s not got the room to store but don’t fit our windows/beds and other general household stuff that she seems not to be able to bring herself to throw out/take to charity shop. We feel like we are being used as a dumping ground for things she doesn’t want anymore. We continually say no, but yet the stuff comes.

It wasn't a gift . He even told you that it would go to waste when he wasn't at home to eat it.

This made me laugh, my grandparents were always doing this. "These want eating".

It wasn't a gift, it's so it wasn't wasted as he was going away from home. I'd do the same thing.

My mum does this if she comes to stop. I do it if I go to her house. Why would you throw away perfectly good food if it could be eaten instead? So the lettuce didn’t get used, but it definitely wouldn’t have been used if he had left it at home. It wasn’t a gift, it was not being wasteful.
I find it more odd that you think it’s odd TBH.

Ah this took me back. My lovely gran used to do the same, it's just a different generation, but we should take note. Waste not want not.

It's fine to do this if the food is fit to eat, but if it's "on the turn" it should just be binned or composted.

My MIL sent me a half-eaten cucumber! Not a sealed cucumber half-portion but a cucumber she "didn't need anymore". That went well with the Iceland box of 12 frozen individual miniature cakes that we opened to find 2 left (she had eaten the rest and wondered why her blood sugar was high!)

Oh don’t be so mean! They probably believe they are helping out, food is expensive.

On the turn stuff should go- who would want it. I eat lots of fruit, so I often ask if I can bring the amount of fruit I'd eat daily rather than waste it when I go to stay. However- I'd bin it if it went manky and unless someone really fancied a piece, I would make it clear that it would just be for me anyway.

My generation and my parents generation are/were far less precious about eating less than perfect food than today. It probably would have been fine for your FiL.

What a misery guts you are.
His intention was well meant, one day he won't be around to bring you anything, why not just be gracious and say thankyou?

I think a lot of it is with many of them having experienced food shortages or perhaps having been raised on 'short rations' and having learnt 'waste not want not'. Another part of can be 'food = love'.

I don't think it's anything to get all het up about. Smile, say 'thank you', and bin it. No harm done, it's not like they're bringing in old furniture or whatever.

He's being kind and trying to contribute.
You're mean.

Reminds me of that motherland episode when Julia's in-laws bring her half an onion

Funny because it's so relatable, tons of old people do this

I do this when we go to the in laws! I don’t bring anything that’s bad or on the turn but I will bring stuff that will be perfectly good that weekend but no good when we get home.

Nobody has to eat it but it might be useful. If it isn’t then we’ll bin it, as would have happened anyway if we’d left it at home. At least this way there is a chance it gets used.

YANBU I find it pretty insulting. When my M left DH & I would go straight from the front door to the fridge.
We'd ask each other "Is this yours?" "No" ... BIN IT

Because it was already well past the turn when she decided to bring it with her! They are just incapable of throwing stuff away.

It probably looked ok when he took it out of the fridge, but fruit and veg deteriorates rapidly at ambient temperatures.

My MIL always does this
My favourite was the time she brought a massive marrow.
She had no idea how to cook it but it was going cheap at the farmers market and she apparently thought I might know what to do with it
I did not but I had a go at cooking it. It was like a watery courgette. Not terribly pleasant. No-one ate it apart from DH who would eat cardboard if I told him it was food.

I’d rather that than the old man style pyjamas df tried to pass
off on dh who is in his 30’s. They weren’t even fashionable or nice for an elderly man in his 80’s!

Lettuce soup is lovely in summer. Sauté chopped onion and potato, add stock (from a cube is ok); simmer 20 min. Add lettuce and any other green things such as spring onions, carrot tops, peas, celery tops. Season to taste. Simmer just till bright green. Liquidise. Some people add milk or cream.