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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feeling quite upset about backlash to Covid test

102 replies

catsatonmymat · 04/07/2021 14:05

I have a really bad pain coming from my breast bone on the right hand side going round to my lungs. It is making me a bit breathless when i walk or move about - ie up the stairs. I was up all night and eventually after an hour got through to 111. They asked if i had any Covid symptoms and i told them that i had a bit of a scratchy throat and lung pain. The Dr. said i could see my GP tomorrow but I might as well get a Covid test because the GP would probably advise me to get it anyway. Everyone is shouting at me saying I don't need a test. My son and his girlfriend were going out for lunch with her family and aren't going any more. I have been told I shouldn't have told them. My boss will go mental. My DH is also going crazy at me. I don't see what I've done wrong but apparently I have.

OP posts:
Abraxan · 05/07/2021 08:20

[quote Opalfeet]@Abraxan no you just need one. I had a PCR test the other day as had a cough and had to collect son from nursery.[/quote]
Your son had to be collected because you had one of the main 3 symptoms - the cough.

The OP says she doesn't have one of the main 3 symptoms. Therefore it is a different situation.

Abraxan · 05/07/2021 08:23

I have had to do PCR for a number reasons over the last year, as have some family members.

Eg

Zoe research app - asked to test due to other symptoms such as breathlessness, fatigue, etc
Before a medical procedure
Due to being a close contact via school

They only time we were told that family members in the house had to isolate whilst waiting for the results is if we had a cough, temperature or loss of taste/smell. This was advice from the NHS, the school letters (via T&T) and from the Zoe testing website.

Goingdriving · 05/07/2021 09:00

Hello
Definitely ask GP For bone density test - both wrist and back fractures are a sign that something might be up. The scan is simple
And fast and non invasive. Meanwhile start taking calcium supplements.

DahliaMacNamara · 05/07/2021 09:50

You may have to insist on the dexa scan. In some health authorities, certainly, it's one of those areas where women get fobbed off. Meh, 55, what do you expect but that you'd crumble into the ground.
I second looking into specialist advice. The National Osteoporosis Society has been upgraded to Royal, incidentally. Their nurse helpline will be useful theros.org.uk/information-and-support/free-osteoporosis-helpline/

dementedmummy · 05/07/2021 10:15

Im going to up my advice from yesterday having read your updates. You are going to need to find your voice. You could have blood clots. They can happen out of the blue (happened to my husband) or after an accident. I think you need to insist on a blood test at a & e. I also think you need to start shouting about the pain in you are in. Its not on to be told to get on with it. Complain to your nhs trust. Your family and boss are unbelievable.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/07/2021 12:42

[quote DahliaMacNamara]You may have to insist on the dexa scan. In some health authorities, certainly, it's one of those areas where women get fobbed off. Meh, 55, what do you expect but that you'd crumble into the ground.
I second looking into specialist advice. The National Osteoporosis Society has been upgraded to Royal, incidentally. Their nurse helpline will be useful theros.org.uk/information-and-support/free-osteoporosis-helpline/[/quote]
This.
Also I find it absolutely unbelievable that your Boss thinks he has the right to weigh in and tell you that you don't "need" an xray!!! He's also making sure you don't inconvenience him. If you have a union or a HR department you should report him. If you have legal advice cover on your home insurance, that is worth an email especially if the lack of xray has made your condition worse!
Its sometimes hard to be assertive at GP's especially when you are feeling down and the people around you are unsupportive. Do you have someone to come and support you?

I hope you are feeling better today. When this is over you might look at some assertiveness help or some help to re educate your family

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/07/2021 12:43

ps. I don't mean that I don't believe you! I mean your boss's behaviour is despicable.

Original poster
catsatonmymat · 05/07/2021 18:20

Well as an update I got the covid results back - negative - still felt awful today so went to A and E. Possibly pulmonary embolism - i have blood thinners and need to go back and get a lung scan. Any advice in the meantime - I'm still in a lot of a pain and am shattered - obviously wasn't in work today but what do i do about the rest of the week? Family now very sheepish and sympathetic! My boss is on holiday, which will be making him very unhappy that I'm not there but what can I do? I answered some emails this morning but I find it really hard to get motivated. I sent a lot of stuff to someone more senior than me - don't think she was best pleased!

OP posts:
TerrifiedandWorried · 05/07/2021 18:25

Get signed off, you are properly unwell. You need to rest.

NameChangeAgain2 · 05/07/2021 18:26

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not your fault, your boss sounds like a whole Flowers

Wynston · 05/07/2021 18:34

Op you need to get signed off and then forget about work.
You are ill......you are important please give yourself time to get better.
Hope you are well again soon x

IllForTooLong · 05/07/2021 18:43

@catsatonmymat please stop!

You are doing no one a favour by struggling through the day like this, starting with yourself.
I suspect people are used to see you struggling through and assume it can’t be that bad if you are still working/cooking/getting up. So stop.
Let your boss be upset. Let your family sort themselves out and EXPECT them to look after you instead.
All well and good to be sheepish now but how dare they having questioned how bad you were in the first place….

Take the time off, like anyone with a suspected embolism would.
Rest.
Don’t make any effort (esp if there is a risk of a blood clot etc….)
For once, put yourself first and do what you would tell your best friend/child to do. I and you know it’s not carrying on working etc….

BeneficiaryMadness · 05/07/2021 18:44

I’m so pleased you got it checked out properly, (I’m the poster up thread who suggested pulmonary embolism) please please please just rest until you get your scan, the pain may get worse so take medication for that. Try and sleep propped up if you can, it helps with the pain. (Well it did with mine!)

warmfluffytowels · 05/07/2021 18:49

Just stop doing work - stop it. Nobody is going to die because you don't answer your e-mails.

You're allowed to self-cert for up to a week so do that today, and then get yourself a GP appointment ASAP and get signed off!

You need to look after your health. Work is way down the list of priorities right now. Flowers

chocolateorangeinhaler · 05/07/2021 19:11

@catsatonmymat

Thank you so much for our support - I'm in tears here - I think they are fed up with me because i had misdiagnosed back fractures which are still causing me problems6 months down the line - they all told me not to go to A and E and every doctor said it was soft tissue and it turned out to be two fractures - I'm still in a lot of pain but this is different - this is at my lungs. I think they think i am acting it.
You may as well just go to A&E. They can X-ray and rule anything out. I don't understand the whole family being cross about you having a test. That's a very odd reaction. Is there more to this story?
RandomMess · 05/07/2021 19:14

So glad you've been seen.

Due to your fractures the pain stops you breathing properly which puts you at risk of pneumonia as well as other things.

I am so sorry your family have been unkind and unsupportive Thanks

endofthelinefinally · 05/07/2021 19:41

You need to be off sick.
PE can be fatal.
Sod your horrible boss.
Start putting yourself first and make your ungrateful, selfish family look after you.

canigooutyet · 05/07/2021 19:47

Try and get in contact with your gp and get a fit note. You can self cert for a day or 2 iirc (do check properly) whilst you arrange this.

If this doesn't suit other people oh well. Maybe next time rather than patronising you they will listen to you rather than ignore you as if you are a child.

Do they wear you down a lot like this? Nag until you do as they say?

Mydogmylife · 05/07/2021 20:00

Please look after yourself! I had a pulmonary embolism, ended up in hospital for a week and managed to give myself a lovely dose of pneumonia as well!

BungleandGeorge · 05/07/2021 20:15

I’m honestly surprised they didn’t send you to a&e yesterday. You’re not well, you need to be off work. Even if it’s not a PE you need sorting out, pain that keeps you awake all night is not normal

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 05/07/2021 20:43

@catsatonmymat

Well as an update I got the covid results back - negative - still felt awful today so went to A and E. Possibly pulmonary embolism - i have blood thinners and need to go back and get a lung scan. Any advice in the meantime - I'm still in a lot of a pain and am shattered - obviously wasn't in work today but what do i do about the rest of the week? Family now very sheepish and sympathetic! My boss is on holiday, which will be making him very unhappy that I'm not there but what can I do? I answered some emails this morning but I find it really hard to get motivated. I sent a lot of stuff to someone more senior than me - don't think she was best pleased!
Suspected PE on top of fractures? What you do is go off sick - and then get a sick note from your GP (they do them over the phone in my experience) ready for when your self certification expires.
dementedmummy · 05/07/2021 22:11

Glad you got seen. You now need a sick note for at least a fortnight and just forget about work. Stick yourself at the front of the queue for once and if your boss is pissed off, remind him he will be a lot more pissed off if you die and he gets sued for breaching his duty of care towards employees. Go get your sick line and for Gawds sake dont be running about after your family. You need rest. A PE is a highly dangerous thing to have. Flowers

Original poster
catsatonmymat · 05/07/2021 23:47

dementedmummy thank you so much. I don't actually run about after my family per se - in fact my husband makes all the means and I haven't done a lot of housework since I hurt my back. I don't know if they are afraid that if I get tests that something will definitely show up. I have three boys and mostly they are very nice and kind to me, the eldest in particular but I think there was a sense of mob mentality the other day - they can all get together against me to prove that I am in the wrong - I don't get it - if it was one of them I would get them to A and E sharpish.

OP posts:
queenMab99 · 06/07/2021 07:32

They are being selfish and cruel.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 06/07/2021 07:37

Your family sound like dicks. As does your boss.

You’re ill. Get signed off so you can recuperate and don’t let you h or sons treat you like that again.

Hope you feel better soon