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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Don't worry, he's friendly'

467 replies

PraiseBee · 04/07/2021 07:50

Too flippin friendly. Yet again, another dog running up to my four year old DC with a chunk of a branch in its mouth, firmly ignoring it's owners recall whilst they yell at me 'don't worry, Fluffyballs is friendly'. My DC loves dogs but hates dogs rushing up to him and is obviously scared. Large dogs are the same height as him and can easily knock him over. Imagine as an adult being rushed up to by a horse with a bit of tree trunk in its mouth trying to lick your face. I think most adults would be perturbed by this. It seems to be happening more often. Are dogs getting less well trained? I think the thing that makes my blood boil over is that the dog owners seem to think their dog is the most amazing thing ever so of course me and my DC want to bowled over by Fluffyballs. No we really don't and no, I give a shit what your dog is called. AIBU to be so annoyed by this happening every time we go to a children's park?!

OP posts:
Original poster
PraiseBee · 04/07/2021 09:51

@vivainsomnia

I don't allow my DC to approach anyone's dog, ever. IME, it does not go both ways How do you know? It happens to me almost weekly. As said, my dog is not a scary one at all. It's adorable looking and elicits cooing most walks from everyone, even grown up tough men!

But of course, you know better!

I said 'in my experience'. My experience is different to yours. Didn't say yours is invalid just that mine is different.
OP posts:
Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 04/07/2021 09:52

Dogs shouldn't be in playgrounds at all. We're lucky round here because dogs are banned from most playgrounds. Dogs have no place in an area meant specifically for children to run around and play.

Original poster
PraiseBee · 04/07/2021 09:53

@sunflowerdaisies

Of course YANBU. However I do wonder why this happens so much to some people as we are always out walking and doesn't happen to us, dogs round here seem pretty trained.
Where do you live?! I'm moving Wink
OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 04/07/2021 09:53

I was not impressed when I was sitting on a bench in a country park minding my own business. When two dogs ran up to me and planted their muddy paws all over my clean clothes.

Oceanbliss · 04/07/2021 09:56

@vivainsomnia I clearly stated that there were signs everywhere at this playground, park and sports oval. Also, where I live there are laws or regulations that for all playgrounds dogs have to be leashed. So, he was actually breaking those regulations and disregarding the very prominent signage.

vivainsomnia · 04/07/2021 09:58

@Oceanbliss just noticed you said there were signs. What an imbecile. That really annoys me. Kids should be free not to be scared in areas they should expect not be be approached by dogs.

Oceanbliss · 04/07/2021 09:58

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

Dogs shouldn't be in playgrounds at all. We're lucky round here because dogs are banned from most playgrounds. Dogs have no place in an area meant specifically for children to run around and play.

Thank you. I agree.

DocsOddSocks · 04/07/2021 09:59

@PraiseBee YANBU.

Our dog's recall isn't very good. When we're in the park, if we find an area with no dogs, we do let him off but as soon as we see another dog, he's straight back on his lead. Smile

BorderlineHappy · 04/07/2021 10:00

@vivainsomnia I would think it's common sense not to have an unleashed dog in a children's playground.
I think the clue is in the name.
And most parks/ playground have signs up.
Just most dog owners think it doesn't apply to them.
And by your reply here,I'm assuming you're one of the people Op is talking about.

myotherusernameisonholiday · 04/07/2021 10:03

Definitely not BU op! I've noticed it too, we used to live on a walled alley way and would get strange off lead dogs just running up to DC, they would run screaming away and they are now both terrified of these encounters. We have been patiently working on their fears with friends dogs and they are usually fine with on lead dogs but these 'friendly' greetings by random dogs have not helped at all. Youngest DC is less scared now but oldest DC has leapt back, terrified, into the road before when a dog on a (long) lead has just randomly leapt up at them. Luckily there were no cars coming. DC is 8 and has great road sense, but a very real fear.

ginbramble · 04/07/2021 10:03

@DollyBantry we're exactly the same. Ours is almost one year old now and is in his adolescence... he has developed very selective hearing! We have a 30meter training line that we use when out on open fields for his safety and to stop him running up to other dogs/people. We have had a few of the "friendly " dogs running up to him. Their owners saying how it's good for dogs to play with other dogs and looking pityingly at ours on his long line. I politely tell them that it is nice when dogs play together but a responsible owner doesn't let their dog approach anyone before having it ok'd with the person/owner. (ours is very friendly... and why we use the line while he's being trained not to approach people and other dogs) .
We were in the Yorkshire dales last week, on a popular walk which involved going through fields of sheep. Ours was on a short lead and was approached by several 'friendly' dogs... if that wasn't bad enough what kind of twat just let's their dog run around in a field of sheep?!! (Sheep dogs being the exception obvs!)

PromisingMiddleagedWoman · 04/07/2021 10:04

I completely agree OP. I’ve never been keen on dogs - it’s not a massive phobia, I just don’t particularly like them and have no desire to get over this as it really doesn’t bother me.

Yet a few times I’ve mentioned this to dog owners they’ve been like “oh you really need to meet my dog! She’s amazing, so friendly! You’ll love her!”

Nope… after 44 years I’m pretty confident I know my views on dogs. All these deluded dog owners thinking there is something special and different about their particular dog need to get some perspective.

By contrast I think cat owners are pretty accepting that some people don’t like cats, and don’t seek to change their minds.

vivainsomnia · 04/07/2021 10:05

I said 'in my experience'. My experience is different to yours. Didn't say yours is invalid just that mine is different
But if course it wouldn't apply in your experience because you don't let your kids wouldn't get close to a dog!

I would think it's common sense not to have an unleashed dog in a children's playground
Well some dogs would just sit next to a bench and not move especially elderly ones and that would be fine IF there was no sign to make it clear all dogs should be on a lead. If there is, which indeed, is almost always, then it's just being provocative and these people need reporting.

Oceanbliss · 04/07/2021 10:06

@vivainsomnia Thank-you. FWIW there are some really responsible dog owners out there, my auntie was one of them. She never even had to raise her voice and her dog would listen and come back, or sit etc.

I’ve also, seen irresponsible dog owners who have put their own untrained dog at risk by letting them off leash near very busy road and it’s nearly been run over by a car.

vivainsomnia · 04/07/2021 10:10

Just most dog owners think it doesn't apply to them
Really most? Every time there is a thread about dogs on MM, you would conclude that the majority of dog owners are selfish, inconsiderate and rude people.

Yet in my experience, it really isn't the case. I take my dog on a walk to our local park every day, full of dogs, on lead or not as dogs can be off, old people, young families and everyone gets along together well. I get the kids scaring my dog, but I've never seen a kid upset or crying because a dog got to them, or an older person unsettled.

The only living thing that probably has the worse experience are the squirrels!

Lweji · 04/07/2021 10:11

Oh, the time some stupid woman let her stupid unleashed little dog approach my months old baby lying on the grass. Angry
She was lucky I didn't want to risk the dog being frightened by a sudden move.

Later on my DS was scared of anything coming in his direction. Dogs, waves, cars...

Keep your dogs under control. If that means leashed, then leash them. Even the nicest dogs can freak out for whatever reason. And children top dogs, yes.

Katefoster · 04/07/2021 10:12

I don't like it as an adult so I would hate this to happen to a child. People are too pre occupied to look at what their dogs are doing or like you say think we all love them to pieces and don't mind being jumped on

hopefulmama36 · 04/07/2021 10:14

YANBU

I'm a dog lover but have had a dog run several hundred yards, crossing a road and stand yapping at me. My sin to leave my house and attempt to get into my car. HmmHmm

I stood still and waited until the owner of said yappy little dog strolls over, looks at me and says it's ok he's friendly! HmmHmm

Yes because that's immediately obvious as your rather horrible little dog runs up to me barking, totally ignoring you.

GruffaIo · 04/07/2021 10:15

When one of those owners says "don't worry, he's only friendly" as their dog rushes over, I just reply about our muzzled, on-lead dog, "well ours isn't if he thinks your dog is getting too close to our toddler". Tends to result in most owners trying with more urgency to get their dog back.

vivainsomnia · 04/07/2021 10:16

There also always threads about nervous dogs and how dogs should never approach a dog in the lead. I totally agree. My dog who is still young always wants to go and say hello to others so I stop her doing so until the owner says it's ok.

What I'm finding is more puzzlement that I'm asking! The owners of nervous dogs just mentions it in a friendly way before I can even ask.

I find dog owners especially friendly, much more than I found other parents when I used to take my kids to the park. There is a natural camaraderie. Nothing like the experience on MM.

AliceLivesHere · 04/07/2021 10:16

I agree and I have a dog. She won't run up to anyone because she isn't interested in other people or other dogs and has excellent recall.
At the park Friday night I watched a woman who's dog pooped walk off. I showed her the poop and she said oh I was looking at my phone and didn't see it. Oblivious to what dog was doing.
A new breed of dog owner out there with little awareness of their fur baby... no its a dog and treat it as such

FangsForTheMemory · 04/07/2021 10:17

My response is always 'He may be friendly but I'm not. Call him off please.'

Showgurn · 04/07/2021 10:17

Definitely not unreasonable. Incident with my dog rather than a child. My dog was a 13yo Romanian rescue girl, never off the lead. A dog comes bounding up with the “it’s ok he’s friendly cry” from afar. Dog came into my dog’s face so she growled a warning. That brought out the unfriendly side of the other dog who locked its jaw round her neck. If the other dog had been on a lead, some verbals would have been exchanged between the dogs but no harm done. She was dying of cancer at that point too and it really made her nervous for the rest of her days.

vivainsomnia · 04/07/2021 10:18

And children top dogs, yes
If a child was to hurt my dog, because he approached her and acted negligent whilst their parent did nothing, I can assure you that their kid wouldn't top my dog' need. I would push them if I had to.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 04/07/2021 10:19

I am a dog person. Will pet them when invited and show to my DS (14 months) if owner is happy and dog is under control. Eg on a lead or owner got hold of it.

I would not think twice about kicking one away that knocked over my DS. If your dog can’t be recalled immediately and reliably it needs to be on a lead in busy places. I say this as someone who has owned dogs too. It’s not fair on the ones being knocked over or slobbered over or indeed the dog

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