'Don't worry, he's friendly'

[PraiseBee]

Too flippin friendly. Yet again, another dog running up to my four year old DC with a chunk of a branch in its mouth, firmly ignoring it's owners recall whilst they yell at me 'don't worry, Fluffyballs is friendly'. My DC loves dogs but hates dogs rushing up to him and is obviously scared. Large dogs are the same height as him and can easily knock him over. Imagine as an adult being rushed up to by a horse with a bit of tree trunk in its mouth trying to lick your face. I think most adults would be perturbed by this. It seems to be happening more often. Are dogs getting less well trained? I think the thing that makes my blood boil over is that the dog owners seem to think their dog is the most amazing thing ever so of course me and my DC want to bowled over by Fluffyballs. No we really don't and no, I give a shit what your dog is called. AIBU to be so annoyed by this happening every time we go to a children's park?!

As a dog owner, I agree it's not acceptable. And my cousin's little boy had to have emergency surgery to remove a bleed on the brain, after being knocked over by a bouncy friendly dog when he was 4, in a park, at the children's play area.
My dog is being brought up to be well-mannered. 'Friendly' is a cop-out for non-aggressive but not under control.

Please let the owners know what they're allowing is not acceptable.

'He won't hurt you'

I do not want your dog near me. Im autistic, I do not like dogs and I literally cannot talk when i get into challenging situations like a dog owner trying to convince me I should accept and like their dog near me. I freeze. I look frozen. They think im scared. They try to convince me it's on. It's not ok. Im not usually scared I just do not want to have your stinking dog near me. Urgh.

Completely agree, I have a huge American Bulldog who has very good recall but if there are children/people on the field or in the open plan play park she stays on lead.

I'm a dog owner / no DCs but 1000000% agree with you. My dog is very anxious and not keen on strange dogs, and one enthusiastically barrelling at her is guaranteed to cause some sort of skirmish. We avoid high dog population parks and pick more remote locations for walks but at least once every few weeks we encounter one of the 'he's just friendly / wants to say hello' brigade, who persist with the approach/ allowing their dog to bother mine even after I've asked them politely to get their dog under control. I've been known not to be so polite after they've ignored my first request. I'm involved in a few dog groups / activities and everyone I know through that is similarly fed up with the increasing number of dog owners who don't have a fucking clue what they're doing.

Yelp, some of your stories are terrible. I think I'm going to give some more direct feedback to owners in the future. The whole situation sucks but the thing that finishes it off me is when the owners flounce off when you haven't gushed and oood over their fur baby. They genuinely seem to think I should be in awe when in reality I'm having a mad scramble to keep my child safe and calm and their dog calm. Baffles me. I'll be impressed when your dog responds immediately to recall and walks to heel.

We have a lockdown pup. She stays on the long line on walks for all these reasons and we work hard on training and socialisation. I get such pitying looks from other dog owners who let their dogs run free and charge up to everyone they meet. It gives me the rage.

It's awful round here. I don't mind so much when the owners are apologetic and actually come to get their dog away but I've seen so many lazy owners stand where they are and repeatedly call the dogs name to no avail.

My dd is afraid of dogs for the exact same reason others have described. We were at a playground where there were signs everywhere saying that it is not an unleash park all dogs have to be on a lead, fines apply. We’ve been there many times and there are many dogs off leash.

While dd playing happily at this no dogs off leash playground, a man entered playground with his kids and dog off leash. My dd screamed and ran to hide. (I have been working with her to help her overcome her fear).

I approached the man and started to ask “could you please put.. “ then he interrupted before I said “your dog on a leash”and said “no, she’s fine” quite firmly. I felt intimidated by him and turned to walk away, then changed my mind and turned back. I looked him square in the eye and said: “No, it’s not fine. This playground is purpose built for all children to play, including children who are afraid of dogs.” He then put his dog on a lead then yelled at me that he would have if I’d asked him nicely. I replied that we both know that I had asked him nicely, turned and walked away while he continued to yell abusively at me.

I felt shaken by this aggressive man. My dd seemed a bit scared of him too. Asked me why he was yelling at me. So, I had to try to explain and reassure her that we were ok and don’t worry about him but stay away from him.

It’s not the first time a dog owner has been aggressive or abusive over reasonable requests to control their dog or call their dog back, while my young child is clinging to me obviously scared.

I don’t remember this ever being a problem to this extent when I was a child. I grew up around animals including dogs. I remember people training their dogs to heel, sit, roll over, shake hands etc. Dogs were usually walked on a lead. Why has this changed so much in the last decade or so? Where did this entitlement come from, that my dog trumps your or your children’s personal space, safety etc? These owners also let their dogs off leash on the sports oval and won’t call them back when the dog runs into a game of football or other team sport. How bloody rude

We also get the “don’t worry my dog is friendly” owners too.

Are you going to tell us the reasons?

They genuinely seem to think I should be in awe when in reality I'm having a mad scramble to keep my child safe and calm and their dog calm
As said, it goes both ways. Parents also expect me to think their toddler running after my dog calling 'doggy' in a high pitch incessant voice is cute. They are not. They are scaring my dog and there is nothing cute about it.

It's not dog vs kids. I personally like dogs much better than kids, and I'm allowed to do so just as people are allowed to think that kids are more likable.

We can really all manage by avoiding drama and high stance. Kids scarring my dog just don't know and their parents don't understand. I just calmly explain. They give me 'that' look but that's up to them. I move on and that's that.

@Ravenclawsome

Reasons?

I've had it at the beach too - settled with the children, beach tent, picnic, sandcastles - dog comes bounding over into the picnic and tent, showering sand over everything. Other dogs coming over to piss all over sandcastle, narrowly missing my young child.
Owners jovially accepting the dog's been a bit naughty, but otherwise giving them full rein to do what they like. I don't get it at all.

Took my doggy to the park with DD and school friends. She was on a long line for a bit of impulse control and training in the park. She wasn't allowed to roam over our friends' picnic blankets, or jump up at anyone. We played and accepted calm interest from dds friends, but she was under control and behaved very well. I would be mortified if she was jumping up at children, or anyone, or barking. It's unnecessary.

@vivainsomnia

They genuinely seem to think I should be in awe when in reality I'm having a mad scramble to keep my child safe and calm and their dog calm As said, it goes both ways. Parents also expect me to think their toddler running after my dog calling 'doggy' in a high pitch incessant voice is cute. They are not. They are scaring my dog and there is nothing cute about it.

It's not dog vs kids. I personally like dogs much better than kids, and I'm allowed to do so just as people are allowed to think that kids are more likable.

We can really all manage by avoiding drama and high stance. Kids scarring my dog just don't know and their parents don't understand. I just calmly explain. They give me 'that' look but that's up to them. I move on and that's that.

I don't allow my DC to approach anyone's dog, ever. IME, it does not go both ways. My DC are approached by a dog every time we're out at the moment.

While dd playing happily at this no dogs off leash playground, a man entered playground with his kids and dog off leash. My dd screamed and ran to hide
It comes down to whether there is a sign that dogs should be in leads. If not, and the dog wasn't pestering kids, he was doing nothing wrong. In that case, I agree that you should have asked him kindly rather than as something he should do.

If there was a sign, then you should have pointed it to him and he was inevitably in the wrong.

Yeah a friendly little shit made my daughter fall in the lake when she tried to get away from it. I'm still furious I didn't make a big deal of it with the owner but was sorting out my child instead

Completely agree. My daughter kind of likes dogs but gets anxious at unpredictable, bouncy ones. She is becoming more and more afraid of them because of these out of control dogs in parks and I’m battling to try and stop her anxiety becoming a full on phobia. I find small dog owners particularly annoying because they assume a small dog jumping up is just cute and funny and not an issue. I’m sorry, but your chihuahua or stupid toy poodle mix has sharp claws and sharp teeth just the same as any other dog.

AND it makes a mockery of every time I’ve reminded the kids that we never approach a strange dog or try to pet it without checking with the owner first.

That's unacceptable op - I agree that dogs shouldn't bound up to anyone or other dogs. Why the stupid owners aren't more worried about their dog getting hurt I don't know.

DS was chased by a puppy on a beach when he was 2/3. Puppy was only playing but DS was terrified. Owners were laughing until I got hold of and picked up the puppy. Then they stopped laughing .

I would never have hurt an animal but of course they didn't know that. Just as DS wasn't to know the puppy was not going to bite him. Hopefully the owners got the point.

I don't allow my DC to approach anyone's dog, ever. IME, it does not go both ways
How do you know? It happens to me almost weekly. As said, my dog is not a scary one at all. It's adorable looking and elicits cooing most walks from everyone, even grown up tough men!

But of course, you know better!

Argh this infuriates me!
We have a black Labrador, he's big, he can be reactive and he's fast. He is walked on a long lead and as soon as I see a small child/dog/runner etc I call him or if he's not listening pull him over to me and keep him close until the distraction has passed us and then give him a treat so that staying close to me = treat. The amount of dogs we have running up to us while I'm trying to train my dog to not react to other dogs is ridiculous.

I know my dog looks intimidating, I know he can look scary, yes he is very friendly to a fault but I know that others don't know that. I wouldn't want a random big dog running at me so I don't allow my dog to do that to others. It makes me very cross when I see other people at the park allowing their dogs to run up to other dogs/people and I wish I had the courage to tell people to get their dog on a lead.

@burritofan

occasionally runs and once he does that you've lost him. I will say "he's friendly" because I don't want people to worry BUT I chase after him, put him on a lead and make clear it's not acceptable. FFS. You’re exactly the problem! If he does this, he needs to be on a lead at all times. Chasing him and putting it on afterwards is bloody pointless.

999 out of a thousand he does not run. Because he's told not to. If he does run it's because I'VE not been paying attention (picking up poo last time) and haven't put the command on him in time. And I hold my hands up when I'm in the wrong.

We live in the country, on a farm, and it's actually pretty rare to see someone on our walks.

Of course YANBU. However I do wonder why this happens so much to some people as we are always out walking and doesn't happen to us, dogs round here seem pretty trained.

Yanbu at all. This happened years ago now but still punches my gut when I think about it. We were walking alongside a river when a dog bounded up from nowhere and bowled into my 4 year old DS, knocking him into the (thankfully shallow) water. Ds hurt his head on a rock and screamed for ages. The owners told us he was only being friendly, and when we told them he should be on a lead they said we had ruined their day and so should pay for their parking seeing as there was no point them being here anymore.

This is honestly not made up. We stood and gaped. Not one word of apology with our little boy soaking wet, hurt and screaming.

So yeah. Just being friendly doesn't cut it.

This was exactly what a dog owner said to my DH when he was ten years old...

"Don't worry he's friendly.."

The next thing my husband had a massive gap in his arm where the dog had bitten his arm
open down to the bone...

[quote WildfirePonie]@Ravenclawsome

Reasons? [/quote]
For starters it can excite some dogs and make them worse.

Worst case scenario they think you are attacking them and "defend" themselves.

Really not defending dogs that do this but they don't think like humans.

AND it makes a mockery of every time I’ve reminded the kids that we never approach a strange dog or try to pet it without checking with the owner first
See, you do that because your child is scared of dogs anyway. I can assure you that most kids who are not think it's perfectly acceptable to approach small cute dogs and parents say nothing because they assume it will be reciprocated.

I had one incident a couple of weeks ago when the mum said to her toddler 'look at the cute little dog, isn't he a sweety' as her toddler approached my dog. I explained to her, almost in an apologetic voice that my dog was scared of toddlers. Her response? 'what's wrong with him, you've clearly failed to train him properly, you're not doing him any favours'. Idiot.

There are stupid dog owners but God there stupid parents too.