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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'Don't worry, he's friendly'

467 replies

PraiseBee · 04/07/2021 07:50

Too flippin friendly. Yet again, another dog running up to my four year old DC with a chunk of a branch in its mouth, firmly ignoring it's owners recall whilst they yell at me 'don't worry, Fluffyballs is friendly'. My DC loves dogs but hates dogs rushing up to him and is obviously scared. Large dogs are the same height as him and can easily knock him over. Imagine as an adult being rushed up to by a horse with a bit of tree trunk in its mouth trying to lick your face. I think most adults would be perturbed by this. It seems to be happening more often. Are dogs getting less well trained? I think the thing that makes my blood boil over is that the dog owners seem to think their dog is the most amazing thing ever so of course me and my DC want to bowled over by Fluffyballs. No we really don't and no, I give a shit what your dog is called. AIBU to be so annoyed by this happening every time we go to a children's park?!

OP posts:

DaveProdrick · 05/07/2021 19:43

No YANBU dogs moving at speed are very dangerous with young children, when my daughter was 3 MIL’s retriever sideswiped her at speed whilst running and turning in the garden and fractured her femur. A complete accident but shows the damage a rapidly moving dog can do just with the force of its body.

CupOfTPlease · 05/07/2021 19:51

I hate this so much. I don't care how friendly you think your dog is, I don't want it running up to me or toddler DS.

It seems to be happening more often. Are dogs getting less well trained?

I don't think it's this. A lot of idiots got dogs in lockdown and most not all can't seem to train them.x

CupOfTPlease · 05/07/2021 19:51

I didn't mean to put the x.

Original poster

PraiseBee · 05/07/2021 19:51

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

all I would say is be aware of passing on any anxiety about encountering dogs to your DS - I see so many kids who are clearly scared of dogs - I think your reactions matter a lot more than you might realise - these problems, anxieties over dogs may only appear years down the line

I'm fine for my DC to be afraid of dogs (especially unknown large ones). Fear, or at least wariness, of dogs is a very sensible reaction for young children to have, especially since approximately 1,700 children were savaged by dogs last year. Why exactly should we be teaching children not to fear dogs? There are very real reasons for children to be afraid of dogs.

Agree

OP posts:

ERFFER · 05/07/2021 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDinosaurMum · 05/07/2021 19:53

I dislike this also, so YANBU. As the owner of a extra large breed I always ensure when people especially small children that he can easily knock over are around he goes on the lead.

Don't get me wrong he adores children, the breed are known to be gentle giants with children but still one energetic hello and said poor child would be on the floor.

I have people come up and ask to pet him in which case I tell the dog to sit, on the lead and allow the children and adults to interact with him.

Now my young DS lives with a dog, I'm a dog person but can't stand dogs running up to him and jumping at him in a excited way. The dog doesn't take kindly to it either so it has caused the odd bark from dog basically saying "stay away from my beloved little human"

Dog owners need to know, not everyone wants to know your dog so be polite and control the dog.

Babygotblueyes · 05/07/2021 20:00

I have a dog, we did years of training classes to ensure she was well behaved and obedient (she's a terrier so it took a while). There have always been asshole dog owners who do stuff like this but in lockdown there are huge amounts of people who got dogs who frankly shouldnt have, with no idea how to care for and train them. So yes, it is happening more. Like the not picking up poo - there were always a few, but a lot of those new owners dont seem to think they have to do this either.

Shell4429 · 05/07/2021 20:04

I have a phobia of dogs. About 6 years ago I was delivering something to a farm, got out of my van and two dogs started barking, ran towards me and began circling me with bared teeth. I was absolutely terrified. They didn’t attack me and the owner called them off but since then I tremble if I see a dog off the lead. Owners have said things like, don’t worry he/she is friendly/won’t hurt you/would just lick you to death. Whatever, it’s a phobia and that means irrational fear! Why are people allowed to be phobic about spiders but not dogs? So no ydnba it’s the selfish owners.

upsideoxide · 05/07/2021 20:08

Agree OP. Bloody hairy shit balls. I don't like em. Why do they always go for me?

I think more people have gotten dogs in the last year and haven't got a clue how to
Handle them. I really think dogs should be kept on leads, except in those special dog fields obvs

Galdos · 05/07/2021 20:24

Oh, and if your dog's on a lead, could it please not be one of these 10m extendable leads so while you're chatting to someone your dog's lead is causing havoc?

Supergirl1958 · 05/07/2021 20:26

@Sloaneslone not a poor attitude. Dogs will always/have always approached and that’s what they do. Dogs are curious just like humans! The same as my one year old who likes to explore my cupboards, dogs want to get to know other humans, because their humans are so kind they treat others the same! Apologies I didn’t have time to embellish earlier but I didn’t get chance. Thanks for the judgement though!

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast quite! But then it’s putting unnecessary anxiety on children by telling them to keep away from dogs? Why? I’m saying that as a 30+ yo adult who was bitten by a dog as a child and ended up having stitches and that was a familiar dog! As a responsible adult if a baby/child shows interest in my parents dog which I occasionally walk, I encourage them and explain how to be gentle. My parents dog is an adopted dog and had a rough start! He’s great with kids and we are teaching my son how to be around him. This whole thing works both ways though, I agree. And I think the OP is a little unkind to put all the blame on the dog owner. Threads like this will always be divisive :)

thenovice · 05/07/2021 20:31

I'm planning to get my kids to run up to dog-owners and cling on to them with chocolatey / muddy fingers, shouting loudly and "just being friendly".
How would they like it?

Sloaneslone · 05/07/2021 20:34

Sloaneslonenot a poor attitude. Dogs will always/have always approached and that’s what they do. Dogs are curious just like humans! The same as my one year old who likes to explore my cupboards, dogs want to get to know other humans, because their humans are so kind they treat others the same! Apologies I didn’t have time to embellish earlier but I didn’t get chance. Thanks for the judgement though!

You are welcome. And your embellishment doesn't make it any better.

Your dog, should never approach somebody uninvited. Of course they like people. That doesn't mean that everyone wants a dog approaching them.

If you can't control your dog, then keep it on the lead.

Just like you don't let your one year old, explore the cupboard with all the cleaning products. Are you telling me you don't child proof anything?

You just let a one year old, explore where they want? With no supervision, no way to to prevent them harming themselves?

So yes, my judgement of your attitude still stands.

lazylinguist · 05/07/2021 20:35

I'm planning to get my kids to run up to dog-owners and cling on to them with chocolatey / muddy fingers, shouting loudly and "just being friendly". How would they like it?

Well personally I'd be a bit taken aback, since my dog does not approach people or jump up at them. However, a bit of chocolate or mud never hurt anyone, so I expect I'd cope.

lazylinguist · 05/07/2021 20:37

dogs want to get to know other humans, because their humans are so kind they treat others the same

This isn't necessarily true at all. My dog loves us and people he knows, but he is wary of strangers. If he were prone to go up and jump at people, I wouldn't let him off the lead.

Original poster

PraiseBee · 05/07/2021 20:38

@upsideoxide

Agree OP. Bloody hairy shit balls. I don't like em. Why do they always go for me?

I think more people have gotten dogs in the last year and haven't got a clue how to
Handle them. I really think dogs should be kept on leads, except in those special dog fields obvs

Bloody hairy shit balls. Hahahaha

OP posts:

RaeRae84 · 05/07/2021 20:41

YANBU I have a dog and this would annoy me. It's the same with people letting their dogs run up to mine.
I have a 'nervous' lead for my dog plus a harness with nervous written all over in bright yellow but people still let their dog race over whilst mine is clearly on this bright lead. They always say oh don't worry mine is friendly, I say yes but mine isn't hence the warnings. If mine does anything to theirs then it's their fault for not being responsible. I would never let mine run up to a kid, adult or other dog!

rantymcrantface66 · 05/07/2021 20:43

I'm planning to get my kids to run up to dog-owners and cling on to them with chocolatey / muddy fingers, shouting loudly and "just being friendly". How would they like it?

Well I'd probably not be walking my dog in any clothes that I mind getting dirty so I'd likely laugh and exchange pleasantries with the parents - who might not return those I guess if it had been a set up. I'd have to move on quite quickly though as my dog doesn't like being approached by strangers so she certainly doesn't approach anyone either

PrincessSD · 05/07/2021 20:44

Yep! Can’t stand this. A few months ago I was out with my children aged 2 and 4 on a footpath and a big Rottweiler came running towards them. They’re not used to dogs so we’re frightened and shouted a little and the old lady who owned the dog told me off for letting the children shout in case they frightened the dog and he went for them!

MamaDane · 05/07/2021 20:48

YANBU at all.
I personally don't like dogs, so I would very much hate for this to happen. I don't care how friendly it is, I don't want anything to do with it.
Control your dogs, people.

AJA108 · 05/07/2021 20:56

I hate this as well. we don't care about your dog, we don't care it is "friendly" keep you stinking mutt away from me and my kids. We dont give a shit about your stupid dog. Hate it when out running as well. I don't want your dirty dog near me. Get away.

SallyWD · 05/07/2021 21:04

This drives me mad. Just the other day I saw a huge dog rush up to a toddler on a tricycle in the park. The little boy was so terrified he fell off the bike and hurt himself. He was shaking and crying. The owner didn't even apologise - she just looked on in a bored fashion. Today a very fast and large dog came running at me and the owner laughed!

doesparentingsuck · 05/07/2021 21:04

@AJA108

😂

LST · 05/07/2021 21:10

@AJA108

My dogs not stupid. Which is exactly why he doesn't approach people 🙂

Hobbitytoes · 05/07/2021 21:16

This is not new thing, I've been targeted (they must smell the fear) since the seventies! I was bitten by a dog aged 3 and two years later knocked down by a "friendly" dog. Over 40 years later I still have a dog phobia even after counselling when it got so bad I could not leave my house alone. Like a PP described, I get anxious just looking at a dog on TV and have spent my life avoiding parks, and now increasingly pubs, restaurants, my workplace even as there's no escaping dog owners and their need to take their dog everywhere. I'm a runner and stay on main streets to try and avoid these "friendly" dogs who continually exercebate my fear as I have been chased and jumped on many times. Thankfully my DCs have grown up to understand my irrational fear but it meant I couldn't go for walks or the parks as many times we would encounter a "friendly" dog chasing my child up a slide or on the swings.

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