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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with Sky - DS9 viewed porn

40 replies

sadmum9 · 03/07/2021 23:56

NC for this. Checked DS 9 browsing history, as I do every so often and there are a few searches that concerned me.

I could see in the search title - site blocked - for some of them. Sex cam was the search name. But one of them didn't have site blocked, so I searched it on my phone so that it doesn't show in DS's history again. It's called meatswing.com and clearing shows as the first main image and man having anal sex with another man and swinging his dick, helicopter style. When you scroll down the page there are various other explicit gifs of women and men.

I have Sky broadband with the filters on to block explicit content and have checked the settings again. It confirms the filter is on and adult content sites are blocked. The sex cams sites were obviously blocked when searched but this one wasn't.

Obviously we will be having a very sensitive and age appropriate chat with DS tomorrow about what he's seen. AIBU to be angry with Sky that this site has somehow slipped through their filter? There doesn't even seem to be a way for me to report it as porn and get it included in to their filter so other kids can't see it. I've manually blocked it now but just feel so very sad for my boy and what he's been exposed to at such a young age.

OP posts:
user1745 · 04/07/2021 00:05

I do understand and sympathise entirely. It's horrible to think your child has seen that. Unfortunately because the filtering is all done by computer, it will always miss things. It's never 100% safe and while it should almost always keep children safe from accidentally stumbling across porn (e.g from innocent searches), if they're intentionally seeking it, the chances of them finding a website that slipped through the net are higher.

I found this page on their website for reporting websites allowed in appropriately: www.sky.com/help/diagnostics/sky-broadband-shield/sites-not-filtering-correctly

Original poster
sadmum9 · 04/07/2021 00:12

@user1745 thank you, I'll check that out.

OP posts:
MythsandSparkles · 04/07/2021 00:12

Is this the looped video set to the song “you swing me right round”?

It went round my verrrry catholic secondary school late naughties, If it’s that one I’m not sure i’d class it as porn (maybe because of the duration? I don’t recall being horrified by it at the time) but it’s fairly bloody graphic,

As PP have said things will always slip through the filters which is why it’s important too to be on top of what DC are looking at (sounds like you are)

I’d focus conversation with DS mainly on why he was looking for this - it’s not the sort of thing that comes through on an “innocent” search IMO.

Ratalie · 04/07/2021 00:12

I think its widely known that filters dont catch everything, which is precisely why parental supervision is still required.

IhateeverythingaboutMN · 04/07/2021 00:18

Your 9YO has been searching for sex sites online?

I don't think your broadband security settings are the issue you need to be worrying about here. I think you need to be monitoring him much closer and don't leave him with unsupervised access to the Internet.

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 04/07/2021 00:18

Filters are only computers, they don't always catch every single adult website. They'll catch the common ones that might come up on an innocent search, but that one sounds much smaller and therefore not likely to be caught on the filter.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 04/07/2021 00:18

Just blocked that site manually on my sky broadband settings, just in case. So thank you!

Original poster
sadmum9 · 04/07/2021 00:21

@MythsandSparkles I think it is different. There is no audio to it. There are multiple gifs of various different sex acts taking place, as well as text that says sex cams. I appreciate filters can't be 100%, but when algorithms are designed to detect nudity in pictures, and scan pages for text in order to block it, how the hell can this get through?

I mean, Instagram can automatically sensor a picture of a woman breastfeeding, but Sky can't catch a swinging dick and the words Sex Cam?

OP posts:
Rillington · 04/07/2021 00:23

Your 9 year old is the issue not Sky. Why is he searching for that at his age?

UrAWizHarry · 04/07/2021 00:24

Yes, it's not ideal that filters don't catch anything but seriously, you can't be giving a 9 year old clearly completely unsupervised internet access to let it happen in the first place.

UrAWizHarry · 04/07/2021 00:24

*everything

ForgedInFire · 04/07/2021 00:25

9 is too young for unsupervised access to the Internet. You can't rely on filters, you need to be monitoring his Internet use!

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 04/07/2021 00:26

I would be really concerned my child was actively searching these sites, I wouldn't give him any unsupervised access to the internet.
9years old is so young.
There would be no iPads or devices for the foreseeable. He is being influenced somewhere along the way so you are also better off trying to see where from.

yougettocomeback · 04/07/2021 00:28

I wouldn't be worrying about Sky here...

Original poster
sadmum9 · 04/07/2021 00:28

@IhateeverythingaboutMN

Your 9YO has been searching for sex sites online?

I don't think your broadband security settings are the issue you need to be worrying about here. I think you need to be monitoring him much closer and don't leave him with unsupervised access to the Internet.

Very helpful, yes. Does every 9 year old only access the internet when they are sat next to a parent on the sofa who gives them undivided attention and watches the screen every second?

I have parental controls on. I have the set up to prevent apps being downloaded without permission. I'm in the same room as him. I have what I thought was a robust internet site blocker, I've manually selected all the categories and types of sites I want blocked. I've then added to the list with sites of my own that I don't want him stumbling in to. We've been having age appropriate discussions about sex since first started noticing he had a Willy but mummy didn't. Seriously.

I'm asking AIBU to think Sky should have caught this one. Not asking for a commentary on my parenting skills, thank you.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 04/07/2021 00:30

Yes sky should have caught it

UrAWizHarry · 04/07/2021 00:31

"I'm asking AIBU to think Sky should have caught this one."

Filters aren't perfect. If your son has searched for and managed to get onto sites like these, then fundamentally this is a fault in your parenting.

Rillington · 04/07/2021 00:32

Stop trying to deflect the responsibility. This is your fault.

ForgedInFire · 04/07/2021 00:33

If your 9 year old has enough free reign over his Internet use to search "sex cam" then you need to accept some parental blame and not try to pass the blame onto Sky's algorithm...

Original poster
sadmum9 · 04/07/2021 00:33

Also, it's not his search history, it's his viewed history. At the bottom of the site there is a footer with a section that says Prank your friends followed by some tiny urls that link to the site.

He's obviously clicked on the link from somewhere else that had a url for it, then clicked on the sex cam links after that. Those clicks I can see were clearly blocked, but the original site was shown.

What I'm bothered about now as well is that it's in my blocked list but I seem to still be able to access it.

OP posts:
FlyingBattie · 04/07/2021 00:34

I don't think it's Skys responsibility to filter everything. They can only do so much.
This isn't anybody fault. Luckily, you seem to have caught it fairly quickly and are able to take action now, but I don't think it's reasonable to blame Sky.
And to pp- it's not the parents fault, either!

FlyingBattie · 04/07/2021 00:35

But I would definitely be trying to find out who sent him those links, for a start!

stellaisabella · 04/07/2021 00:38

I'm sorry but I agree, Sky isn't the issue.

toocold54 · 04/07/2021 00:48

You could mention it to sky but they will probably just reply with the parental controls are only part of it and you should be watching them etc as to cover themselves.

If your DS typed in spongeBob and porn came up then it would be a bigger issue but as your son searched for it then I wouldn’t say it’s sky’s problem.
9 seems really young to want to know about these things but maybe your son is just advanced in that way.

GreyhoundG1rl · 04/07/2021 00:55

Your 9 year old is searching for sex cams. That's the issue, not whether Sky filters should have prevented him viewing whatever the search threw up Hmm