Am I being too precious or does he need educating?! Kids food safety

[Wingingitmum21]

DC is 5, but has a condition/disorder so is developmentally/mentally delayed and does not think or behave in the way that a 5 year old is expected.

I don’t allow DC to have chewing gum (wouldn’t know to chew it and not swallow, big risk of swallowing it and potentially choking), lollipops (if the end came off DC wouldn’t know to break it and would swallow it and would get lodged in throat) and my main peeve especially is mini eggs as I think they are a massive choking risk for children anyway regardless of age and ability.

The last few times DC has come home from seeing their dad they’ve had packs of chewing gum and lollipops and they’ve just come home with mini eggs from the ice cream shop despite me telling dad that DC isn’t allowed things like this because I don’t want to risk them choking until they understand how to eat safely etc.

Dad just says I’m being too precious and all children should be allowed these things but his irresponsibility is really starting to bug me now and it’s making me not want to leave him alone with DC unsupervised incase DC ends up potentially choking on something because dad keeps giving these hazards and would probably fail to cut food appropriately too (grapes, etc), and I’m more worried because DC doesn’t eat like other children their age because of delay.

Am I being too precious or do I need to start putting measures in place so that DC is safe?

The mini egg packets themselves state they are not suitable for under 3s, so may well be unsuitable for a 5 year old with a developmental delay.

@Totallydefeated

You’re not being precious at all. It’s a clear risk with a high cost if your son does choke. It’s fairly easy to mitigate but your ex is choosing not to.

There are literally hundreds of sweets he could give him that are low risk for choking, but instead he’s homing in on the handful that are high risk and insisting on giving them. Why? Because he’s making a point to you that you don’t tell him what to do. You don’t control him. It’s all driven by his ego. And his ego is greater than his love for his child, unfortunately.

It’s a tricky one, because thick twats like this are hard to get through to, as the ego thing makes it hard for him to see sense. He’ll see it as backing down or giving in to you instead of doing the right thing for his son’s welfare.

How would it go down to chat it through with your son’s GP or consultant and see if they can provide a written recommendation for him? Or would a friend be able to make him see sense? The only other thing is to withhold contact on safety grounds but that will kick off a whole train of events and ramifications.

This

I don't let my 4yo have lollipops, he wouldn't know what chewing gum is. Mini eggs when supervised and never straight from the fridge. I think you're being sensible. My ds choked, completely out of nowhere, on a piece of toast a few months ago and it shook me up for days. Nobody thinks it will happen to them until it happens to them.

I bash the mini eggs with a rolling pin or dis bashes them, then they are safe. All round lollies go in the bin and will continue to do so for many years.
Children don’t need chewing gum.
DS is 4. I’m fairly laid back about food ingredients but not about choking hazards.

I think you’re absolutely right.

Especially on the chewing gum. I can’t understand why anyone would give it to a 5 yo, or a child much under 10.