Me single and friend in relationship?

iamnotthemaincharacter · 2021-07-03T11:34:46+00:00

There’s many examples of where she’s rubbed her relationship in my face. She clearly has a lot of pity for me that I am single. I never complain about being single. Just this one instance on its own - would it bother anyone else. Her and me on FaceTime and her partner walks into the room Him - would you like a drink? Her - no I’m good thank you Him - ok, I love you Her - I love you too Stare dreamily at each other for a few seconds I’m sat there staring like an awkward gooseberry.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 03/07/2021 12:36

It's a bit nauseating but it doesn't feel designed to get at you particularly. Are you sure you're not jealous or have a chip on your shoulder? Play the long game and get your own back when they split up or have a big argument maybe.

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 03/07/2021 12:37

Yabu

She had a normal brief verbal exchange with her DP, which he initiated over a drink. How very dare she?

You sound over sensitive

Taoneusa · 03/07/2021 12:38

That’s not rubbing a relationship in your face. That’s just a relationship happening while your face is there.

waterrat · 03/07/2021 12:38

Oh vom

Bellyups · 03/07/2021 12:40

You are oversensitive

MerryMarigold · 03/07/2021 12:40

It's a bit 🤢 but also nice she feels relaxed enough to do that in front of you.

Frownette · 03/07/2021 12:40

Not that particular example, I'd find it a bit nauseating more than anything else!

rantymcrantface66 · 03/07/2021 12:40

She didn't even initiate either the conversation or the 'I love you' I definitely wouldn't be bothered nor think this was an effort to run your face in or. I suspect you are less happy to be single than you suggest?!

wanderedlonelyasacloud · 03/07/2021 12:41

I find it very over the top, and as the pp said quite nauseating. It also feels quite immature to me too but not sure if that's me being a bit bitchy.

However in saying that I do think YABU to think its pointed at you as i dont think it was

Mrstamborineman · 03/07/2021 12:43

It is odd that you feel this display is somehow aimed at you.

singlehun · 03/07/2021 12:44

I would have made massive sick noises at her.

She didn't really have much option other than to say it back though I guess

rantymcrantface66 · 03/07/2021 12:45

It's immature for a man to offer his dp a drink and to tell her he loves her - and for her to respond? Odd!

valnevavaxx · 03/07/2021 12:51

Two people in a relationship, saying I love you to one another? The horror!

Honestly OP unless there’s a huge drip feed coming with more pointed examples YABVU.

peboh · 03/07/2021 12:53

Oh how dare they communicate like that in front of a single person. So selfish.

thepeopleversuswork · 03/07/2021 12:54

I think you're overthinking this massively.

She's in a good relationship, you're not. You're over-preoccupied with this and possibly envious and you are projecting your emotions onto her. Yes I also find it mildly nauseating but that's a subjective view of how their relationship is. How they choose to conduct their relationship is none of your business and they don't have a responsibility to edit it for the benefit of your hangups.

In the kindest way possible, you need to get a bit of a grip. If you're struggling with the fact your friend is in a relationship you might want to talk to someone else about it (possibly a counsellor). If you decide you can't deal with it at all, walk away from it.

But if you make it her problem she will resent you and the friendship will probably come to an end.

misssunshine4040 · 03/07/2021 12:55

Sounds like your friend and her DP have a great relationship. That interaction wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I would think it was cute
YABU

FuckUcuntychops · 03/07/2021 12:55

You sound jealous and a tad paranoid

Frownette · 03/07/2021 12:56

He probably said it absent mindedly. Unless there's anything more pointed I'd let it go.

interest12 · 03/07/2021 12:59

YABU and sound very jealous

grapewine · 03/07/2021 13:00

@Taoneusa

That’s not rubbing a relationship in your face. That’s just a relationship happening while your face is there.

This. Completely normal.

Original poster

iamnotthemaincharacter · 03/07/2021 13:00

@thepeopleversuswork

I think you're overthinking this massively.

She's in a good relationship, you're not. You're over-preoccupied with this and possibly envious and you are projecting your emotions onto her. Yes I also find it mildly nauseating but that's a subjective view of how their relationship is. How they choose to conduct their relationship is none of your business and they don't have a responsibility to edit it for the benefit of your hangups.

In the kindest way possible, you need to get a bit of a grip. If you're struggling with the fact your friend is in a relationship you might want to talk to someone else about it (possibly a counsellor). If you decide you can't deal with it at all, walk away from it.

But if you make it her problem she will resent you and the friendship will probably come to an end.

Why do you assume they are in a good relationship? She got so angry with him last week she did an emergency stop in the car when he had no seatbelt on. Not really a relationship I aspire to be in.

OP posts:

Original poster

iamnotthemaincharacter · 03/07/2021 13:03

And I know it’s the assumption on Mumsnet that every single woman is bitter and jealous but I’m not. Sure one would be nice, but not one for the sake of feeling superior.

Also if a good relationship constitutes asking someone if they want a drink then wow the bar is low for a lot of you

OP posts:

Frownette · 03/07/2021 13:07

Perhaps they're just making up then

hawkehurstgang · 03/07/2021 13:10

It sounds like you ARE a bit... Not okay with being single, if you see your friend's partner telling him he loves her as a direct insult to you/purely for your benefit/trying to make you jealous? And also your latest comment insinuating her relationship is shit because they had an argument doesn't sound like you're especially happy for her/un-bitter to be honest.

RealBecca · 03/07/2021 13:10

I suggest youre single because you say things like "wow the bar is low for a lot of you" just because people have said something you dont like when ypu asked for their opinions. And youre on a forum bitching about your friend, something most people agree is your problem. Wjy are you being mean? Are you unhappy?