AIBU to not let my 14 year old DD have a sleepover with a boy?

[Thoughtsfortheday]

Dd is 14 and has a lovely bunch of friends, one of which is a boy.

Apparently DH and I are being quite old fashioned in being hesitant to allow her to have group sleepovers which include him.

Boy is lovely (we have had him over for dinner) and DD insists they are just friends, though she has shown a few cliche teen swoon signs that there might be a little bit more there on her side (wearing his jumper she borrowed around the house, singing his praises in every sentence etc).

She is a lovely girl and not at all street wise so on one hand it does seem quite innocent but I can’t help think we would be very naive to let it happen.

Apparently DH and I are being quite old fashioned? Says who? Your 14 year old?

Your house, your rules. She’s a child and by your own assessment not very street wise.

Plenty of time for all that mallarky.

I wouldn't personally OP, I'm not sure what else to say without projecting my own experiences from when I was a teenager which doesn't seem appropriate

I definitely wouldn't. YANBU

I wouldn't allow this

Does she think you were born yesterday?

It’s completely inappropriate.

If it’s a group of them I would.

Nope! Speaking from experience…

So a group of girls, plus one boy?
I wouldn’t allow it, no.

I think its fine in a group. Dd has a few male friends and I've always let her have them stay over when part as a group. You know your own daughter.

No chance. I'm sure he's a lovely lad but it's not beyond the wit of craftier lads to play at being all innocent or even gay to get themselves an exclusive little collection of female friends. A sleepover would almost be a jackpot...

No way I would allow that!

We had the opposite, a group of boys and one girl. She slept over (after some chats with her and her mum and a choice of sleeping arrangements plus an option to change her mind and go home anytime) and it was fine. Now it's a more mixed friendship group and that's just making it more complicated tbh

My mum let me have male friends to sleepover at that age, and just don’t let her is all I’m going to say

I don't know any parents who would allow this! It's an absolute no.

Thank you everyone, you’ve reassured me I’m making the right decision.

Not in a million years.

Nope not on your nelly!

I would, if there were more than just them.

One of my best friends was male as a teen and we had plenty of sleepovers.

I’m not sure what we could have got up to at night that we wouldn’t have been able to get up to during the day/evening when alone.

And you can’t become a 24/7 chaperone.

I’d be happy enough if I knew the children and it was at my place.

My daughter is in a group with one male friend. They are all best friends and often have sleep overs. I would feel awful excluding either him or my child from the group. They have all been best friends since they were in year 7.

I will admit I was slightly worried in the beginning but I’ve seen the groups dynamic many times on outings and sleep overs and even my concerned husband was reassured.

I think it should be based on individual circumstance and not just blanketed, all boys.

Nope and not in a group either. From my uncomfortable teenage experience, it doesn't stop other teenagers - whether you're alone or in a group - from doing what they want to!

Absolutely not. You remember being 14, right?

I’m really surprised at the responses given that you’ve said it’s in a group. I was having sleepovers in mixed groups from age 9. Just the two of them would obviously be different but I don’t personally see an issue with a group.

I'd be fine with this if it's a group.

I've been a teenager. No flipping way, not without a chaperone.