AIBU to not let my 14 year old DD have a sleepover with a boy?

[Thoughtsfortheday]

Dd is 14 and has a lovely bunch of friends, one of which is a boy.

Apparently DH and I are being quite old fashioned in being hesitant to allow her to have group sleepovers which include him.

Boy is lovely (we have had him over for dinner) and DD insists they are just friends, though she has shown a few cliche teen swoon signs that there might be a little bit more there on her side (wearing his jumper she borrowed around the house, singing his praises in every sentence etc).

She is a lovely girl and not at all street wise so on one hand it does seem quite innocent but I can’t help think we would be very naive to let it happen.

Need more context

I will add, the boy in my 14 year olds group is openly gay.

I would be fine with it

My d'ds have. Nothing untoward happened.

My best friend as a teen was male. We stayed at each other's houses and I even went away with him. We also stayed over as a group in tents in friends gardens. He was the only male.

My mum always suspected he was gay so I don't know if that's what swayed her. He didn't come out to us until well after he left school

My friends parents who allowed group sleepovers at that age for some reason assumed young teens wouldn’t have sex in a room with other young teens in, how wrong they were! So glad I wasn’t allowed to go, a lot of my friends got up to a lot of stuff on group sleepovers that they really regretted.

I’m quite permissive, but no, I wouldn’t allow a mixed sleepover at that age. Your daughter might be annoyed at you for a bit if you say no, but if you say yes and something bad happens, she would be scarred for life. I think hormones plus lack of emotional maturity means caution is necessary.

I wouldn't and I am pretty liberal to be honest

In the circumstances you describe, no.

That said, I let Dd from age 10 with one of her closest friends, I was fairly sure he was gay, and even if not, there was highly unlikely to be anything going on then.
He came out age 12!

Another friend she'd known since v young, they really were just friends, still are, and he's her and her BF's joint best friend, in fact she lived with his family for a while.
She's 19 now.

Any sort of interest, no.

Is he not gay?

You could offer a compromise that the girls sleep in one room and he sleeps in another? So they still get to spend extended hours together and breakfast which is the part of the sleepover. There are times when it is necessary to exclude people. I also remember being a horny 14 year old! I don't think it matters if he might be gay separate rooms for the sexes is just common sense.

My teen son was best friends with a girl since reception class think the last sleepover they had they were around 11. I'd let her stay over if asked. My sons timid and shes a tom boy and lovely. Wouldnt let any other girl

Of course not. Completely inappropriate. Your daughter needs to learn proper boundaries from you.

Not a chance

At 14 being in a group sleepover did not stop me + the 1 boy from having full blown intercourse. Not a one off either.

Set boundaries, stick to them.

Op ae you asking whether she should go to a mixed sleep over at someone else's house, or would you be hosting it?
Either way would be a definite 'no: from me.

this is legit so wrong 😔😔