To think I won't need to plan our lives around naps?

[AnUnoriginalUsername]

We have a 7 week old baby. Just saw another thread and though "shit, nap schedules!"
Does everybody have set times and places for naps? Is it really important?
DS currently sleeps mostly on me but also in his rocking chair and sometimes in his cot. We cosleep.

Am I being insane to think he can just nap when he's tired wherever we are?

@Hallyup6

We took the same approach and it works well for us too.

Mum to a nearly 3yr old and 5mnth old. Never really planned anything around naps. I just think if I started to then there's no turning back. If I go into in the morning I try and get the kids down in the afternoon and vice versa. If I'm out all day they either nap on journey or in pram or they don't nap. If they don't nap I move bedtime from 7pm to 6.30pm. Both sleep through and have done from a couple of months. I've always put down in cot wide awake so that I'm not cuddling/feeding to sleep etc. BUT maybe I just have very easy babies?! Because I read some threads and see that sleep can be a real struggle so in those situations i can imagine routine is everything. So whatever works for you :)

Depends on the baby and the parent.

Both of mine napped happily in buggy, bed and sling and we were generally happy to go with that. DH was happy wandering around with a sleeping baby strapped to him. And at home I usually fed to sleep and had a snooze myself. If he fell asleep while we were out I’d either head home and make the best of it or just go to a cafe and enjoy some downtime with a book / phone.

M’y SIL didn’t use a sling and didn’t breastfeed. She hated her DS sleeping anywhere other than in his cot at set times in case he learned «bad habits» 🙄. She once tried to make us all rush off from a post-walk bière because she wanted to get her DS home before he it was too late for a nap. I’m afraid she went home alone.

@ChikiTIKI

I've never planned my life around nap times. If we are out for the day and they are tired, they fall asleep in their pram. Or sleep in the car on the way to/from something. I actually don't use the cot for nap times in the day anyway, I put the child in their pram and they sleep there anyway.

This is definitely the way to go if you can. Make it easy on yourself as much as possible and try to avoid strict routine - when they’re small, they will sleep in the buggy or car seat or wherever. When they’re bigger and still need a nap, if you can try to let them have their nap earlier in the day so it doesn’t interfere with bedtime.

People who plan round naps do you never have a day out? Or a holiday?

I have a 3yr old and 5mth old, we love being out and about too much to ever contemplate strict routines - if the children are tired they can sleep in the car/buggy/lying on some grass lol. If they fall asleep in the car on the way home too late, they can have a late bedtime. One of my best ever memories was 18mth old DS watching fireworks on DH's shoulders at Disneyland and clapping with glee at 11.30pm.

As young babies both of mine slept anywhere but by the age of 9mths they struggled anywhere other than their cot. I was fine with planning my day around their meals and nap times, in fact it made me get up and out in the mornings as I knew I’d need to be back for a certain time.

Newborns will sleep wherever. Older babies and toddlers.... not so much.

I thought the same as you before I had kids. Then I had DS1 (now 5) and whilst he napped on the go when v little, as soon as he became curious with the world (probs about 4-5months old) it became a real struggle. He also needed routine by that point as the 4 month sleep regression royally screwed our nights and we found a strict daytime nap routine sorted that out and he would then sleep through the night 7-7. Yes it was a bit annoying to plan around his naps, but most my mummy friends ended up having to do the same thing within a few months anyway.... and knowing he would sleep all night was well worth it!

@MaryShelley1818

People who plan round naps do you never have a day out? Or a holiday?

I have a 3yr old and 5mth old, we love being out and about too much to ever contemplate strict routines - if the children are tired they can sleep in the car/buggy/lying on some grass lol. If they fall asleep in the car on the way home too late, they can have a late bedtime. One of my best ever memories was 18mth old DS watching fireworks on DH's shoulders at Disneyland and clapping with glee at 11.30pm.

That's lovely but DD1 would have been screaming at 11.30pm at night. Both before her routine was introduced, and afterwards.

It must be lovely to have babies like yours but sadly some of ours are just inferior.

shocker! Not all kids are the same! 😱😱😱

We have never been routine driven, doesn't mean I don't totally get those who need to be.

No, you don't need schedules. Just go with the flow. Congratulations on your baby!

Depends on the child ime.

Ds1 was ultra flexible. Fell asleep wherever and whenever. I never had to say yes/no to something because of nap time. Was content to nap in a sling, buggy, on someone's lap, car seat, cot - not fussy.

Ds2 was born on a schedule of his own devising and woe betide the fool who messed with it. Also much preferred to be in his own cot in a quiet room thanks very much.

Both treated the same, both came with their own personalities and made that clear from fairly early on.

4dc, never had a nap routine. I quickly learnt with dc1 that meeting their ever changing needs was far better than sticking to a routine. So much influences children's night sleep/naps needs, such as growth spurts/illness/weather/ etc etc etc that it was far more beneficial to them and me to have a very flexible attitude. Even now as teenagers/young adults they still have extra sleep and naps when they are ill or having a growth spurt!

While they’re newborns sure, but DS never really has a proper nap in the pram/car seat.

Never scheduled naps or rushed home for ds to nap

Or tiptoed around ds when he was napping he didn’t need to be in a room with blackout curtains with absolutely no noise

But some babies are more sensitive

Having had 3 with varying degrees of awful napping/sleeping, with hindsight I would recommend the ‘ignore the planned nap schedule’. As an initial plan at least.

My eldest was a shocking sleeper; hardly slept day or night. I wasted hundreds of daytime hours in dark rooms, white noise, rubbing bellies etc etc, spent £££ on books about improving sleep etc. Nothing worked. I missed meet ups, social groups. All whilst trying to get a non sleeping baby to nap at home. It was sheer desperation to try and improve the nights. Looking back, I would have been better focusing on my own mental health, and accepting that my baby was not going to nap at home in the day (or sleep for longer than 40 mins at night either 🙄).

By the third I was more relaxed; if they would nap at home and I was in I would try, if not I’d carry on my day and go out. They always napped when pushed out so as long as they kipped I trained myself to not be bothered where/how it happened.

When I had little babies who napped at least 3 times a day I very quickly learned I could bugger around with one nap, not more.

In my experience, yes, but for such a short time it comes and goes and you wish they still napped but they don’t….

But god, when they go down for 2 hours in the day you don’t fuck with that. You do everything in your power to have that peace where you can just do whatever you need to do.

Or have a nap yourself if you're at home, ie not back to work yet. I did, we would sleep together. It was lovely!

I have had one who would sleep anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Sometimes short naps, sometimes long naps. Sometimes at home, sometimes out.

I have also had one who’s naps had to be at a particular time, in a particular place, in a particular way. Failure to adhere to their strict sleep conditions would result in hell for everyone.

I didn’t really get a say. Both had pros and cons.

‘The parents with the nap schedule were stressed.’

Nope I have never been stressed about naps really. I just like having a routine and it works for my children who have both slept through from about 8 weeks.

‘People who plan round naps do you never have a day out? Or a holiday’

Yes of course but the rhythm of getting out early has always worked for us. I’d rather be at an attraction at opening while it’s quiet. We’d then get lunch and plan in a nap in the car on the way home. It doesn’t bother me to book days out or meals at times that will work for my children (and make our lives easier).

Eas (ier) with a small baby. I did find older children would struggle to nap and could easily get over stimulated over tired. You DO see toddlers asleep in pushchairs but they dont all do that past a year or so.
Definitely make the most of the portable years!

C1 napped brilliantly at home, equally would nap out in buggy or car
C2 did not sleep. Ever. I soon learnt that his overtiredness was more easily managed if I planned some quiet time at home away from any stimulus each day. Still didn’t sleep but was less of a screaming overwhelmed nightmare.
C3 initially only napped out and about but that was a real pain when I was tired or had loads to get done but instead had to push a pram around for 2 hours
C4 As child 3, now naps brilliantly at home (2 hrs plus) but would only have max 40 mins out. I try to be home for naps because it’s the only child free time I get but don’t stress if we have somewhere to go. Just try to plan car or buggy journey around usual nap time so they at least get some nap time.

I have to say though that none of mine (even the good sleepers) would have “just gone to sleep if they were tired”, my friend’s daughter would just lie down and go to sleep in the middle of toddler group etc but all of mine would have to be rocked when tiny babies or pushed in pram when bigger.

I've had three babies and it's been a mixed bag to be honest.
Two of them absolutely had to be at home in pitch black dark with white noise.

The middle one was a bit easier.

He could nap in the car and I'd hand out there until he was awake.

But generally speaking if a young baby (say 5 months) sleeps outside while you shop with movement and background noise, when you get that buggy home to a still quiet house they are likely to wake.

I have a suspicion that parents who had babies during lockdown have more rigid nap schedules than they otherwise would have done, because there's been nothing else to do.

I have an 18 month old and he generally sleeps in his cot for 2+ hours after lunch. We've recently started getting out and about more now restrictions are lifted. I took him out to an attraction recently and he fell asleep in his buggy on the way home. He was asleep less than an hour before we got home. I thought he'd be absolutely knackered by bedtime or have a really disturbed night's sleep or something - nope, totally just took it in his stride. So now if we're having a day out we try to make sure he's in the buggy or car around lunchtime and he gets a bit of a snooze then and is fine.

The 2 hour cot naps are really good for getting stuff done/sitting down with a cup of tea though, so don't want to discourage them completely!

No.you can choose to have your life revolve around naps or you can get on and have the infant fit in. Usually it’s firstborn children that need specific times and places for naps.