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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think they can't do this? A wedding one

40 replies

marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:17

Wedding booked for end of November this year. We booked it about two years ago and signed a contract. We were told by the events manager at the time that we could provide a certain amount of alcohol per person and then their bar would need to be used which was fine with us.

The venue now has a new manager who is saying there is a corkage charge per bottle and that we also have to pay an hourly rate for their bar to be open. Really upset as we haven't budgeted for this and it wasn't what we agreed when we booked it. AIBU to think they can't just add these costs on last minute? Advice appreciated not sure where we stand Confused?

Not sure if it matters but the ownership hasn't changed just the management!

OP posts:
Bumblenums1234 · 01/07/2021 19:20

I think you need to check your contract with the company and refer back to it with your response. This would all have been included whne you signed and they can't just change it last minute.

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:23

Hi

Thanks for responding. Sorry I should have said.. The contract is silent about it and doesn't say anything about corkage either way. It was all verbally discussed which I realise now we should have got in writing just didn't think about it at the time it's a social club type place so quite informal

OP posts:
Mayaspecialist · 01/07/2021 19:23

Was there anything in the contract that says they were waiving the corkage fee? Or anything in the literature, saying they don't charge corkage fees?

Meggymoo777 · 01/07/2021 19:24

I have worked as a wedding coordinator and short answer... no, they can't do this. You have a contract signed, get all communication from the venue together and as long as there is no mention of corkage fees, bar fees (I'm a bit WTF over this one!) and your numbers haven't dropped significantly then they haven't a leg to stand on and quite frankly I'd be looking at plan Bs for your venue after this treatment.

Meggymoo777 · 01/07/2021 19:26

Oooh and check all of their public wedding info on website and brochure to be sure there's no small print about corkage/bar fees.

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:31

Hi

Thanks.

It doesn't say either way, looking back it's not a very clear contract to be honest. Website also silent as to any corkage.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 01/07/2021 19:33

Well if those things were agreed informally orally and you don’t have anything written that’s not helpful.
They can’t change the terms of the contract. Whether written or oral. The very fact the new manager is setting out the terms does suggest a change - ie indicates that the previous agreement was Indeed different.
If it were me my first step would be a strong ‘why are you seeking to change my contract now? Here is what my agreement was (set it out). I don’t accept this change. I liaised with x (name of previous) and he/she will confirm our agreement’.

vincettenoir · 01/07/2021 19:34

It might be worth coming to a compromise. E.g ‘Due to the lack of notice we would appreciate it if you reduced the corkage price to X amount per bottle and scrapped the hourly rate’...or something like that.

Sportsnight · 01/07/2021 19:36

I would expect to pay some sort of fee for that, as they will need to staff the bar to serve your drinks.

HeronLanyon · 01/07/2021 19:36

Did you by any chance text or email anyone about your agreement at the time ? Or dated list in a word doc or similar ? Just thinking what evidence you may actually have.
If you don’t get anywhere batting the new manager back then is there a management committee you need to write to complaining about the attempt to change what has been agreed ?

Theunamedcat · 01/07/2021 19:38

If its not in there terms and conditions then or now by what reasons are they charging you?

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:43

Thanks for everyone's replies. Nothing very helpful via email the old manager wasn't very communicative generally and we just agreed verbally when we went to see the venue and pay the deposit. I realise how stupid we were now.

The new manager said the changes are coming from the committee so I don't think they'll be very sympathetic but I will complain properly to them. She said it's because they had a wedding recently it got out of hand where loads of alcohol was snuck in but we really aren't going to do that, we can only to provide a limited amount anyway!

And yes I realise they need to staff the bar but we already paid £250 to secure it and are paying for the venue so I assumed the costs were covered within that. What they're asking for now is an addition to that

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 01/07/2021 19:43

@Sportsnight

I would expect to pay some sort of fee for that, as they will need to staff the bar to serve your drinks.
Not sure that I would expect that, if they are charging the same bar prices as they normally would and staffing level is matched to the number of guests, then it's the same as any other normal night the club is open, surely?
WaltzingBetty · 01/07/2021 19:46

Do you have anything with the agreed price written down? If so then you need to go back to them and say this is the price that was agreed. Full stop.
They can't just pile on extras

TheUndoingProject · 01/07/2021 19:47

So they’re are admitting that these are changes? It that makes it seem pretty clear cut that it’s not what you agreed to originally. I’d try and get the acknowledgment that it’s a change in writing…

ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 19:51

If the committee is worried because of what happened at a previous wedding, I'm sure there is some sort of compromise you can come to.

Basically, they want assurance that their bar will be used enough to cover their costs or make them money.

You can't afford corkage.

See if there's somewhere in between all that for an agreement to be made.

Maybe offer to take all the booze in beforehand, and promise that no more will be brought in?

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:51

@TheUndoingProject

So they’re are admitting that these are changes? It that makes it seem pretty clear cut that it’s not what you agreed to originally. I’d try and get the acknowledgment that it’s a change in writing…
Yes they've said the bar is running differently now....
OP posts:
ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 19:51

Because simply charging corkage wouldn't have stopped that previous wedding party from sneaking booze in - would actually have encouraged it!

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:52

@ThursdayWeld

If the committee is worried because of what happened at a previous wedding, I'm sure there is some sort of compromise you can come to.

Basically, they want assurance that their bar will be used enough to cover their costs or make them money.

You can't afford corkage.

See if there's somewhere in between all that for an agreement to be made.

Maybe offer to take all the booze in beforehand, and promise that no more will be brought in?

Hi

Thanks yes that's a good idea I would happily do that will try this and see what they say

OP posts:
ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 19:52

Appeal to their better nature. Explain that you are not like those other people, and you are very disappointed because you love their venue but your budget does not cover corkage.

user432543424532 · 01/07/2021 19:58

She said it's because they had a wedding recently it got out of hand where loads of alcohol was snuck in but we really aren't going to do that, we can only to provide a limited amount anyway!

But they don't know that and people say all kinds of things they don't mean or that aren't true, so they need to protect themselves. The previous wedding probably said the same thing as you beforehand too!

You mention it being a social club with a committee so that sounds to me like a 'members' club'/'private association' type organisation rather than a business which means they're not in this to make a profit and have to cover their costs otherwise it has to come from the members - it isn't fair for them to fund your wedding whatever your budget.

So negotiate an agreement with them and get it writing this time, but do keep in mind their perspective. Offer them a way to verify you won't abuse the agreement other than simply taking your word for it and see what can be agreed that works for both sides.

MissConductUS · 01/07/2021 20:02

We had an open bar at our wedding and just paid the running tab at the end. Perhaps offer to prepay for a certain number of drinks.

I agree about appealing to their better nature. They were burned one time but will hurt themselves in the long run if they change the terms so that fewer people want to use the venue.

Original poster
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 20:04

@user432543424532

She said it's because they had a wedding recently it got out of hand where loads of alcohol was snuck in but we really aren't going to do that, we can only to provide a limited amount anyway!

But they don't know that and people say all kinds of things they don't mean or that aren't true, so they need to protect themselves. The previous wedding probably said the same thing as you beforehand too!

You mention it being a social club with a committee so that sounds to me like a 'members' club'/'private association' type organisation rather than a business which means they're not in this to make a profit and have to cover their costs otherwise it has to come from the members - it isn't fair for them to fund your wedding whatever your budget.

So negotiate an agreement with them and get it writing this time, but do keep in mind their perspective. Offer them a way to verify you won't abuse the agreement other than simply taking your word for it and see what can be agreed that works for both sides.

Hi

Thanks I'm not expecting them to fund the wedding at all - we are paying to hire the place and have paid money for the bar. They will make money on the bar anyway the drinks aren't especially cheap.

It's more that if we knew about the corkage and these costs earlier we would have used the budget differently or probably have booked a different venue. I know they have no way of knowing we aren't going to behave badly so I will see if there is a compromise but the last communication I had didn't seem like they will budge at all so will see

OP posts:
ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 20:06

Go in for a meeting, if you can. People can be more accommodating face to face.

AliceW89 · 01/07/2021 20:07

I’d be livid OP and I’m sorry this has happened to you. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but if I had been verbally assured what you describe, I’m not sure ensuring it was formally written down would have been high on my priority list. A lot of wedding venues seem to rely on the fact that there is no way you are going to cancel your day (especially in the current climate) and therefore they sneak charges in left, right and centre, knowing you’ll find the money, somehow.

I actually think the hourly rate for the bar is more obscene. It’s definitely an hourly rate and not a deposit you will get back if your guests spend enough? I would be miffed, but corkage is one of those things that comes with wedding territory. But surely a bar, something so fundamental to a wedding (in my mind!) should be rolled into the cost of venue hire which you had already agreed to? I would be seriously coming down hard on them about that.