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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think they can't do this? A wedding one

40 replies

marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 19:17

Wedding booked for end of November this year. We booked it about two years ago and signed a contract. We were told by the events manager at the time that we could provide a certain amount of alcohol per person and then their bar would need to be used which was fine with us.

The venue now has a new manager who is saying there is a corkage charge per bottle and that we also have to pay an hourly rate for their bar to be open. Really upset as we haven't budgeted for this and it wasn't what we agreed when we booked it. AIBU to think they can't just add these costs on last minute? Advice appreciated not sure where we stand Confused?

Not sure if it matters but the ownership hasn't changed just the management!

OP posts:
marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 20:21

Thanks Alice yes it has been so stressful!

I will look at other venues but I think we will struggle to find anywhere else now.

Basically we paid money to have the bar when we first booked, the contract said bar open between 4pm and 11pm but they now say they won't open the bar until 7pm and if we want it for the three hours difference we have to pay the new hourly rate. I'm not actually sure what the rate is they haven't said so it might not be too much but with the corkage too we are already over what we wanted to spend. I agree a bar is pretty fundamental to a wedding and we won't be leaving our guests without drinks for three hours but it's just different to what was said when we booked it

OP posts:
CharlieWorkCharlieSad · 01/07/2021 20:21

Wait a minute...

If you have no written and signed contract then you have no leg to stand on.

marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 20:25

@CharlieWorkCharlieSad

Wait a minute...

If you have no written and signed contract then you have no leg to stand on.

Hi

We do have a written signed contract from 2019 when we booked it but there's no mention on it if corkage or charges for the bar to be open it only says it would be open between 4 and 11. They have said they are now running it differently

OP posts:
ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 20:27

Well that's just not on!

AliceW89 · 01/07/2021 20:30

@marleymummy793

Thanks Alice yes it has been so stressful!

I will look at other venues but I think we will struggle to find anywhere else now.

Basically we paid money to have the bar when we first booked, the contract said bar open between 4pm and 11pm but they now say they won't open the bar until 7pm and if we want it for the three hours difference we have to pay the new hourly rate. I'm not actually sure what the rate is they haven't said so it might not be too much but with the corkage too we are already over what we wanted to spend. I agree a bar is pretty fundamental to a wedding and we won't be leaving our guests without drinks for three hours but it's just different to what was said when we booked it

I’m no legal expert so hopefully someone can come along and correct me, but if you’ve got a contract saying that the bar will be operational from 4pm-11pm and you’ve signed and paid with that understanding, they can’t then change it to ’give us more money or 7pm’?

Obviously that doesn’t help you with the corkage but it’s a bit of a saving and shows you are not pissing around…they sound like absolute chambers.

AliceW89 · 01/07/2021 20:31

*absolute chancers

CastleCrasher · 01/07/2021 20:31

So you have a written contract with the price and that the bar will be open for the times you want? Them they don't have a leg to stand on. Show them the contract, explain to them that they cannot impose changes to it, and mine on to enjoying your day Wine

marleymummy793 · 01/07/2021 20:32

@ThursdayWeld

Well that's just not on!
Yes I know it's put a real dampener on it all to be honest :( don't want to make things awkward on the day by arguing but the suggestions for compromise have been helpful so I'll try that. I was determined I didn't want to get into debt for the wedding so we were careful to try and choose what (we thought) was a venue we could afford
OP posts:
ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 20:34

Make that clear to them. Show them a human face. They are treating you really badly!

Maybe post in Legal and ask for advice?

ThursdayWeld · 01/07/2021 20:34

@CastleCrasher

So you have a written contract with the price and that the bar will be open for the times you want? Them they don't have a leg to stand on. Show them the contract, explain to them that they cannot impose changes to it, and mine on to enjoying your day Wine
Well that depends on what the contract says. It may say "subject to changes", or something. OP needs some legal advice.
user432543424532 · 01/07/2021 20:41

If they've introduced these rules it will be because it wasn't financially viable the way it was. Ime prices in social clubs tend to be higher because they can't access the kind of volume discounts businesses can and have a harder time covering their costs due to their income base. May not be the case here, but an observation.

I do appreciate the predicament you're in with your budget and I didn't mean that you would intentionally be expecting them to sub you, but if they can't cover their costs then that is the effect.

I would try putting forward some kind of proposal that gives something that will be attractive to them as well as being easier to you, rather than simply asking for reductions or changes that benefit you. Be creative. Offer them something even if all you're actually doing is reiterating what they get out of it.

Effect is the same if they agree but psychologically the former may be better received. Simply asking them to waive fees in exchange for nothing is not very appealing. Humans are loss averse and people tend to be more accommodating when they feel they benefit from agreeing rather than simply yielding to requests for discounts or whatever iyswim.

So instead of an isolated question of "can you waive the corkage?" for instance, winding back a bit and setting out in more of a format like "we will do xyz, which will enable you to (verify how much alcohol we are bringing, ensure the bar is only opened for the right number of hours...), we would be grateful if you would then do abc, which will..."

Obviously quite how you word it will depend on specifics of situation and how the discussions are going, but I find I get more success when I propose things more as a sales pitch about how the other side is going to benefit even though I'm actually asking them to agree something for me that I need!

It doesn't hurt to say something like "we are disappointed that your policies have changed since our original verbal agreement, but we want to work with you to reach an agreement that works for us both..." but stay calm and try not to trigger them to go on the defensive.

I hope you manage to reach a resolution.

AliceW89 · 01/07/2021 20:46

I’m so livid for you OP I’m posting again. We had a similar experience with our wedding venue changing the terms of our bar service weeks before, but nowhere near as bad as yours!

Id go all out. Show them the contract, say you are 100% not paying for the extra 3 hours. Say you also are not prepared to pay corkage, but you are happy to put down a deposit behind the bar (whatever you can stretch to - as much as they are roughly asking for corkage maybe - you might need to negotiate) which will be refunded when they’ve made over that amount. If they are genuinely concerned about not meeting their overheads due to a previous bad experience, they should accept that with open arms as it’s cash upfront. If they are chancing their arm, they won’t be able to hide.

Or I mean you could get legal advice as a PP has said, that might be better 😬 I just find the cheekiness of some sections of the wedding industry obscene.

user432543424532 · 01/07/2021 20:51

Oh, sorry, the page hadn't loaded your updates.

I think it will come down to the wording in the contract tbh and how it is phrased as to whether it was clear you were paying whatever fee in the contract in exchange for the bar to be open from 4-11, or whether the bit you are referring to was informational saying that the bar is open from or could be open from 4-11 with an opening for separate fees.

You'll need to have a close read of it and the exact wording.

I was also wondering whether to suggest offering a deposit like a pp.

I wouldn't view it as arguing, so much as reminding them of contract terms and discussing a way forward.

AJGranny · 01/07/2021 21:51

Dear....
The contract that we signed made no mention of corkage charges and we will not be agreeing to their addition at this stage. Furthermore, the contract already outlines the hours of operation for bar provision and the cost of this service is already included in the agreed upon fees.
To be very clear, we do not appreciate, nor do we agree to, the changes you are attempting to impose upon the contract. We expect services to be provided as stipulated in the contract and at the price already agreed.
Sincerely,....

CorpusCallosum · 01/07/2021 21:55

Good luck in your negotiations.

Our venue tried to do this when we got married years ago. Corkage went up from £3-4/bottle to £10-12. We were in the same situation but when I emailed to say (politely) 'Hey!! What do you think you're doing?!' They backed down straightaway and honoured the original price. Fingers crossed your venue is similarly reasonable 🤞

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