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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Running directly behind a Horse 😱😱!

175 replies

StephieSlade · 29/06/2021 14:25

AIBU to think that even non horsey people should know not to run up directly behind a horse? I came off on Sunday after my mare spooked and stumbled after a small child, and her dog ran up behind her. Child's parents were slightly further back along the bridle path. Thankfully my horse doesn't kick, and I'm not blaming the child for my fall, as I'd have sat the scuttle forward, if she hadn't tripped. However, I'm cringing at the thought of that, or another child running up behind another horse on the street that possibly might kick😣😣😣.

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 29/06/2021 19:58

People who think you can control a horse: you can, within certain parameters. It's a lot bigger and stronger than a human, unlike a dog, in case you hadn't noticed? So yes, normally the rider has control of the horse, but if the horse gets a fright, it will behave instinctively and kick or bolt BECAUSE IT'S A HORSE. That's what they do.

PawsQueen · 29/06/2021 20:00

@Snufkinhastherightidea no Confused
My parents ran a pub, I'm hardly posh! I rode as much as I could, worked in exchange for lessons, begged and borrowed horses and then my grandad gave up driving, sold his car and bought me a horse. It was cheaper back then for lessons though, and much easier to clamber on anyone's horse who would let you
People with horses are generally skint, it all goes on the bloody horse!

Iquitit · 29/06/2021 20:07

@Snufkinhastherightidea

So are all these references to ignorant “non horsey people” veiled insults towards the plebs who have grown up in towns and cities and whose parents don’t have the money for riding lessons (and probably know little about horses themselves)? Basically if you are a posh wanker with a horse you should just ride it around your giant estate and leave the commoners to have their walks in peace.
While I don't agree with jibes towards anyone, veiled or not, I do think this attitude and stereotype is half the problem when it comes to horses.

I'm a minimum wage worker who goes without other stuff to have a horse, I want it that way, I don't ride anymore because he's retired, but he's going nowhere until he goes to the big paddock in the sky. But people don't want to listen to me when they come into contact with my horse, because I'm a 'posh wanker with a big estate'
🙄

Snufkinhastherightidea · 29/06/2021 20:20

Well if your grandad had a car you definitely were posh. If you have something to sell to buy a horse then you are well off and if you have a horse you’re not skint don’t even pretend. Most people cannot have a horse simple as.

Zwellers · 29/06/2021 20:24

Why do you expect people to know that. Not all of us live in the country or deal with horses you know. It's not exactly taught at school.

Zwellers · 29/06/2021 20:27

A its from this thread I have learnt what a bridleway is! Don't think I have seen a horse in real life.

PawsQueen · 29/06/2021 20:30

@Snufkinhastherightidea how do you come to that conclusion? I'm not that old that cars were rare! My horse was £700, my grandad had to stop driving due to glaucoma

I grew up in Bolton, I'm hardly from the leafy countryside. Fell in love with it on a donkey ride in Blackpool and then spent every Saturday and Sunday mucking out and helping for a 30 min ride at a riding school
I don't own now due to my job but I part loan which is £120pm and compared to some hobbies isn't a massive amount. There are always people looking for help in exchange for riding

I just wish people wouldn't keep banging on that people with horses are entitled and posh, I've worked as everything from bar staff to a carer, I'm not even middle class let alone posh

NewYearNewTwatName · 29/06/2021 20:35

Zwellers
Why do you expect people to know that. Not all of us live in the country or deal with horses you know. It's not exactly taught at school

Erm common sense 🤷‍♀️ it's a big fucking anima.

Don't need to live in the country to know horses can kick.

lastqueenofscotland · 29/06/2021 20:39

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I am a very experienced rider (it used to be my job!!) my mare occasionally spooks, she will walk past tractors and then a leaf will look at her funny and she’ll shy (and I’ll never forget the time my life flashed before my eyes when a bird flew into her head…)
I regain control quickly but can I literally stop her shying or kicking? No.
And if any of the people who have obviously never been within 6ft of a horse would like to tell me how to control her please do… I’ll also pass the information on to my previous bosses… who all trained horses for a living.
It’s also much easier for a parent to grab their child and say “don’t run behind” than it is to stop a horse from kicking out (seriously how am I meant to stop that?!)

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/06/2021 20:41

@DistrictCommissioner

I think this really depends on where you live (and where the child lives). I can't imagine having made sure to tell my 5 year that you don't walk behind a horse if he was never up close to one, and I can easily imagine a city based life where this wouldn't ever have arisen.

But the parents should have called the child & dog back when they saw you ahead of them.

Clearly they live somewhere where people ride horses
Ch3rish · 29/06/2021 20:44

Clearly they live somewhere where people ride horses

Unless the OP lives somewhere that visitors from the outside aren't allowed we have no idea where the child lives

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/06/2021 20:44

Dd was riding her horse on the beach earlier this year, first thing in the morning. A small dog chased them, snarled at them the n bit dds horses tail and hung off it. The woman who owned the dog got there before I did, grabbed the dog from behind, slipped, fell under dhorse.

Luckily dhorse just stood there looking mildly at the shenanigans

Dobbyafreeelf · 29/06/2021 21:07

@Zwellers

Why do you expect people to know that. Not all of us live in the country or deal with horses you know. It's not exactly taught at school.
@Zwellers don't be so bloody ridiculous!! Common sense tells you it's a big fucking animal and could seriously hurt a child without meaning to purely to its size. You don't need to know anything about horses it's Hardly rocket science.
Bryonyshcmyony · 29/06/2021 21:09

I think you have to be seriously thick not to realise that big animals aren't the same as bikes and might possibly have a mind of their own.

Iquitit · 29/06/2021 21:09

[quote PawsQueen]@Snufkinhastherightidea how do you come to that conclusion? I'm not that old that cars were rare! My horse was £700, my grandad had to stop driving due to glaucoma

I grew up in Bolton, I'm hardly from the leafy countryside. Fell in love with it on a donkey ride in Blackpool and then spent every Saturday and Sunday mucking out and helping for a 30 min ride at a riding school
I don't own now due to my job but I part loan which is £120pm and compared to some hobbies isn't a massive amount. There are always people looking for help in exchange for riding

I just wish people wouldn't keep banging on that people with horses are entitled and posh, I've worked as everything from bar staff to a carer, I'm not even middle class let alone posh [/quote]
Yes, seems beyond the reach of some people that someone just falls in love with an animal and does what they can to be around them.
I too learned to ride in return for work, trained with horses as a working pupil and had my stuff and exams paid for by saving money from birthday, Christmas and working PT in a pub while I trained in the evening and my one day off.
I learned enough to keep a horse happy and healthy on a budget, which is what I do now - with my horse, who was given to me by a man who knew me from my training, he had to give up riding and wanted the horse in a good home rather than sell him for money - I had to think long and hard about what I was willing to sacrifice in order to have him, I don't have holidays, nights out maybe twice a year etc, rent a field and do all the maintenance myself.
Quite far removed from the posh stereotype.

Dobbyafreeelf · 29/06/2021 21:12

What I find bizarre is how some posters expect everyone but themselves to take responsibility for the safety of their kid! I'm sorry but no that's your job as a parent!! Not the horse owner for somehow preventing a child running up to their horse or their horse kicking out. Or the dog owner whose dog snaps at a kid for running up and scaring the dog. Or the car driver who must magically be able to stop when your brat runs/cycles/scoots out in front with no warning or time to stop.

LolaSmiles · 29/06/2021 21:19

Dobbyafreeelf
There's responsibility on all sides. A horse rider or a dog owner should take suitable steps to be responsible for them and their animals. Equally parents have a responsibility for their children.

willstarttomorrow · 29/06/2021 21:27

Maybe I am being totally wrong here, but it feels like it is one of those things I grew up knowing but has got lost. So even though I was never taught when driving about horses on the road, I have a very clear memory of my dad driving and saying 'horses are easily spooked- drive very carefully'. Same with approaching random dogs, cows/sheep in fields. There was just an unspoken level of responsibility to interact appropriately with wildlife and other humans and their pets/horses etc.

Snufkinhastherightidea · 29/06/2021 21:32

Well people always claim they worked hard for stuff and aren’t wealthy but then their explanations are peppered with things like...given a horse... grandad sold a car....given money for birthdays and Christmas.... worked to pay for it (not having to just work, you know, to pay the bills). You do know that loads of kids fall in love with an animal and just actually can’t have them don’t you.
Anyway none of this is the point of the thread. The point of the thread is that both horse riders and parents of children have responsibilities. But somehow became full of people laughing and insulting people who have no experience of horses and don’t know what a bridle path is.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 29/06/2021 21:39

Stupidity comes from all sides sometimes. I used to know someone who allowed her toddler to sit in the field with her big warmblood and pick food up out of its bucket while it ate. How the child was never splatted into oblivion, I have no idea. And this is someone who owned a horse - though god knows why as she could neither ride it nor look after it adequately.

My mare has twatted a few loose dogs for hanging off her tail on bridleways - never done any damage as I don't give her weapons - but I do despair of some dog owners.

I don't have too many issues with kids because they're usually pretty noisy and it's hard to creep up on a horse if you're screaming "I LOVE YOUR HORSEY!" at the top of your voice Grin I'm quite happy to stop and let them say hi if it's safe. I may be a posh twat (apparently) but I'm not a bastard Grin

willstarttomorrow · 29/06/2021 21:39

Just to add, a friend has a medical assistance dog. I am dumbfounded by the number of adults who do not understand it is not okay to pet the the dog whilst working, let alone teach children about this. This is not new, I grew up knowing this. It feels like people have become really disconnected from other people's lives and as a result take little responsibility or have no awareness of how to behave in certain situations. Most horse owners are very responsible but at the end of the day, horses are not human and there needs to be caution around even a thoroughly trained and docile horse. This is not a difficult thing to underatand so it is not unreasonable to expect people to be cautious.

ShortBacknSides · 29/06/2021 21:50

Rather than PARENTS who should be looking after their own children to control their own tiny and innocent child who is running up to a giant dangerous (by virtue of its comparative size) animal?!

Exactly @DoylyCarte

I think in the last 18 months a lot of people have taken up going for a walk who probably rarely got out of their cars before, and consequently behaviour in rural and country areas has deteriorated - I was walking in a local beauty spot yesterday and noticed at least 4 plastic bags of dog poo left by the side of the path in the first 20 metres - and this is a steep uphil path, and not an obvious circular walk, so I doubt they were left there with the dog owners’ intention of picking them up on the way home.

You only have to see recent news bulletins about the atrocious amount of litter ignorant people are leaving in the Lake District.

So parents being stupid about controlling dogs and children is probably part of the “new normal.” Still, I suppose it means people are getting off their —fat— arses and out into the countryside. It’s just a pity they are so ignorant about the basic ways of behaving ...

Iquitit · 29/06/2021 21:54

@Snufkinhastherightidea

Well people always claim they worked hard for stuff and aren’t wealthy but then their explanations are peppered with things like...given a horse... grandad sold a car....given money for birthdays and Christmas.... worked to pay for it (not having to just work, you know, to pay the bills). You do know that loads of kids fall in love with an animal and just actually can’t have them don’t you. Anyway none of this is the point of the thread. The point of the thread is that both horse riders and parents of children have responsibilities. But somehow became full of people laughing and insulting people who have no experience of horses and don’t know what a bridle path is.
None of which make me a 'posh wanker' with my own estate does it? I'm lucky I was given a horse. Never had my own, and probably still wouldn't if I hadn't been, that wouldn't change the experience I have though. I wanted to train and work with horses, like some people want to work and train at other jobs. I was lucky I went to school with the daughter of the local riding stables to be able to be around horses and learn to ride - but the point is I didn't learn to ride because I had rich parents, I learned to ride because I worked at the stables - which I enjoyed as much as the riding - and got the rides in payment. Working pupil places are very popular, they enable you to work in return for your training, they're also cheap labour for the stables. The point being that I didn't have rich parents to fund the training (which would have been a lot easier and shorter!)

The whole point being that you don't have to have rich parents/family to be around horses, work with them etc. The BHS and other organisations have done a fair amount of work in trying to make equestrian pursuits open to everyone and not just the elite, I'm a product of that, and some good luck.

I agree with you on the insulting people who don't know about horses or bridleways - but I also think that if you're entering a place that you aren't familiar with, it's your responsibility to make sure you know the expectations, and in all honesty, when you can see something weighs half a ton, and has metal feet, and you know you know nothing about it, why do you need telling to not run at it, or telling you need to tell your child not to run at it? You don't need any experience with horses to see the potential danger.
But also, you insulted people and have refused to believe myself and another poster about how we came to be with horses, that you don't have to be privileged and rich to have one or have experience of them, and that's likely because of your preconceived notions about horse owners.

ShortBacknSides · 29/06/2021 21:55

Basically if you are a posh wanker with a horse you should just ride it around your giant estate and leave the commoners to have their walks in peace.

Yes @Snufkinhastherightidea that’s what everyone’s been saying in this thread.

Cherrysoup · 29/06/2021 21:59

A client’s child was running riot around the yard one day, I was leading my horse to his stable, he spooked and nearly had me over. I bollocked the parent, there are signs saying clients should not be in that area and strict rules about how to behave on the yard. Horses are big unpredictable animals with their individual characters, not robots. Controlling 650kg of scared horse can be tricky.