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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for experiences of sectioning family members

41 replies

Absentia · 28/06/2021 12:06

Its looking like a family member will be sectioned in the next few days. Doctors have sought a warrant and the police are booked.

I have been contacted to provide access to their house (I have a key) so that they don't have to break down the door.

I wonder if anyone would be willing to share any experiences of a similar situation. I love my family member very much and I fear that my relationship will be destroyed after this, partly due to their illness itself.

I don't know whether to accompany the professional in, in an attempt to try and 'look after' my relative or whether to keep our of the way.

Any thoughts?

I imagine this will be a very scary experience for my relative and wish to support them as well as I can.

And I hope very much that people who have experience of similar situations have healthy family members now who received the help that they needed.

OP posts:
shouldistop · 28/06/2021 16:03

I don't know whether to accompany the professional in, in an attempt to try and 'look after' my relative or whether to keep our of the way.

I think you need to take the advice of the professional on this one.

suspiria777 · 28/06/2021 16:29

the mind.org website may offer some advice in this regard, especially wrt to your responsibilities as the "nearest relative" (assuming you are?) (this is a legal status, not actually about relative closeness) and what your family member's legal rights are.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/nearest-relative/overview/
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/police-and-mental-health/overview/
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/sectioning/overview/

donquixotedelamancha · 28/06/2021 18:35

I think you need to take the advice of the professional on this one.

True, but OP will know the family member best.

I've been there for the sectioning of a family member in complete psychotic breakdown- totally detached from reality- and still having her husband there helped.

I think, if possible, it wants to be peacefully going outside for a little ride to get help and having you try (for as long as you feel able) is worth it.

Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 18:37

I’ve been sectioned, happy to share my experiences if it will help?

donquixotedelamancha · 28/06/2021 18:37

FWIW my relative has been completely recovered for a number of years. This is going to be unpleasant for you OP but its, hopefully, the first step to fixing the issues.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 28/06/2021 18:39

those attending will be well experienced, it wont be shocking op.

DeathByWalkies · 28/06/2021 18:43

I love my family member very much and I fear that my relationship will be destroyed after this, partly due to their illness itself.

Would you be able to provide a key - but not actually be there when they're sectioned - and then visit asap once they're in hospital?

HidingFromTheChildren · 28/06/2021 18:47

My mother had to be sectioned a few times & my gran was the only one that took control of the situation. It always took a few months of her being ill to get her sectioned as they'd never do anything unless she was a risk to others or herself.

My mother resented it throughout her life, always thought it was wrong. They always had a strained relationship.

I

HidingFromTheChildren · 28/06/2021 18:49

It does depend on the characteristics of why they were sectioned.

Bluesheep8 · 28/06/2021 19:08

@Scutterbug

I think it's both very brave and very kind of you to offer to do that Flowers

Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 19:09

[quote Bluesheep8]@Scutterbug

I think it's both very brave and very kind of you to offer to do that Flowers[/quote]
Thank you. That’s kind! I’m quite open about it and therefore find it quite easy to talk about.

Rubyupbeat · 28/06/2021 19:50

I think you should be there, it is very scary and it won't be one person entering, it's their gp, hospital doctor and police, its horrible.

Rubyupbeat · 28/06/2021 19:50

Oh and ambulance crew

Original poster
Absentia · 28/06/2021 20:25

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice.

The doctor who will be there has never met my parent, nor have the social workers and I fear it will almost be a nightmarish situation to be woken up by police and strangers in your bedroom saying that you must go with them. It would be scary for anyone, I would think but for someone who perhaps is paranoid, obsessed with being in control and fearful anyway, I'm worried that it will be terrifying.

@Scutterbug, thank you very much for your offer - I would dearly love to know some of your experience that you feel able to share, either here or by pm.

My understanding is that we will all be at their house - the police, ambulance crew, the psych consultant and the social workers. I will then open the door and do whatever I'm asked to do.

It is thought that my parent will need to be assessed longer than the initial 36hr hold and we're expecting them to reapply for a second section for 28 days. I'm worried about whether I'll get a chance to talk to the doctors on the ward, what with covid, and then also confidentiality as we're expecting my parent to refuse to have anything to do with me from that point (parent has warned me many times about what will happen if I 'betray' them and how I have to be very sure if I ever do anything like this as they will punish me and other loved ones).

My soul is screaming for me not to be in this situation but there is no one else (and I'm extricating the other parent from this awful situation which they can't cope with any longer). I feel unprepared and vulnerable.

OP posts:
Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 20:40

No worries. So I’ve been sectioned under section 2 of the MH act which means you can be held for 28 days. The actual section process each time involved three mental health professionals and when they decide to section me, no beds were available so I was at home for 24 hrs until they found one. I’ve been more unwell since then and NOT been sectioned as beds are very hard to come by so you may find they look for community care. MH services are woeful at the moment, very little support so even when I recently overdosed and despite having also been picked up by the police twice and sectioned by them, I’ve been sent home with no support so do bear in mind that the outcome may not be what you expect. If they are sectioned, be aware that they won’t get any therapy, just medication so it can be a pretty pointless exercise. They’ll be given a room, all dangerous intensive removed so if they have a mobile, try to get a very short charger so they can charge it, anything that is long enough to be used as a ligature will not be allowed. Food is awful so send in snacks and drinks (no cans). They’ll be checked in regularly all night so you get really poor sleep. It’s very lonely in there, staff are too busy and it is very noisy. Can be frightening if there are violent people in there. Let me know if you have more questions!

Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 20:41

Intensive = items

TheOnlyKoiInAPondOfGoldfish · 28/06/2021 20:51

The process for doing a section is not horrific, please don't worry (my DS was sectioned twice, the first time I was there, the second he was in A&E after an OD).

The MH professionals will chat to the patient and try to ascertain whether LEGALLY they should be sectioned. They have to be convinced that they are a danger to themselves or others. They said to me that they were really sorry, but they were going to section DS. I was SO relieved they thought he should be sectioned, there was no way we could keep him safe and he was convinced he needed to die to save the world.

They won't come in and take the patient away - they will have a long chat and then make the decision. No problem with you being there, it can be helpful if the patient misunderstands a question and you realise - you can "translate" for them - I also reminded DS about a couple of things that he was leaving out of his answers - which were very relevant

Fingers crossed for you.
.

Soontobe60 · 28/06/2021 20:56

What you have to remember is that your parent is ill. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be being sectioned. You are doing the right thing, if I were you I’d choose to be there as I’d feel it would be important to understand the process once your parent is recovered.

Original poster
Absentia · 28/06/2021 21:09

@scutterbug thank you. That clears a few things up for me, especially items which would be useful. Any other things you think might be helpful?

This is a planned sectioning, under section 135, for assessment which will then become a section 2 if necessary. One problem is that their house is in extremely poor condition and likely to prove unsafe.

They won't get better. It's dementia. Fairly unusual circumstances. My parent simply ... makes things up now when they can't remember, and they are so convincing that I doubt myself ( FOG there too) so I'm worried that they'll convince doctors too

OP posts:
Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 21:16

[quote Bluesheep8]@Scutterbug

I think it's both very brave and very kind of you to offer to do that Flowers[/quote]
Ok. I’ve been sectioned under 135 twice as well as the two section 2s. Both times the MHAA (mental health act assessment) decided I should go home. The first the police sectioned me after finding me on a bridge so they sectioned me and took me to safety, the second time they found me after I had left the house and self harmed so the same thing happened, again the MHAA decided I should go home. Both times I was allowed to leave and walk off into the city despite telling them I intended to end my life so I don’t have much faith in the process!

Original poster
Absentia · 28/06/2021 21:51

Christ @scutterbug that is fucking appalling.

I hope that you are feeling better now.

This is one of the things I'm worried about - my parent just being bounced back out. They would be unable to cope without their partner who acts as carer and they cannot stay any longer as they are being attacked.

I really hope that things have improved @scutterbug x

OP posts:
Cagedbirdsinging · 28/06/2021 21:54

Absentia...I have no advice . I just wish you peace and the very best outcome tomorrow .

Scutterbug · 28/06/2021 21:57

I feel for you so much. If I’m honest, I wouldn’t want my parent in a psychiatric unit, they really aren’t particularly nice. I’d be hoping for some kind of community care order. If the police do the section 135 then they will go to a place of safety where they will wait for the assessment. That can take some time and waiting is really hard, and would be very confusing if you had dementia.

Original poster
Absentia · 28/06/2021 22:09

My parent has refused to attend meetings with the team, without realising that they are important as concerns have been raised.

I'm just off to read about community orders to see if they could be appropriate - a confounding issue is their current living circumstances, which they insist are fine but are honestly very very far from ok, and their need for care and support which they insist that they don't need. They haven't left the house in over a year, can't pay bills, have thousands of pounds of debt, and have moved from making quite intimidating threats to attacking the other parent who is themselves disabled.

Its a shit show.
It's all kicking off next week...

OP posts:
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