To be furious about covid restrictions for maternity scans/birth?

[SaraKatie]

I'll preface this by saying I'm not from the UK, I'm Irish, and we have a horrific track record on women's health issues (from the Magdalene laundries right up to our recent cervical check horror). But I am absolutely outraged by our "visitor" restrictions for maternity appointments, ACTUAL BIRTHS, and postnatal hospital stays. Partners are not visitors.

I gave birth to my first child in January 2020, so I'm lucky as it was pre-covid. She hasn't had a single check-up performed by her community nurse since March 2020, and has had important and time-sensitive medical appointments cancelled, but that's a whole other topic. However, during my maternity leave I met loads of mums who did give birth during the pandemic and heard all sorts of horror stories first-hand. Giving birth alone because their partners were only allowed in when they were in active labour, which was too late. Having their cervix checked multiple times when they didn't want it, just because they were so desperate to have their partners be let in. Being left alone for days on a ward after a c-section with no help, because the nurses were swept off their feet and their partners were not allowed in. I've also met multiple women who attended scans alone to find out they had miscarried, and who then had to tell their partners this devastating news. It's barbaric.

We are opening up. I can get my hair done. I can go and clothes shop. But we still can't have partners with us for our scans. I had an early miscarriage last month. I'm now pregnant again and booking in for an early pregnancy scan. I'm extremely nervous about it. My husband is not allowed attend with me.

Why can't they do a rapid covid test before the scans so partners can attend? They do them at a cosmetic clinic several of my friends attend for botox. Swab in the carpark. 20 minutes later they have a result. Partners could stay a metre away from the clinician doing the scans. They could wear masks. Hell, they could wear full PPE. They want to be at their children's scans just as much as the pregnant women want them there.

It just feels like Ireland doesn't give a shit about women once again.

Irish here and dh is allowed in to the 12 week and 20 week scan. He is allowed in for the labour (not sure at what stage) and for 30mins a day once baby is here.
I'm in the NW so I'm not sure what other hospitals are doing.
But I agree it's been absolutely awful since this started.

But it has been awful for everyone in need of hospital care. My own ds was in for 2 weeks this year. Dh wasn't allowed to swap so we could take turns minding him. We were in Dublin so 4hrs from home. It was awful, seriously ill kid and no back up. The nurses were amazing but only so much they can do.
I was just glad he wasn't in for longer.

@romdowa

Having had my early maternity care in the NHS and then returned home to Ireland. The difference is actually sickening. The hse have issued new guidelines but the hospitals are just flat out ignoring them and doing what ever they please. Yet the Irish maternity hospitals have women packed in like cattle. My first appointment in Ireland was a huge shock to the system. Women everywhere , no room for social distancing at all. They are not a bit worried about covid at all, it's just another way to control and isolate irish women at one of the most vulnerable times of their lives.

Surely the lack of space for social distancing in waiting rooms is a major factor in not allowing partners for routine appointments. In addition, the main maternity hospitals I can think of in Dublin don't have car parks, so the option that some hospitals are using of waiting elsewhere until called isn't practicable.

@waitingforwinter I'm in South East England

YANBU. My friend gave birth last September, her husband wasn't allowed in for the scans, but was allowed to wait on the hospital corridor. While he was waiting out on the corridor with the other banished partners, a woman came out from the clinic in floods of tears. Turns out that she had just been told that her baby had died and was sent off on her way to tell her partner out on the very public corridor.

We both work in this hospital as nurses, I think the maternity departments were the last ones to let partners in. Very odd, verging on inhumane.

[quote InpatientGardener]@waitingforwinter I'm in South East England[/quote]
@InpatientGardener wow! Well obviously it’s still not ideal but I’m on the west coast of Scotland and only last week did ours change from 30 mins per 24 hours to 60 mins per 24 hours so its more than some are getting unfortunately!

@bananabanana67

it’s not just ireland. my birth in march this year was the same in england. it’s upsetting obviously but there’s a reason for it. on the other hand it’s much nicer being on a postnatal ward with just other women rather than a constant stream of their visitors too. every cloud

Totally agree, I has me second child in November and did like the post natal wars quietness and actually felt that there was a real sense of banding together amongst the women. chatting to each other and checking in with each other as knew they didn't have visitors. I didn't mind the scans alone so much ( I didn't have bad news so think that makes a difference) and was lucky that by the time I had him my hospital allowed a partner in

@Youseethethingis

I have birth in June 2020. Went into triage with my perfect baby and textbook pregnancy to be told my baby was dead. I was alone. After that, the hospital chucked the rules out the window. My mum and DH were with me when DS was born and my dad was allowed in for a cuddle in the morning. I was in intensive care by this point as I was catastrophically ill. The Covid ward next door was empty, I'm told, so the hospital felt it would have been unnecessarily cruel to stop my family being with me and DS. Thank god.

I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy.

Half the time it seems to be rules for the sake of rules itms. I agree with rules if they make sense but all too often that is not the case.

It's horrific and beyond cruel.
Women getting screwed over once again.

@BusyLizzie61 Yeah I wasn't looking for your sympathy. I was expressing my dismay at a horrendous situation that is affecting thousands of women in my country. I guess women should just stop having children because of these draconian measures? What about those whose pregnancies aren't planned? The risks aren't deemed too high by our government or chief medical officer, maternity hospitals are just making up their own rules in spite of this, so your comment was not only moronic, it was also factually incorrect.

I say this on every thread I come across @busylizzie61 on, but pay literally zero attention to what that poster has to say. @busylizzie61 is a poster who discovered a thread of distraught and very recently bereaved mothers and told them they deserved to have lost their babies, and that they shouldn't have children because they don't deserve to, amongst other absolutely vile things.

Yanbu. I had a miscarriage earlier this year in then UK and I was in agony waiting for 4 hours in a and e crying my eyes out. Not one person asked me how I was. I had to find out my baby had died all alone after that traumatic time waiting and tell my husband on the phone.

@BusyLizzie61 I think previous posters are right when they’ve suggested people are starting to lose their humanity. Your post is a case in point. If someone got a lung cancer diagnosis and smoked as a young person would you have no sympathy for them finding out that news alone? Seriously lacking in compassion. You also don’t know OPs circumstances. No one could predict what the pandemic was going to look like or how long restrictions were going to last so saying she went into it with her eyes wide open is ridiculous.

I had a previous loss post 20 weeks. I had a breakdown about six months later despite the support of my loved ones. I’m pretty sure I would have suffered a much more serious breakdown had I had to find out that news alone or attend scans in my subsequent pregnancy alone due to the PTSD I developed.

Yanbu. The people making the decisions don’t understand women’s health or care about it.

@BusyLizzie61 Ok troll. I am having private maternity care but that doesn't change the hospital rules. You clearly don't understand anything about the Irish system, and seem to lack basic reading comprehension skills, so stay in your incredibly narrow lane. People have a right to speak out against measures they find to be draconian or unfair. I bet you wish they were still sending women off to indentured servitude for the crime of getting pregnant out of wedlock.

[quote SaraKatie]@BusyLizzie61 Ok troll. I am having private maternity care but that doesn't change the hospital rules. You clearly don't understand anything about the Irish system, and seem to lack basic reading comprehension skills, so stay in your incredibly narrow lane. People have a right to speak out against measures they find to be draconian or unfair. I bet you wish they were still sending women off to indentured servitude for the crime of getting pregnant out of wedlock.[/quote]
Don't throw the troll comment around, just because you've been told the obvious - take responsibility for your choices!
It is not draconian at all and no doubt you'd be the first to complain if your baby was infected with covid as a result of someone else attending!

@sarakatie I would really encourage you not to engage with @busylizzie61. That poster never had anything pleasant to say to anyone.