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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What time shd kids be asleep at sleepover?

65 replies

notanymore2 · 26/06/2021 21:55

My 9yo is having a sleepover next wknd with a couple of friends. What time do you reckon is time to get serious and say they need to go to sleep. Don't want to be awful to them but don't want them up too late either. What do you reckon?

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 26/06/2021 22:32

We had a sleepover for my dd 9th birthday. There were 5 girls in total, one of the mums was a bit worried because her daughter is usually asleep by 8pm.
I think I told them lights out about 10.30 and told them anyone still making a noise at 11.30pm would be dropped home to their parents before midnight, totally fake threat but it worked and they were all asleep by 11.30pm.

Keepingitreal14 · 26/06/2021 22:33

Yes it really it! (Might not think so in an hour 🤣)

AintPageantMaterial · 26/06/2021 22:34

I think they like midnight at that age. It feels exciting and there’s usually a pact to stay awake at least that late. I honestly think the best thing to do is not to focus on telling them to go to sleep but instead to say that after midnight they need to be in bed, under the covers and talking quietly. That’s not too strict and actually they’ll drop off before too long in those circumstances.

Wimpeyspread · 26/06/2021 22:39

@sweeneytoddsrazor

The word sleep generally has no place in a,sleep over. Its an overnight visit Grin
This!
Atla · 26/06/2021 22:43

3 9yo's in the next room here - I've just been and told them lights out but I dont hold out much hope to be honest Wink

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 26/06/2021 23:19

My DS was at a sleepover recently with quite a few other boys. He said they were asleep by 1am but one of the kids woke up at 6:00am and woke the rest of them up (and the host's two younger siblings apparently). The next day was definitely a right off but they had a blast and had recovered by school on Monday.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 26/06/2021 23:42

Wait you're supposed to set a bedtime?! I thought it was just a bonus if they slept.

MollysMummy2010 · 26/06/2021 23:49

Just leave them to it and write off tomorrow

PurpleMustang · 27/06/2021 00:02

There is always a conflict in aim. Yours is for them to be asleep before midnight. Theirs is to stay awake till at least midnight. Dont expect much sleep for them, at best light sleep for you. Don't plan the next day. Any early pick ups, set yourself an alarm as you will likely sleep in

BaronessBomburst · 27/06/2021 00:07

I have an 11 year old. I aim for midnight and wake them up at 9. They get breakfast and get sent home for 10 am.

SpornStar · 27/06/2021 00:17

My 9 year old has a friend here for a sleepover tonight. They’ve just gone to bed and appear knackered so I think they’ll be asleep soon.

fairytwinkletastic · 27/06/2021 01:05

Still awake 🤣

cocoloco987 · 27/06/2021 08:29

I tend to fall asleep around midnight and either they drop off eventually at an unknown time or they wake me back up being noisy and I get cross and tell them to go to sleep some time in the early hours

Longestfewdaysupcoming · 27/06/2021 08:31

Leave them to it. Probably some ungodly hour around 3am

Definitely get them picked up early and don’t plan much for today.

Hope it went ok.

beingsunny · 27/06/2021 08:41

Depends on when they are usually asleep, mines usually 8pm he's 8, almost 9.

We had his 9yo friend over for a sleepover two weekends ago, he is more an 8.30/9 bedtime.

I went in and did lights out around 9.30/40 and they were probably asleep by 10.15/30.I could hear them whispering when I went to bed at 10, but they weren't up and roaming around so I figured they would just wear out.

I'm a reluctant sleepover host as it takes me days to recover from a bad nights sleep so I'm picky with who I have to stay. Grin

beingsunny · 27/06/2021 08:45

Oh and they begged for a midnight feast which I was adamant wouldn't be happening!

Until... they requested a bowl of sliced apple and an Oreo each which I should put in their room Grin

So I obliged, cling wrapped it and it was still there in the morning. They were up at 6 though so I threw an iPad in and went back to bed.

Ylvamoon · 27/06/2021 08:48

When DS (10) had a sleepover with 3 friends, I was shocked to see them all tugged up in their sleeping bag around 10!

We had planned a night walk in some dark woodland - they didn't know about it. I thought they would be hyper from all the sugar and xbox games.

DD on the other hand was an (almost) all nighters.

Pinuporc · 27/06/2021 08:51

My DD sometimes has sleepovers in a tent in the garden. They are easier to deal with because there is no mess in the house and I cant hear them from indoors!Grin

Conchitastrawberry · 27/06/2021 08:52

[quote Chillychangchoo]@WorraLiberty

The trick is to not have sleepovers 🤦‍♀️ 🤣. I have a nearly 10 year old girl and the thought of it gives me nightmares. I’ve successfully managed to dodge this bullet…. so far at least.[/quote]
I’ve dodged it too. Daughter is 15 and never had one/. She’s never been to one either. Eldest DD now an adult, had one around 10 years old, I swore then never again!

nolongersurprised · 27/06/2021 08:53

My 9 year old just had a sleepover with two friends, I went down at 930 and turned lights, TV off etc and they all went straight to sleep!

blahblahblah321 · 27/06/2021 08:53

Sleep Grin

I am a veteran of the "sleep" overs, and I'm afraid sleep isn't generally high on the agenda

I usually leave them to it, unless they are running riot. DS1 had a friend at primary who used to get very over excited at sleep overs so I'd have to intervene when he was here otherwise I'd wake up to breakages... Shock

Overrunwithlego · 27/06/2021 08:56

My 10 year old dd is obsessed with aiming for “all nighters” on sleepovers. The latest she has managed is 5:30am - not when it was at my house though! It was only 2 of them, and dad of the other girl slept through it all. I was expecting to pick her up about 10 but they were still asleep at noon! She LOVED it. Christ they’ve had a crappy couple of years, so as long as they have time to recover before school it doesn’t bother me too much.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 27/06/2021 09:04

....what's the point of a sleepover if the mum expects you to sleep?

MaryMighty · 27/06/2021 09:05

I aimed for 10/11pm.... but it took until after 1am for the last one to fall asleep here (10 year olds) 😬

blahblahblah321 · 27/06/2021 09:06

@Overrunwithlego

My 10 year old dd is obsessed with aiming for “all nighters” on sleepovers. The latest she has managed is 5:30am - not when it was at my house though! It was only 2 of them, and dad of the other girl slept through it all. I was expecting to pick her up about 10 but they were still asleep at noon! She LOVED it. Christ they’ve had a crappy couple of years, so as long as they have time to recover before school it doesn’t bother me too much.
Oh yes, good old "all nighters"! Grin

I think I'm just jealous that I'm knackered by 10pm so all nighters are a distant dream for me. We tend to arrange "sleep" overs on school holidays or Friday nights so they have chance to catch up on sleep before school!