To be very hacked of with supply teacher for making DS cry over some petty rule...

[marge2]

At DS's school they let the Reception class out at home time one by one making sure each child has someone to meet them - good move. However yesterday poor DS1 (only 4.4) was coming out of school carrying his coat - I was three feet away but teacher dragged him back saying that 'the rule is that they have to be wearing their coat' He started to cry but I called to him to put his coat on. He was getting more and more upset - I could hear him getting really distraught, and knowing him once he is like that it is hard to get through to him. I was feeling awful for him, but thought OK, he has to follow the rules.

BUT what seriously hacked me off was that then another little boy was let out carrying only a jumper - in his shirt sleeves.

I said 'Hey HE'S not wearing a coat' to which the reply was ' He hasn't got one!' When I pointed out that he had a jumper the teacher just 'humphed'

I can think of two reasons for the rule. 1) to keep them warm 2) To ensure they have everything with them.

Why was my little boy made an example of and made to cry for not 'wearing' his coat, when the other one was let out in shirt sleeves carrying his jumper with no comment made.

Flaming stupid teachers. Glad the usual one is back next week.

aw poor little thing

i would have been too, if it were my child. I think you should complain, how dare a teacher make a child cry over something so petty. I would make it clear to the HM that you are not comfortable with that person teaching your child.

She's only a supply teacher anyway - quite elderly and 'old school'.

It was another one of the assistants that let the other boy out in his shirtsleeves and humphed at me while the old one was trying to get DS to stop crying long enough to get his coat on - In the end I barged past into the classroom and put it on him myself.

If the rule is THAT important to reduce a child to tears over shouldn't all the teachers know about it and ENFORCE it rather than making such a fuss over one kid and ignoring another one.

GRRrrrr

What a huge overreaction from LEM! I'm sure the head has better things to than deal with anyone ranting about something so minor.
He won't be scarred for life, he'll just put his coat on next time. She didn't exactly beat him senseless.

he's only four though ozy

poor ds. What a mean teacher. For heaven's sake, you shouldn't be teaching reception if you can't deal kindly with little ones.

I think I'm a cruel mum then because my ds had this happen to him and I asked if he had apologised to teacher and he said no. I sent him back in to apologise.

I was upset when she didn't thank him for his apology especially as it took him a lot of effort to do.

The thing that annoyed me wasn't so much that he was made to put on his coat - that was fair enough - but that they reduced him to hysterical tears over the 'rule' while happily allowing other kids break it!

"Flaming stupid teachers"

God we really are hated aren't we. For the second time in five minutes I'm writing on MN that I'm glad I've left the profession.

Yes, nasty stuff here. She only helped him put his coat on and he had a tantrum as four year olds do.

why is it nasty? the op was concerned that her child was upset and posted probably for a bit of support.

It's upsetting when your child gets upset, bt in the great scheme of things, your DS1 will survive. Supply teachers don't know the children well, they are working under unfamiliar school rules, and it all turned into an unfortunate incident. I don't think he was 'made an example of', and i wouldn't complian to the Head.

DS wet himself in Yr1 because a supply teacher told them they couldn't go to the toilet until break. These things happen sometimes, and I think children build resilience if they see us reacting as if they are things to be taken in their, and our, stride.

Seems a bit harsh for year 1 really Blu.

But as a secondary teacher, I rarely let children out of my lesson to go to the loo. And some parents didn't like it even at that age.

take your point mmj but I agree with blu.

I still remember being told off by the dinner lady when I was about 5 for something very unimportant, and I'm now 39. So I agree that these things can stay with you.

But I also think resilience is important for children - not in a "leave them out on the hillside and beat them" way but just in the sense that they learn that sometimes things go wrong or people get fractious and it's fine. Jumping in to defend your child doesn't always help as it makes them feel nothing can ever be allowed to go wrong in the world.

I wonder if this is why grown-ups can't say sorry any more - if you challenge someone (nicely) and ask them not to throw litter, or to turn the noise down on their headphones, they'll tell you to fuck off. The idea that someone might ask you to moderate your behaviour has become anathema (not sure if I'm using that word properly).

I know that's a lot to extrapolate from the OP but I think as a parent you sometimes have to let stuff happen.

Yes, I thought it was terrible, too.
Not quite the same as me being forced to wet myself in a work meeting, as it's more common in small children - he was still 5 at the time - but i thought that the stupidity of the situation would have been made clear to the teacher , esp as she had to deal with it, and that she wouldn't be so silly again. Which she wasn't. I did quietly mention it to DS's class teacher and ask that supply teachers be made aware that they are allowed to go when they need to, and she was emphatic that they would be - and sympathetic.

I just think that going in with Mummy tiger claws out every time your child comes into conflict with the big bad world is over-protective, and assumes that your child can't 'process it' and learn that adults make mistakes.

I am not unsympathetic to marge's little boy...I just wouldn't be complaining to the head and not allowing that teacher to teach my child etc as was suggested by someone else.

I think all children should be treated the same.

Our school doesn't make them put their coats on if the children really don't want too unless the weather warrants it. My DD's teacher managed to get her to agree to all her buttons being done up, I have to conseed on the bottom one.

cranberry try being a doctor

yeah or a lawyer...

Yes, I agree that this episode was avoidable, petty and unfair etc... and I would have been seriously unimpressed with the teacher. BUT.... on a broader scale, I think we do great damage by undermining teachers/schools/authority/whoever by letting our children see that we automatically side with them versus the teacher. I'm not suggesting we should not support our kids, but in schools generally we have big problems with older kids who feel they are invincible because their parents will bail them out whatever they do. This is a far step on from wearing a coat out from the cloakroom (and I know the other kid got away with it which wasn't fair!) but there is a connection, I think.

Teachers can't do right for doing wrong.