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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be raging??

72 replies

Turquoiseraindrops · 25/06/2021 22:49

Food order coming tomorrow morning. WiFi down so took ages with 4G to do it all. AGES. It went through and I had email Confirmation.

P is away till tomorrow. He Logged in from his phone and I think somehow managed to delete the order. He swears blind he didn’t but I’ve logged in again and it’s completely gone. Although no cancellation email. Is this a glitch with the site or had it gone?

We had scheduled our weekend plans around that delivery and the food etc as can’t just pop into a supermarket.

AIBU to be absolutely raging? Im so upset.
I always do all the shopping, meal plan etc. I have a system. He doesn’t want any part of it (just expects the meals) and the one time he logs in to add to the list, it’s all gone.

Argghhh.

OP posts:
saraclara · 26/06/2021 00:32

I can't see any way that he could have cancelled it without going through several different stages. So I don't think the disappearance has anything at all to do with him logging in.

YABU

Bargebill19 · 26/06/2021 00:32

Doesn’t it ‘disappear’ once it’s over the time limit to amend it? Eg last time to amend the order is 23:45, it then disappears only to reappear once it’s been picked for delivery?

tallduckandhandsome · 26/06/2021 00:34

Well she could just be raging here and calm in RL.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 26/06/2021 00:54

@BringOnTheOtherWorlders

I hear "I have a system" and then being upset because someone else messed with the system - makes me think you're being rigid and controlling.
Oh, come on.

So she has a system for meal planning & ordering food. She's got one chance to get food for the week & this is it. She spends a long time doing it - longer than usual. Someone else who wants nothing to do with it logs into that account, & now the food order has disappeared. Being angry about that isn't being 'rigid & controlling'. It's called being normal.

OP, I do the food orders because DH refuses to. I fight my way through supermarket glitches & idiosyncracies. If my order disappeared like that I'd be swearing. I hope it turns up.

Feedingthebirds1 · 26/06/2021 00:58

This isn't really about the food order, is it? It's a symptom of an unequal relationship and one where the OP is cast in the role of drudge/handmaid.

1forAll74 · 26/06/2021 01:11

I usually get another little email after doing an order, saying that I can still add things to my order, until a given time. They email a few hours after I have done my order.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/06/2021 01:55

I was once torn apart on here because I asked whether it was ok to be pissed off at the way DH ate popcorn.

He would grab huge handfuls and shove them into his mouth and I would just take a piece at a time. I think the phrase I used was "Shoving it into his fucking face with bits going everywhere".

I was told that I was controlling, that I clearly didnt like him and why did I resent sharing popcorn with my husband and did it really matter if he had a bit more than me.

He was a greedy shit who would feed his face with no consideration to me who was supposed to be getting a share. He was selfish and vile so it was the last straw.

I did point this out in my OP but that got ignored as it was obviously more fun for the pile on to call me greedy, controlling, hateful and judgey (oh the irony!). It was not about popcorn, as this is not about shopping. Its about the final straw. That was mine and this is the OP's.

Mamanyt · 26/06/2021 01:55

Calm down for now. FIRST THING in the morning call the store and find out if the order was cancelled. If it was, ask if there was a computer system glitch on their end, and place the order again.

If there was an issue with their server, apologize to your DH. If there was not, well. I would have logged completely off of the site once I'd placed the order. I NEVER leave things like that open.

Mandalay246 · 26/06/2021 01:58

Apologise for what, doing all the shopping and cooking whilst he sits on his arse and expects to be fed

It's just possible, given that the OP has a plan and a system, that he's too frightened to do anything to upset those. As witnessed by the fact that she is already blaming him for something he might not have even done. So much bile towards men on here!

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/06/2021 02:07

@Mandalay246

Apologise for what, doing all the shopping and cooking whilst he sits on his arse and expects to be fed

It's just possible, given that the OP has a plan and a system, that he's too frightened to do anything to upset those. As witnessed by the fact that she is already blaming him for something he might not have even done. So much bile towards men on here!

Or.....as seems to be more common on here.....he refuses to do anything towards shopping, cooking and I would guess anything else domestic but expects The Wifemaid to magically present a beautifully cooked meal in an immaculate house with delightful children whilst also paying her half of the bills.
aloris · 26/06/2021 06:14

"Wifemaid."

Brilliant new word. I'm going to use it, if you don't mind.

Aprilx · 26/06/2021 06:14

I cannot imagine “raging” over a supermarket order no matter why it disappeared. I can’t even imagine getting annoyed or irritated about it, at most it might elicit a light hearted “oh bugger”. It really isn’t the end of the world, you are not going to starve you are massively over reacting.

Muchmorethan · 26/06/2021 06:42

Why did he login when he doesn't need to? To deliberately sabotage the order? If he's that nasty then you really need to re-think your arrangements.

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 26/06/2021 07:08

Snorting at wifemaid here too

Maybe he tried to amend, didn't fully check out and so the extra things he wanted won't be on but your original order will still be there - you maybe just couldn't see it as he had it open to amend it?

I can totally get why this would be annoying, espy if things are already fraught, but maybe (bear with me), maybe it's a teaching moment??? Grin might be time to try and step back a bit tho and give yourself some chill out time if you can, hang in there OP, strange times still all around us!

sbhydrogen · 26/06/2021 07:16

Contact customer service before you jump to conclusions here.

LadyCatStark · 26/06/2021 07:32

@Mamanyt

Calm down for now. FIRST THING in the morning call the store and find out if the order was cancelled. If it was, ask if there was a computer system glitch on their end, and place the order again.

If there was an issue with their server, apologize to your DH. If there was not, well. I would have logged completely off of the site once I'd placed the order. I NEVER leave things like that open.

Oh great, another thread where a husband does something wrong and posters bend over backwards to make it the wife’s fault 🙄.

I’d be annoyed too, especially if you live rurally where there are no supermarkets nearby.

strawberrydonuts · 26/06/2021 07:38

@Turquoiseraindrops

If you think IABU, please let me know how you would handle it differently. Blush
I think YABU because you've made an assumption that it is your husband's fault when actually it's probably a technical glitch or a problem with the website. He obviously didn't do this on purpose and is unaware of it so cut him some slack. This stuff happens sometimes.
CliftonGreenYork · 26/06/2021 07:38

Are you Scottish. All my Scottish friends use the Raging word so often.

strawberrydonuts · 26/06/2021 07:39

Oh great, another thread where a husband does something wrong and posters bend over backwards to make it the wife’s fault 🙄

Really? I feel like mumsnet is one of the most anti-male websites I've ever been on!

Mandalay246 · 26/06/2021 07:44

Or.....as seems to be more common on here.....he refuses to do anything towards shopping, cooking and I would guess anything else domestic but expects The Wifemaid to magically present a beautifully cooked meal in an immaculate house with delightful children whilst also paying her half of the bills.

You know nothing at all about the OP's husband, and what he does or doesn't do and yet you automatically jump to this conclusion. Thank goodness I don't live in your bitter world.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/06/2021 07:44

If it has been cancelled it will still show as a ‘previous order’ I think so you can just reorder it.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/06/2021 07:45

What supermarket?

mamas12 · 26/06/2021 07:53

Well if it’s a glitch and it arrives good
But if he has done Something and it’s cancelled then he needs to go shopping!

NeedNewKnees · 26/06/2021 08:04

Why would your first thought be “it’s his fault”? ‘Raging’ is a pretty extreme reaction.

JellyTumble · 26/06/2021 08:05

YABU. He won’t have done anything, you just haven’t saved it/checked out so lost your slot.

Hence no cancellation email.