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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you think if you saw this dog?

262 replies

Tailbetweenlegs · 25/06/2021 10:47

I’ve bought my dog a bright yellow harness and lead that say I NEED SPACE and NERVOUS in big letters. I got it because he’s a nervous rescue and doesn’t like strange dogs approaching, and can be nervous of people getting too close/if they startle him (he barked and snapped at a woman the other week who I didn’t see come running behind me which prompted me to buy this).
We’re working with a trainer and he’s improved a bit but I think there will always be a management aspect to his behaviour (fairly sure he’s not bitten anyone in his history, not let off the lead, he’s never around children so I don’t think he’s a danger to anyone).

I walked him in his new outfit today and a man rolled his eyes and dramatically jumped out of the way, a woman stopped me to ask if he was nervous (really!) and a woman with a dog walked right past with her dog staring at mine. I normally walk in quiet places, this was just a quick trip round the block and happened to be busier than normal.

So should I not bother with an I NEED SPACE lead/harness. I’m interested to hear how it comes across and what you’d think if you saw a dog in this/if you’d notice. I just mean it as a warning so people give us a bit of a wide berth so they aren’t startled if they get barked at by quite a big dog. I don’t expect people to go massively out of their way to avoid us (he’s on a short lead anyway) but I’m worried it comes across as passive aggressive or will invite attention which is the opposite of what I want. Dog people and dog haters (I know there’s a lot on here) what would you think?

OP posts:
Tailbetweenlegs · 25/06/2021 15:18

Thanks for the insight everyone who answered my question, it’s interesting to hear what a wide range of responses the warning lead/harness will have. To save anyone else commenting this-don’t worry I know that soft muzzles are incredibly dangerous if used on walks as they restrict panting so I won’t be following this advice.
With regards to the tangent this thread has gone off on re whether my dog is a dangerous animal/should be destroyed/muzzled/kept away from the public thank you for your opinions and training advice but I will continue to follow the professional advice of the dog trainer and qualified behaviourists who have met my dog and know him, and I have always followed the advice of staff/behaviourists at the high profile rescue charity who rehomed him and didn’t deem him a dangerous dog.
In case it wasn’t clear in my OP, I (like anyone walking a reactive dog would) obviously do my best to keep him away from triggers by walking in quiet areas, training, crossing the road to create space. I know his behaviour is my responsibility not other people’s, the harness/lead was just a suggestion from the dog behaviourist to help me create space/warn other people that my dog is nervous so they can decide to stay away if they see it-I obviously can’t control if they want to do that or not. Luckily, it’s not normally a big problem-my dog is absolutely fine with most dogs and 99% of people. He just gets spooked if people (usually joggers or people with umbrellas/big hats) dogs come within about half a metre of him/ie closer than it would be normal to pass another person or dog. He doesn’t walk down the street attacking everything he sees.
Oh and re the dog staring comment in my OP. I wasn’t angry about this/wasn’t suggesting the woman did anything wrong by walking past. I basically just meant that the woman didn’t see or react to the harness/attempt to distract her dog (it jumped up on its back legs, stopped, stared intensely and was whining a bit about a metre from my dog-It wanted to say hello but my dog finds staring threatening). Of course she wasn’t obliged to do anything to help me, but it would have been useful if she’d seen the harness and realised her dog could be making mine uncomfortable and distracted it. Wasn’t a big deal though and my dog didn’t react because I was giving him treats, I just meant that if other dog owners aren’t going to react to the harness is there any point having it or will it just make me look like a tit/invite people to take the piss or ask questions.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 25/06/2021 15:18

@BelleClapper

I have one for my lab. It’s largely ignored. People are twats.
This. I’ve got a nervous lead for my greyhound who was abused. Makes bugger all difference 99.9% of the time.
cheeseislife8 · 25/06/2021 15:19

Personally I'd not give it a second thought, just keep myself and my dog out of the way so as not to frighten your nervous dog, then just go on with my day. It should be common sense

LolaSmiles · 25/06/2021 15:24

I know his behaviour is my responsibility not other people’s, the harness/lead was just a suggestion from the dog behaviourist to help me create space/warn other people that my dog is nervous so they can decide to stay away if they see it-I obviously can’t control if they want to do that or not
Didn't you say a runner ran past you and was snapped at?
The runner should not have been in a position where they were snapped at, or is it the runner's fault?

If I was walking or jogging behind you, I wouldn't see your harness until I was next to you (if I happened to be looking down), or I wouldn't see the all. It wouldn't be a case of me choosing or not choosing to stay away from your dog. I don't deserve to be snapped at for not spotting the colour harness a dog in front might have had on. The dog's owner has a responsibility to ensure their dog isn't a danger to me.

The general public should not be placed at risk by your dog snapping at them.

skybluee · 25/06/2021 15:25

If it was bright yellow I'd think it was a guide dog but then when I read the wording I'd give it a lot of extra space.

QueenOfCatan · 25/06/2021 15:28

I'd respect it, especially when with my dog! I see a woman walking her two dogs and she wears a neon yellow tabard with "my dogs are twats" written on it, always makes me chuckle, apparently people ignored the special dog leads she had and people tend to leave her dogs alone now!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/06/2021 15:30

Didn't you say a runner ran past you and was snapped at?
The runner should not have been in a position where they were snapped at, or is it the runner's fault?

This. A runner can't be expected to round a corner, not seeing your dog or its harness more than a moment or two ahead, and get snapped at by a large dog purely for daring to run past.

TeanupFlutter · 25/06/2021 15:30

This is the first I've heard of the coloured lead codes etc... Our small black dog has red lead and collar. He has a neon yellow equafleece in winter otherwise its tricky so see him on an evening walk. No one has ever said or assumed he's a nervous or reactive dog (he isn't) or kept their dogs from greeting him, I wonder how widely this is known? I'd say not enough to be effective as a deterrent.

sfeirical · 25/06/2021 15:32

@CharlotteRose90

I have a dog and to be honest if I saw your collar and harness I’d avoid you completely. Although if I’m walking mine down the road id expect you to move out of the way first and find space not expect me too.

Agree with this tbh. You need to move out of other peoples way, and if an off lead dog follows you, you need to alert the owner that your dog may bite.
I'd also consider a muzzle if he snapped at someone the other day, it's for his own protection really. I don't enjoy the idea of them, but if anything were to happen it would be the dog who pays the highest price unfortunately.
You can get soft muzzles, but I think the large ones allow them to smell around better and probably look a bit more intimidating that people would give you a wide berth.
Poor thing, I hope his anxiety is lessened as time goes on.

SmokeyDevil · 25/06/2021 15:40

You've done what you can. You can't give people intelligence or common sense. Usually in people, one or both are missing I'm afraid.

Tailbetweenlegs · 25/06/2021 15:42

@LolaSmiles I don’t think the runner even noticed what happened as they were running very quick and had headphones in. My dog didn’t bite and he wasn’t close enough to make contact as he was on a short lead (and a snap is very different to a bite). I spoke to my dog trainer who said it was a reaction to being startled and I am going to discuss with the behaviourist.
I do my best to protect the general public/avoid my dog getting stressed but it’s hard to avoid absolutely everyone even walking at quiet areas/times and not in narrow passages. A dog snapping is a warning, it would happen whether the dog was muzzled or not.

OP posts:
MRex · 25/06/2021 15:44

A dog near us wears that; I hadn't assumed it was aggressive unless directly approached, but just a polIte request to give it extra space. If I had the DP dog out and saw that I think I'd put her on a lead so she didn't try to greet it.

I much prefer that dog to some that run at toddler DS, with an owner yelling in the distance "It's OK, he's friendly!". No, actually I'll decide what's "ok" or not, your job is to control your dog and at least say sorry when you fail! If your dog is friendly and under control then let's get near enough to discuss if DS can pet it - when the dog is calm and controlled, when DS doesn't have a snack to get any dog over-excited and licking or snatching at hands / face, when my hands are free to make sure he's gentle and intervene if needed etc etc etc.

MRex · 25/06/2021 15:49

By the way, did you ask the vet about anxiety medication? It isn't necessarily what you'd want long-term, but might help for a while as you build up good habits. A friend's dog did quite well on it, though I've no idea what drug specifically.

LolaSmiles · 25/06/2021 15:51

Tailbetweenlegs
That's the point though. People are entitled to go about their day on public paths without having to be on watch for coloured leads, or risk being snapped at if they happen to have their attention elsewhere.

I keep my distance if I see a yellow lead & keep my dogs away, but if I'm out running and don't see a lead because I'm focusing on running then it's not ok for a dog to snap at me.

"They're just nervous, it's just a warning, it's not a bite, people should see the lead colour, it's up to them if they pay attention to my coloured harness or not" is just as annoying and irresponsible as owners saying "they're just friendly, it's just their way of saying hello" in my opinion.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/06/2021 15:52

The point being that a muzzle guarantees that the dog cannot bite a human or another dog. Your dog has not bitten. Yet. The snapping indicates its anxious and its behaviour is not under control - you simply don't know how the dog may react if provoked inadvertently, and you can't risk anyone getting hurt.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/06/2021 15:53

Lolasmiles

You are so right. "He's anxious", "she's nervous of kids" - none of these dog owners use the word aggressive which is what has been accurate in situations I've seen.

cupsofcoffee · 25/06/2021 15:56

A dog snapping is a warning, it would happen whether the dog was muzzled or not.

Absolutely, but a muzzle prevents a bite. If your dog bites someone then at best, you could have no choice but to muzzle and leash your dog in public. At worst, your dog could be taken off you and put down.

You have a dog who is aggressive and who snaps at strangers. If your dog bites and its' history is known, a court will question why on earth you didn't muzzle it before.

HeronLanyon · 25/06/2021 16:07

I don’t own a dog. I walk miles where dag are routinely walked off and on a lead.
I’m not sure I we ever seen a yellow harness. I would have no idea what it meant until I got closer but I might not know to read whatever and I might not have my reading glasses on on a walk. In fact I think if I saw a coloured harness from a distance I’d think it might be a dog in training and maybe for that reason give wide berth or speak to passing dog Walker.
There’s quite a bit of high handed thinking on this thread from dog owner that we would know and know how to behave and if not we are responsible. !

Tailbetweenlegs · 25/06/2021 16:07

@cupsofcoffee

A dog snapping is a warning, it would happen whether the dog was muzzled or not.

Absolutely, but a muzzle prevents a bite. If your dog bites someone then at best, you could have no choice but to muzzle and leash your dog in public. At worst, your dog could be taken off you and put down.

You have a dog who is aggressive and who snaps at strangers. If your dog bites and its' history is known, a court will question why on earth you didn't muzzle it before.

I have a dog who snapped at a stranger. I’m aware it could happen again but it’s not a regular occurrence. He has been assessed by behaviourists at a dog rescue which advises lots of their dogs to be muzzled but didn’t think it was necessary for him, he has also been seen in quite a busy park by my own vet recommended behaviourist who also didn’t advise muzzling. I am speaking to her again and will fully explain what happened, ask about muzzling and take her advice. I’m not opposed to muzzling, I have used one with a previous dog. I didn’t start this thread to ask about muzzles though.
OP posts:
cakewench · 25/06/2021 16:14

FWIW I wouldn't notice unless I was right next to the dog. I've seen people here annoyed because people don't follow the signs they've put on their dogs, but I'm sorry, I don't scrutinise every dog from a safe distance before approaching its general vicinity. I barely notice what humans are wearing much less dogs.

I think it's good as a deterrent to people who might be the sort who come up wanting to pet or play with it, but that's about it. If it's a bitey dog, you need to get some sort of muzzle.

cupsofcoffee · 25/06/2021 16:31

A thread about a dog who snaps at passers-by is always going to end up being about muzzles, though.

Unfortunately for you, the law changed recently and a dog no longer has to make contact for it to be deemed aggressive, dangerous or out of control. If a passer-by is scared of your dog and fears they may be bitten or attacked, they can report you.

I think it's great that you're getting professional advice, however strangers aren't going to know that, and as you can see, you will be judged for having an aggressive, un-muzzled dog in public.

Legoninjago1 · 25/06/2021 16:36

I saw this on a gorgeous little dog recently and just gave him a wide berth. However if I'd had my kids with me I'd have been more worried about keeping them safe.

Dogfan · 25/06/2021 16:37

I think these are great and I wish more people would use them. I can't always tell when other dogs are nervous or aggressive and this way you definitely know! I've seen people wearing tabards as well which is helpful. I'm all for it!

TheHoundsofLove · 25/06/2021 16:49

Whilst people approaching unfamiliar dogs / letting off-lead dogs run up to you etc.. are totally in the wrong, I do think you have to almost assume that you will have runners going past, bikes going by quickly, children being loud and messing about on the way past etc. They're just part of life and you're not going to be able to avoid it, especially if you live in a more populated area.

LolaSmiles · 25/06/2021 16:51

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
I agree with you, and if not necessarily aggressive, they display behaviour thay highlights they are an animal who is likely to behave unpredictably. The responsibility lies with the owner to exercise their dog in a appropriate space or put in place necessary measures, not rely on other people paying attention for a special harness. Sometimes posts from some owners of reactive dogs can feel a bit victim blamey in my opinion as it quickly comes down to "I put my dog in a coloured harness/lead, you should have noticed it, if your attention was elsewhere and you didn't see it then you asked to be snapped at".

My friend put it really well when discussing her nervous dog: the yellow lead is there to promote the conditions for her dog to best enjoy their walk without being bothered by other dogs.It's not there as a get out of jail free card for a dog snapping at strangers.