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AIBU?

What would you think if you saw this dog?

262 replies

Tailbetweenlegs · 25/06/2021 10:47

I’ve bought my dog a bright yellow harness and lead that say I NEED SPACE and NERVOUS in big letters. I got it because he’s a nervous rescue and doesn’t like strange dogs approaching, and can be nervous of people getting too close/if they startle him (he barked and snapped at a woman the other week who I didn’t see come running behind me which prompted me to buy this).
We’re working with a trainer and he’s improved a bit but I think there will always be a management aspect to his behaviour (fairly sure he’s not bitten anyone in his history, not let off the lead, he’s never around children so I don’t think he’s a danger to anyone).

I walked him in his new outfit today and a man rolled his eyes and dramatically jumped out of the way, a woman stopped me to ask if he was nervous (really!) and a woman with a dog walked right past with her dog staring at mine. I normally walk in quiet places, this was just a quick trip round the block and happened to be busier than normal.

So should I not bother with an I NEED SPACE lead/harness. I’m interested to hear how it comes across and what you’d think if you saw a dog in this/if you’d notice. I just mean it as a warning so people give us a bit of a wide berth so they aren’t startled if they get barked at by quite a big dog. I don’t expect people to go massively out of their way to avoid us (he’s on a short lead anyway) but I’m worried it comes across as passive aggressive or will invite attention which is the opposite of what I want. Dog people and dog haters (I know there’s a lot on here) what would you think?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Cherrysoup · 10/07/2021 22:23

My dog is similar and those yellow leads are pointless as is telling people who get arsey and tell you not to walk your dog in public. Mine wouldn’t approach other dogs but won’t tolerate ill-behaved dogs who run at him.

My best advice is to tell people he’s scared and walk away quickly. There’s a huge influx of new dogs since lockdown, the group at my local park have feral untrained dogs so I now avoid it.

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ArmchairAdventurer · 10/07/2021 22:11

Hello, firstly, i would think you were a wonderful person for helping a nervous dog. I would give you more space on the pavement if I could, and would definitely give you a wide berth if my dog was with me. I have a nervous-ish rescue lurcher too. When we got him a year ago, he was startled by many things, including people and dogs. I actually went to a religious centre before lockdown (figuring it would be easier to ask strangers to help there) and asked loads of people to throw him biscuits - he is much better with people after this. He is still pretty dog reactive though. I figure this is largely our fault because we tried to help him by ourselves for a long time (didnt work) before finally hiring a good dog trainer a few months ago. I walk him on the edges of our local park and he does bark and lunge if a dog runs towards him or is too close. Most people and dog owners are kind and understanding. One person looked at me with annoyance like i was a really irresponsible dog owner - hey, he didnt know my story or that the only way i can help my dog to calm down is to gradually expose him to other dogs. Anyway, I suggest you do whatever is best for you and your dog. We share the world with each other so we all need to learn to co-exist and take responsibility for our own dogs. We all need to take responsibility for our own dogs, and be understanding when honest mistakes happen. Anyway, the other thing i want to say is I wonder whether the fact that people look and act scared of your dog will affect his behaviour? I would ask the dog trainer.

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sweetmama11 · 28/06/2021 11:24

"The majority of dog owners have well behaved, friendly dogs".

Except that they aren't. Maybe it's different where you are, but the vast majority of dog owners in my area are an absolute nightmare. Like I said before, there seems to be no real training or socialisation going on anymore and since lockdown there are so many more dogs and puppies about yet people are more than happy to let their dogs run riot. I'm a dog owner myself and no, my dogs aren't perfect but they are trained and respond to me. Only this morning while I was out did I witness two dog owners nearly come to blows because one let their dog run off and jump all over someone's small child. They stood there laughing and made no attempt to get their dog back while it traumatised a child. This dog was a retriever, so not a small dog by any means, literally ran half way across the field to jump all over a tiny child while the owner did nothing. It's not an isolated event either.

I'm not suggesting that the OP is stupid, far from it, but my advice would be to be proactive and not to assume that people will see a yellow harness. Unfortunately, it seems to me that a lot of people have no control over their dogs.

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Tehmina23 · 27/06/2021 18:07

I think responsible people who take on challenging rescue dogs are amazing! Personally I find some dogs a little scary so it's not something I could do myself but it's good to know there are people out there who actually care about rescue dogs.

I prefer rescue cats... My last cat Millie was a very challenging semi feral rescue- she would've been pts if I hadn't adopted her as she was so aggressive. But she also had a very affectionate side towards me.

However I have several friends who have nervous rescue dogs, all the dogs had issues but in the end made lovely pets.

One of them was my neighbours Collie; I will never forget seeing my cat Millie on the fence puffing her long fur up aggressively looking down at the poor Collie who was desperately trying not to look at Millie while running round in tight circles.
Basically the Collie only ever ran in circles as she had been shut in a tiny yard every day before Rescue & was terrified of chasing cats and getting in trouble! It was so sad.

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wasthataburp · 27/06/2021 17:16

So there is a dog like this near me. When we are out with our dog we make sure we cross the road or keep away as my dog can jump on other dogs and bark etc. Basically he can be a right pest! The owner of this dog does have him muzzled though. I think he's a rescue ex racing dog

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Bryonyshcmyony · 27/06/2021 17:13

@sweetmama11

I'd highly recommend muzzling. It sends a very clear message to other dogs owners and people. Even with a harness/lead that is a bright colour, people will often not see it until it's too late. In my experience, you cannot rely on other people to respect your dog's boundaries, they just don't get it most of the time. I see this happen ALL the time where I walk my own dogs, it's so dangerous. People let their dogs run up to dogs on leads with no second thought. I don't think most people are even aware of basic dog etiquette. A muzzle is a very clear signal to others. Believe me, most people are stupid. Sorry but it's true. Especially now since every person on the planet has a new dog.

They aren't stupid. Just not obsessed with your dog and it's problems. The majority of dog owners have well behaved, friendly dogs. If your dog isn't, keep it muzzled and on a lead away from other people and dogs.
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Halliabaloo · 27/06/2021 14:28

Bright yellow harness would say assistance dog to me until I was close enough to read the lettering and by then it would be too late.

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sweetmama11 · 27/06/2021 14:19

I'd highly recommend muzzling. It sends a very clear message to other dogs owners and people. Even with a harness/lead that is a bright colour, people will often not see it until it's too late. In my experience, you cannot rely on other people to respect your dog's boundaries, they just don't get it most of the time. I see this happen ALL the time where I walk my own dogs, it's so dangerous. People let their dogs run up to dogs on leads with no second thought. I don't think most people are even aware of basic dog etiquette. A muzzle is a very clear signal to others. Believe me, most people are stupid. Sorry but it's true. Especially now since every person on the planet has a new dog.

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LolaSmiles · 27/06/2021 13:57

Great post GlassOnTheLawn.

Some parents don't teach their children how to interact with dogs, and don't teach their children to leave dogs alone. Sometimes children and other park users will have their attention on things other than the lead colours of dogs. Whether a child gets snapped at or not shouldn't come down to an adult saying "but my dog had a yellow harness on".

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GlassOnTheLawn · 27/06/2021 12:19

Of course kids shouldn’t grab dogs or startle them from behind. But they do. You can’t change that, some parents will always fail to educate their kids about animals.

You need to protect your dog by muzzling him until he’s leant not to snap when startled. Imagine a child ran up behind and tried to push past and your dog startled and bit the child! If in a public place your dog could end up being seized by police and put down. They won’t go into why the dog snapped or what the child did to get bitten (even if child tried to pet dog or got too close because they were wobbling on their scooter/bike). The police are likely to see it as a dangerous dog that bit a child in public and might do so again.

A muzzle protects your dog. I’ve lost count of the times kids have run up to hug/grab/stroke my big fluffy dog (who is fortunately very gentle with kids even when they startle him or take his toys). It astonishes me the parents allow it though, as he’s huge, looks a bit like a wolf and wears a red harness (to warn people he’s not dog-friendly!)

Kids often grab at him from behind or skate or scoot up to him or even bump into him! If he wasn’t so child-friendly he’d be muzzled. Luckily he was raised in a home with toddlers so I guess he’s used to children startling him and pulling at him. I even had one random kid try to ride on his back on the beach like he was a donkey! He didn’t growl but he did sit down abruptly that time and look puzzled.

My point is you cannot trust kids and their parents harness or not!

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motogogo · 26/06/2021 14:46

In busy places, saying "I need space" is bordering on being rude, people need to walk past you, in a quiet park it's fair enough but it's up to dog owners (I'm one) to choose the right environment to walk their dog for their breed and personality, not others to adapt to you.

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Jasmin82 · 26/06/2021 14:42

I considered something like that for Resident Collie. However, in the end I went with a muzzle. Please, if you do get a muzzle, do NOT get one of the soft muzzles. They can and do prevent dogs from being able to pant and cause more problems than they solve, especially in hot weather. Basket muzzles allow the dog to pant. I find people who would have previously allowed their children to run up and crowd Resident Collie now keep their distance and, as a result, Resident Collie is much happier and less reactive (especially once she realised she could still have treats while wearing her muzzle!) because people aren't getting close (the odd idiot aside).

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looptheloopinahulahoop · 26/06/2021 14:22

I do appreciate that you tend to walk your dog where possible in quiet areas though and he is on a short lead

Unfortunately where are the "quiet" areas are becoming increasingly less so. Dog walkers seem to be meeting up with their charges, so you have 3-4 walkers with 3-4 dogs meeting up. Not ideal at all and not quite in the spirit of the council restrictions on numbers of dogs a registered walker can walk. Not only is it a pain for non-dog-loving runners like me, it's a pain for people wanting to socialise their dogs gently.

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LolaSmiles · 26/06/2021 12:31

epponneee
I agree, if the child grabs then that's on the parents. I can't stand parents who allow their children to run up to/grab/shout at dogs.
However if a dog is startled enough to snap by a runner going past then it stands that it's liable to be startled and snap by anyone who might not see or notice the lead/harness.

Saying "but I had a yellow lead on" isn't an excuse if a dog snaps or bites someone.

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DontWiltMySpinachPlease · 26/06/2021 12:24

Our dog has a nervous harness and matching lead, but it doesn't stop the dick heads. I'm constantly amazed at how many people don't seem to understand the common courtesy that if you see a dog on a lead, put yours on a lead before you cross paths and before your dog approaches. What it does help with though, is that there's a bit more understanding if she barks as people walk past or snaps at a dog.

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Ulyssesfoot · 26/06/2021 12:19

I do appreciate that you tend to walk your dog where possible in quiet areas though and he is on a short lead. There are a few dogs like that here, they mostly get walked early or I see them when I'm out running late on.
Kids are attracted like magnets to my dog. Most ask can they pet him (he absolutely loves kids) but the odd one does come and poke at his tail, thankfully he just licks them but if you upset or scare any creature they might react . That is obviously a parent issue not a dog issue but the poor dog will come out the worst if they get upset.
Ddog generally knows which dogs to give space to . Or he hides behind me.

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Ulyssesfoot · 26/06/2021 12:08

I'm a dog fan and a dog owner. To be honest the yellow harnesses look like PAT harness or other therapy dog ones and you can't always tell until you get close.
I'd expect any snapper especially a large breed to be muzzled.

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VettiyaIruken · 26/06/2021 11:53

I'd keep my distance.
It would be stupid to ignore a sign warning you about a dog, that's just asking for trouble.

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epponneee · 26/06/2021 11:50

@GlassOnTheLawn if a child grabs him from behind, that is negligence on the part of the parent not the dog owner.

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GlassOnTheLawn · 26/06/2021 09:44

A dog that snaps at people when startled is dangerous. Sorry. You were lucky with the runner, you had him on a short lead and he couldn’t reach.

It may be a different story if a child grabs him from behind or scoots up alongside him out of nowhere (they shouldn’t but it happens, I’ve had kids grab and hug my massive dog without asking, luckily he doesn’t startle and likes people).

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SheldonesqueWontTolerateFools · 25/06/2021 20:38

@BelterDelta

If you think you have anything which would help me with my anxious charge, I would love a pm too.

Thank you in hope.

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BelterDelta · 25/06/2021 20:13

Having had a rescue dog and a puppy from new, I know you’ve done the right thing in going down the ‘Yellow Dog’ route. It’s just common sense & well done to you for showing initiative.

Unfortunately it does backfire because people do tend to gravitate towards it which is ironic.

Going to send you a PM regarding another item you may find handy.

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IDontReadEyebrows · 25/06/2021 20:05

I wouldn’t approach the dog or let my children approach it. I would treat it the same as if we saw a guide dog- the dog is busy, it has its own shit going on, it doesn’t have time for me. We don’t have a dog anymore but I wouldn’t allow it near yours if we did.

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redheadonascooter · 25/06/2021 19:53

Well I would respect it and I'm not a dog owner or person in the least. But surely it's obvious, just common sense. I would expect you to give us a wide berth rather then you expecting us to dash out of the way though.

But then I also do not allow my children to approach dogs without asking first, and even then I'm right on top of them - they're only 5 and 3 - and don't let them get in dogs faces etc if the owner says it's ok to give them a gentle stroke. Equally I don't expect off lead dogs to bound over to my kids and leap around to cries of 'he's friendly!'.

Just a bit of courtesy keeping safety in mind is all it takes on everyone's part!

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Goingplacestogether · 25/06/2021 18:02

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid as I’ve seen this alot - I’d give as much space as I could.

I love the idea of your dog going out in “his new outfit”. That made me smile

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