WIBU?

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

It's 7.15pm. 6yo, who is usually in bath/pyjamas at this time, announces she is hungry.

Parent A - I'll get you some grapes
Parent B - Grapes? It's bedtime! Sugar/Not right before brushing your teeth etc At the most maybe a glass of milk.
Parent A - Yes you're right, too much sugar... takes 6yo in to kitchen and DD gets some milk.

DD comes upstairs grinning that sly grin and Parent B says OK now? DD says Yes that glass of milk really helped.
Parent B - What else?
DD - Parent A also gave me a bit of that cake...

Is Parent A a massive undermining shit? Or AIBU?!

Shouldn't have been ridiculous and kicked off about the grapes

You are clearly parent b…

You are aware there is sugar in milk right?

Parent b probably undermined parent a in the first place. As an aside is having sugar right before you brush your teeth worse than any other time?

Should have let them have the grapes

Well if DC won't got to sleep tonight it's the cake-givers problem to deal with!

The onus should also be on Parent A to say "No" next time. Parent B can't be the bad guy all the time with Parent A handing out the treats, that's just not fair.

If your dc is hungry a few grapes aren't going to do much..

I would of gone with toast and milk. I think I heard fruit before teeth brushing is bad for your enamel, because of the acid? Not sure

Parent b is the undermining one.

Parent B needs to unclench!

Lactose is sugar

Parent b needs to relax and not call out parent a in front of the child like that. Parent a shouldnt have given cake, but I wonder if parent b actually has food issues and is too strict about food and parent a is fed up of it all

Grapes are low GIand would be fine to give a hungry child before bed. Parent B should have just relaxed a little.

Parent B undermined Parent A initially so hasn’t got a leg to stand on.

Is this more than about grapes or cake?

Wtf? Who kicks off about some grapes.

Or is this where we find out the child has a rare condition where they become hyperactive when having been near grapes?

The whole thing is ridiculous. Parent B needs to not start undermining A, if they don't like it doing to them.

Mixed responses so far but generally looks as though I'm definitely being unreasonable!

I don't have food issues, she has a pretty good diet albeit I give her sweets and stuff too much.

I didn't think of my comment as undermining DH, but perhaps I did. I'd rather next time he said 'Oh come on a few grapes isn't too bad, it's not like I'm giving her a piece of cake' har har

In any case DH just unprompted apologised and said it was a silly thing to do.

Fair doos. Drama over. Next time I'll try to chill a little (but I am quite surprised so many people would give food after bedtime - isn't this standard stalling behaviour?)

Thanks for responses

Parent B needs a far more relaxed attitude towards food!
Grapes would have been absolutely fine...
If a child's hungry at bedtime they won't settle.
The milk and cake both contain sugar.
Parent B should not have undermined parent A.
Somehow I think there's more to this situation.

I really don't think its mixed responses

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere

Mixed responses so far but generally looks as though I'm definitely being unreasonable!

I don't have food issues, she has a pretty good diet albeit I give her sweets and stuff too much.

I didn't think of my comment as undermining DH, but perhaps I did. I'd rather next time he said 'Oh come on a few grapes isn't too bad, it's not like I'm giving her a piece of cake' har har

In any case DH just unprompted apologised and said it was a silly thing to do.

Fair doos. Drama over. Next time I'll try to chill a little (but I am quite surprised so many people would give food after bedtime - isn't this standard stalling behaviour?)

Thanks for responses

OP this isn't how AIBU works you're meant to insist you're definitely right and everyone else is wrong, drip feed a lethal grape allergy then flounce off in a giant huff.

I don't think it's possible to say just in the basis of this info.
Is parent A always a soft touch our did they just disagree on this occasion/issue?
Are there already rules in place about bed time snacks?
Was today's routine disrupted from normal?

I wouldn't give food after bedtime but if dh said it was ok I wouldn't disagree. Although I'd be a smug bitch when 10 mins later they were still "hungry" or gone wild with their newfound power. I'd feel grapes/milk/cake from a teeth point of view are one in the same- you'd need a teeth brush after each one

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere

Mixed responses so far but generally looks as though I'm definitely being unreasonable!

I don't have food issues, she has a pretty good diet albeit I give her sweets and stuff too much.

I didn't think of my comment as undermining DH, but perhaps I did. I'd rather next time he said 'Oh come on a few grapes isn't too bad, it's not like I'm giving her a piece of cake' har har

In any case DH just unprompted apologised and said it was a silly thing to do.

Fair doos. Drama over. Next time I'll try to chill a little (but I am quite surprised so many people would give food after bedtime - isn't this standard stalling behaviour?)

Thanks for responses

It wasn't after bedtime though, was it? At least that's not what your initial post said.

You should've just said yes to the grapes and all this could've been avoided. Even if you said no , there was no need for the horrified "OMG, not the sugar!" lecture.

DD sometimes genuinely is a bit hungry/peckish around bedtime. I give her a banana or an actimel which take seconds and then she happily goes to sleep.

If the child's hungry, grapes are hardly going to fill them up anyway.

Why not toast or something?

DH can be a bit of a soft touch, I'm usually the stricter one.

@Anonymous48
Sorry, I meant that at that time of day she would usually be upstairs in bath or having already brushed teeth, no food at this time.
She wasn't in bed already, she was on the stairs coming up to get ready for bed.