Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think teachers should not fuss staff members children publicly

90 replies

Bluebellsinthesnow · 23/06/2021 14:39

I've got a teaching assistant on my Facebook because we go years back. She started in September at the local school my child attends and is definitely brilliant with the children. We had sports day Monday. She has most of the teachers on her Facebook now, So alot of local mums from the school can see her stuff and the teachers interacting with her. Ofcourse they are people outside of work and are allowed to have social media.

But what I thought was a shame was many of us were proud of our kids and that they got some stickers for coming in the top four places. My child got a second place. Many others got various ones for top places.
The ta shared her child came third and fourth. Again she's allowed to share and be proud. But Five teachers wrote comments on her status to tell her daughter how wonderful she is. What a star she was. Lots of kisses and hearts. One of them said she couldn't wait to hear her story about it today when she sees her.

Fair enough. But what about all the other kiddies who didn't get extra praise and now she has had that massive confidence boost and extra fuss all because her mum's working there. She will probably tell some of the other kids what the teachers told her mummy to say and the other kids will wonder why they were not praised.

I don't like it. I just think a part of being a proffesional is to treat everyone equally. I don't think extra messages with kisses is fair or appropriate.

Or am I just being petty. Can't stand to see children favoured because of who their mum is.

OP posts:

Totallyrandomname · 23/06/2021 17:45

Honestly it’s just over the top.

Teachers will occasionally have relationship with teachers beyond the teaching role. My nephews went to the school where their mom was a teacher and Nan a TA. Obviously they are going to treat them differently. This is their friend/colleagues child and they’re making some nice comments about the child on FB. It’s not a problem

grapewine · 23/06/2021 17:46

Just take her off your Facebook if it bothers you this much.

FrownedUpon · 23/06/2021 17:47

You’re being ridiculous. Have you honestly not got anything else to worry about?

spanieleyes · 23/06/2021 18:14

At my son's school ( where I also taught) every year, the end of year maths prize went to the child in year 6 who scored highest in the summer term exams. Except the year when my son scored full marks. For that year it went to the person who came second. The following year it went back to the one who scored the highest again. Teachers children don't always get treated as "special".
Still rankles 15 years later😁

toocold54 · 23/06/2021 18:27

YABU it’s her private account so of course she’s going to post pics of her child
These teachers are her friends so of course they’ll comment just like your friends would comment on your posts.

Mulhollandmagoo · 23/06/2021 18:29

My work colleagues will comment on pictures of my child if I share them, and this is no different. Definitely not something you should waste your headspace on

Babygotblueyes · 23/06/2021 18:33

I think it is a real problem to be on FB/SM and discoverable if you are in a professional job. And really unacceptable to be FB friends with people who you have met through your job, unless you keep your posts very very neutral. Cant comment on the actual situation, not sure it would bother me, but the being on FB thing is a real issue.

DarcyLewis · 23/06/2021 18:37

But what about all the other kiddies
You mean but what about all the other mums

The kids don't know that Mrs Jones congratulated Mrs Smith's daughter on Facebook.

Mrs Jones didn't post anything on your facebook because she isn't your friend - not because she doesn't like your kid.

PianoAndGuitar · 23/06/2021 19:03

But this is happening on Facebook, not the middle of the classroom.

Newkitchen123 · 23/06/2021 19:09

@DarcyLewis

But what about all the other kiddies You mean but what about all the other mums

The kids don't know that Mrs Jones congratulated Mrs Smith's daughter on Facebook.

Mrs Jones didn't post anything on your facebook because she isn't your friend - not because she doesn't like your kid.

This With bells on

GinPink · 23/06/2021 19:12

Maybe if the other kids saw it they would also congratulate the TAs child. Just because one child is praised it doesn't take anything away from the other children. You sound like hard work.

Somarefuser · 23/06/2021 19:19

Yes you are being petty, ridiculous and frankly very immature.

And there are so very many parents like you, more every year.
So many immature parents, living through their children. No resilience, no modelling how to deal with the world. Both sobbing because the child has been upset by something minuscule.
All the children would have been praised and fussed over IN SCHOOL.

But teachers are allowed to have friends, even friends with children in the school they teach in. They are allowed to have a social life outside school. My ploy of living 10+ miles away from my workplaces made absolute sense, but social media screws that safeguard.

LolaSmiles · 23/06/2021 19:21

This has nothing to do with other children and praise and everything to do with the fact you seem to be looking to create a drama over nothing.

Put another way:
Mum shares something about her child.
Mum's friends comment nice things.
Drama llama looks for ways to be offended because the idea of having friends within the workplace is apparently a difficult concept.

Fiftyand · 23/06/2021 19:23

I’m a TA and we’re not allowed to have any parents as friends on FB. This is to stop situations like this.

gurglebelly · 23/06/2021 20:53

Yeah, you are being really petty

Bazoo23 · 23/06/2021 21:05

My friend is a nurse and did my sons immunnisations. Is she being unfair to then comment on pictures of him on FB and not the other hundreds of babies she has immunised?
Sounds ridiculous doesnt it?

Kacha30 · 23/06/2021 21:07

Non issue! I would stop looking at your friends fb so much.

Howshouldibehave · 23/06/2021 21:16

Maybe the TA will read this, recognise you and defriend you from Facebook-that will solve all your problems.

Honestly, your post is absolutely dripping with jealousy-it’s really unpleasant.

Rosesareyellow · 23/06/2021 21:17

I’m a TA and we’re not allowed to have any parents as friends on FB. This is to stop situations like this.

What situation?
Also, as long as you’re obviously not privately messaging children from your school on SM, your workplace can’t police who you are friends with on Facebook, of course you’re ‘allowed’ do you delete friends if their children join your school??

ejhhhhh · 23/06/2021 21:22

Imo, as a teacher, it's easier if your professional life and social media life stay separate. Many schools strongly discourages their staff from being discoverable on social media. I don't have my full name on Facebook for example, and no identifiable profile pic. I have a professional Twitter account, but a different personal account, again unidentifiable. There's so much potential for issues, it's just safer to maintain a professional distance online. It doesn't mean you can't be friends with parents in real life, it's just best to keep it off the internet.

saraclara · 23/06/2021 21:24

We weren't allowed to be FB friends with parents when I was teaching. It wasn't a problem for me (or for most at my school I imagine) as I taught in a specialist school, and children were bussed in from all over the area. So there were very few staff who knew parents socially. But I can see how it must be tricky if you live in the catchment area and knew pupils' parents before you worked at the school. I would have been in that position 25 years ago, but fortunately no FB back then!

Summersun2020 · 23/06/2021 21:24

They’re fussing because it’s their friends/colleagues kid, not because they teach her. Get a grip.

FuckUcuntychops · 23/06/2021 21:29

Fuck just unfollow her and don’t give it another thought. I doubt she’s reading word for word to her child what the comments are! The child probably isn’t even aware she’s being praised. Honestly this is really petty and childish.

saraclara · 23/06/2021 21:32

@Rosesareyellow

I’m a TA and we’re not allowed to have any parents as friends on FB. This is to stop situations like this.

Schools have social media policies. And yes they can say that a teacher can't be FB friends with parents. My school did. You can apply for special dispensation in some circumstances (say you have a family member with children at the school), but otherwise, if you don't like it, then you need to work elsewhere.

LolaSmiles · 23/06/2021 21:54

saraclara
I agree.
I've tended to find that schools where it's common for staff to send their children there, it's common for staff to have connections to parents via their own hobbies or own children tend to allow a lot more discretion and common sense.
I've had parents on social media who I've known in one capacity and then I've got a job at their child's school. Most understand that my social media is quite limited and dull, but most importantly they understand that Lola is not the same as Mrs Smiles.

It's a shame staff have to be on the lookout for people like the OP.

Flip

1 2 3 4