Should I speak with the teachers about this ?

[Zee23]

Hi everyone so was just looking for some answers about what other people thought about this before I think about doing something about it.

There is a little boy in my daughters class, his dad usually brings him and picks him up from school,I see them most days as we usually arrive at the same time and at the kids school we have to queue up outside the gate when dropping off/picking up.

For the past few weeks I’ve noticed this child’s father, who has a small daughter who he usually brings with him, I’d say she was around 2, definitely no more than 3 years old. His son is 5 the same as my daughter they are both in reception,so still very young children. I’ve noticed for a few weeks now he literally leaves the kids alone in the queue in the morning when he wants to move his car or if he seems to forget something from his car, he just leaves them both their ( remember they are 5 and about 2) and crosses the street. Last Friday I was walking to collect my daughter up from school and I walked past this parents car and saw his young daughter asleep in the car in her car seat all alone,whilst he was waiting on the other side of the road in the queue to pick up his son, he was stood on the queue for about 5 mins and it takes around 5 mins to get around the school and out again due to the one way system, i thought it was irresponsible because even though it was a short amount of time anything could have happened to her, she could have woke up crying or god knows what.

So anyway this morning I go to drop my kids off at school as usual,see him waiting in the queue with his son ( no daughter ) queued behind him and literally seen him go across the street to his car, take out his young daughter from the back seat and put her in the front passenger seat of the car and rolled down the window for her,locked her in and went back to the queue with his son, I was right behind them in the queue and when I was leaving school he was just getting into his car,there was no other adult in the car so again he literally left his young child alone in the car to drop of his son,this time full my awake, in the front seat with the window down,she could have been taken,considering he put her in the front what if she would have touched something or touched the clutch. After seeing this again I have been thinking about bringing this up to my daughters teacher as I’m concerned anything could happen and god knows how many times he has been leaving his child in the car alone as I’ve already seen him do it twice.

Wdyt? Should I tell the teacher

Forgot to mention, I do think I should inform someone but don’t know if the teacher is the right person to inform?

I'm guessing as he went back, that it's close enough that he was able to hear/know the daughter woke up?

What are you expecting from the class teacher? If you were concerned about the primary aged child then the teacher would be the right port of call, yes. But the 2 year old isn't under their care.

Can he see her from the queue? Just thinking about dropping GS off and if I managed to park opposite school I could be a few feet away from the car and able to watch. If he can't see her it is dangerous.

Was she directly across the street? She's hardly likely to be abducted in front of an entire school full of parents?!

It sounds like he can see the car from where he is.

If so, its not an issue at all.

What are you expecting the outcome to be if you 'report' this.
That the dad says - sorry I'll never do it again?

I don't think that will happen. Sadly I have to say that he's not the first or last person you'll come across who does this.
I'm sure he's aware of the risks and and acts accordingly.

I personally don't think it's any of your business.
I used to leave my daughter in the car park to get my son from nursery. Slightly different circumstances in that it's next to the building and the front door faces the car. But nonetheless I got tuts from other parents. And if any of them had mentioned it to nursery I would have told them to mind their own business.

I hope this thread gives you some perspective and possibly closure.

You can definitely pass on this information. You could either mention it to class teacher or ring school and ask to speak to the designated safeguarding lead. You won’t be updated on what happens next, but you won’t get into trouble for passing on information.

But the 2 year old isn't under their care.
The 2 year old isn’t in the teacher’s class, but as teachers we can’t just ignore safeguarding issues. For example; if the child said to their teacher ‘Miss, my Dad always leaves my baby sister on her own in the car’ we would still need to follow it up.

Just leave it. It wouldn't concern social services they have much more to worry about unfortunately

@notanaturalmum

What are you expecting the outcome to be if you 'report' this. That the dad says - sorry I'll never do it again?

I don't think that will happen. Sadly I have to say that he's not the first or last person you'll come across who does this.
I'm sure he's aware of the risks and and acts accordingly.

I personally don't think it's any of your business.
I used to leave my daughter in the car park to get my son from nursery. Slightly different circumstances in that it's next to the building and the front door faces the car. But nonetheless I got tuts from other parents. And if any of them had mentioned it to nursery I would have told them to mind their own business.

I hope this thread gives you some perspective and possibly closure.

When he’s leaving her awake in the front seat of his car ? Knowing she could touch anything, what if she touched the clutch and the car went rolling back ? Yes he can see her for 5 minutes that he is in the queue, but what about when he enters the school play ground for an entire 5 minutes, having to walk the entire way around school due to the one way system, that’s a whole 5 minutes his daughter is alone in the car where he can not see her. Maybe yes she wouldn’t be taken outside a full a school, but leaving a young child in a car alone for a period of time that you know your not going to see her, what if like I said she touches the clutch and the car goes rolling back , into lots of other young children and parents who are crossing the road? It’s putting other people at risk as well as his own daughter and I think and feel it’s wrong.

Where are you getting your car knowledge from? Touching the clutch doesn't make a car roll.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

It sounds like he can see the car from where he is.

If so, its not an issue at all.

Maybe you didn’t read my post properly or I didn’t make sense, he can see his car when he is queuing outside the school gates yes, but that is outside the school gates. When he enters the school gates and has to make an entire walk around the school, he can not see his car, nor his daughter for an entire 4 or 5 minutes, as in the school the kids are at, we queue up outside the gate, we get let in, one way system, from that gate we have to walk the entire way around school and exit from the back side gate which alone, is a few minutes walk away from his car, he can not see her for Atleast 5 minutes.

@cocoloco987

Where are you getting your car knowledge from? Touching the clutch doesn't make a car roll.

I meant if she pulled the hand brake down, not the clutch

If it's going to play on your mind mention it to the teacher and ask if they think you should say something?

If you're concerned, report it to the safeguarding lead at the school. It's a basic principle of safeguarding - if you're wondering whether to report it or not, then report and let the experts decide whether it needs addressing.

The school will know the child in their care and know more about their family situation than you do, so they will know the best way to deal with this information.

What do you think will happen if she touches the clutch? .
I'm guessing he can see her while he's in the queue, so don't really see the problem.

Maybe you didn’t read my post properly or I didn’t make sense, he can see his car when he is queuing outside the school gates yes, but that is outside the school gates. When he enters the school gates and has to make an entire walk around the school, he can not see his car, nor his daughter for an entire 4 or 5 minutes, as in the school the kids are at, we queue up outside the gate, we get let in, one way system, from that gate we have to walk the entire way around school and exit from the back side gate which alone, is a few minutes walk away from his car, he can not see her for Atleast 5 minutes.

No you didn't make that clear at all.

Social services are unlikely to be contacted. This on its own wouldn’t raise a big concern. Maybe a quiet word with the parent, but nothing more.

However, in schools we build a picture over time. For example; if the child had previously said ‘my dad always leaves me at home with my sister, whilst he goes to the supermarket’ it begins to show a consistent lack of supervision.

If it’s a one off, no one is affected. If it’s children who are left consistently in unsafe situations, it was worth voicing your concern, obviously with discretion and without gossiping to other parents.

You don’t get to find out what happens either way, but nothing bad will come of mentioning a concern.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

What do you think will happen if she touches the clutch? . I'm guessing he can see her while he's in the queue, so don't really see the problem.

I’ve answered before l, he can see her in the queue yes but not when he enters the school, as it’s a one way system, you go in one gate and exit from another gate, you have to walk around the entire school and that’s Atleast 5 minutes of not being able to see his child or the car. It’s a hill road, if she touches the handbrake it could go rolling back into other parents and children ( considering he leaves her in the front of the car ) I meant to say the hand break clearly not the clutch

If you are there at the same time could you offer to collect his son and bring him out to him? It wouldn't be much effort as you are collecting your own child? Offering so he doesn't need to leave little girl unattended might give him the hint that it isn't a good idea?

Yes I’d report to school OP.

I think a typical 2 year old would struggle to release a handbrake.

But I do agree that he shouldn’t be leaving the 2 yr old unsupervised in the car, you’ve said that he can’t see the car for the whole time he’s collecting the older child.

And yes, I’d probably mention something to the school.

Another child who went to nursery with one of mine fell asleep in the car when mum had got the weeks shopping. Mum was unloading the car and left child asleep, she was in and out of the house so no issue. Well there was an issue, two teenagers pinched the car, got a shock when little one woke up and panicked and stopped the car and ran. Little girl left crying in car with doors open in the middle of a busy road. It all ended well but was very frightening.

I meant to say the hand break clearly not the clutch

Well it wasn't clear as you repeated the same thing 3 times throughout the post. Some cars have automatic hand breaks. He might leave the car in gear - it's very unlikely the child will operate the gear box, the clutch and the hand break in order to cause the car to roll is that's not the case. Getting a tight handbreak off alone is outside the capabilities of most 2 year olds though.

You clearly need to tell someone, so do so!