To think my childs needs should be met

[Boatingforthestars]

So my one year old son has been with a child minder a few days a week for the last few months now and I'm unsure if I am being unreasonable.

He usually has a bottle of milk and a 1-2hr nap in his cot mid morning before lunch, the child minder is fully aware of his routine, yet its getting more and more regular that hes not having his nap or any milk, sometimes neither.
Now I fully understand that it's probably difficult to prioritise a baby when you have other children to occupy too, but surely the fact we are paying customers means his basic needs should be met?

I'm not sure if I'm being a precious parent or not, but it seems wrong that we pay for him to be looked after yet when he comes home he's a little terror as he's missed his nap or had his routine messed with?

Is this normal or should I start looking for alternative arrangements?

Yabu - of course she cant cater for all children's needs so something has to give, it's normal.

Yanbu - you are not receiving the service you are paying for and should consider finding a new childminder.

You can't really say not sticking to an exact routine isn't meeting the child's needs. If they were desperate for milk (unlikely at 1) or exhausted and needing to sleep it would be in the CM's best interest as she'd be dealing with a distraught baby. I'm guessing she's not?! I think you need a nanny if you want strict routines adhered to especially with a child over 1

You lay him down and give him the bottle, try giving him a bottle in an environment where there's stuff going on and it gets thrown and the screaming commences, he's beyond stubborn too he just doesn't give in either it's his way or you listen to screaming all day long.

Your CM can't leave her other dc to try and settle yours in another room. If someone came on asking if it was ok that their cm was leaving their toddler unsupervised to try to settle a stubborn and difficult child then I'd be saying the CM was being unreasonable. However he's obviously not so difficult for her or she'd be fat keener to get him to sleep for 2 hours I'm sure

How do multiple staff enable one to one care? If there are three staff in the baby room, it’s a rare nursery that would not be offering nine baby places. The ratios for under twos are one adult for every three babies and nurseries need to work as close to this as possible to balance the budget. Budgets in early years are massively stretched, any slack in the system is generally saved for September when numbers generally drop because of the older ones going up to school and the new ones not having started yet, not because it’s better for children to have one to one all year round!

Ours were always staffed slightly higher than ratios, especially for babies and toddlers, and they used the nursery manager and deputy managers as floating staff when a particular child needed closer attention from their key person, particularly when settling.

But we are in an area where there are never spare places and they don't have a drop in numbers when school leavers go - summer settlings and room moves are a very well oiled machine having watched it over the course of more than 8 years!

Ours is about mid range in cost for nurseries in our area, but high compared to the country as a whole as we're outer London.

My one year old (actually 19 months if that makes a difference) has been at nursery since she was ten months. Similar thing with the bottle, she just refused to take it because she was distracted or whatever, so we just told them to stop bothering. If she wanted (or needed) the milk I figured she would drink it.

At home she has a morning nap like your baby, I know it's maybe more usual for a child this age to nap in the afternoon (I have two older children who both did) but what can I say, she likes to nap in the morning!

This doesn't fit in with the nursery routine where the babies sleep after lunch but we just decided that we would see if she could fit into their routine. Sometimes she does sleep after lunch, other times she just falls asleep in the corner in the morning, sometimes she gets overtired and cranky by the afternoon. It's just the way it is. Yes we are paying customers, but so are the parents of the other children there and staff can't dedicate loads of one on one time trying to get my daughter to nap or take a bottle if she doesn't want to.

I think you might need to try and be more flexible. I know it's easy to get fixated on a routine but you can't really control the environment in any childcare setting.

It really is difficult to try to juggle multiple children and different routines and I understand that but feel like times not being made for the fact he's a baby still and does require a proper nap.

To the PP that suggested we are trying to hold onto the baby stage, It may seem like that, but it couldn't be any further from the truth.
I'm Dad (if that makes a difference) and can't wait to get out of the baby stage and onto toddler things and even getting past naps would be brilliant.
The routine isn't for us at all, it's more to keep the little guy manageable. Our other child fitted in as and when and would just nap whenever, it was bliss! If he misses a nap or it's cut short he's really hard work and will fight sleep whilst creating all afternoon.

Thanks to everyone that pointed out that it is normal, it'd really hard to gauge what's normal.

Our other child is nursery but they don't take until 2 as it's a preschool type setting, they only have a year left so don't want to pull them out as they love it. The plan was always to use a CM till he was 2 then he would also go to a nursery. Think we are going to have to just hold out a year.

The CM doesn’t work for you so find a new one or a nanny perhaps, it’s as simple as that really.