This is pissing me off. AIBU?

[LapinR0se]

DH and I are part of a wine tasting club. 4 times a year there are nice events (fancy, black tie etc) where we have a meal and matching wines and it's all very nice.
The events are looooong, like 5 or 6 hours and we spend hours talking to the other people about the wine blah blah small talk etc.

Thing is, no one ever remembers me? Like they introduce themselves to me every time. I'm at the point now where I'm like..."yes I'm lapin, we met 5 times before, you live in Spain and you have 3 kids right???"

Why am I so unmemorable? It drives me mad. AIBU or am I being ridiculous???

Sorry what was the question again?

Because they're drunk at the time?

I am fully not memorable. This happens so often to me. I consider it like the cloak of invisibility from Harry Potter and consider it my superpower. Use it to wind up the people who've forgotten you. Pretend you're a psychic

The pps made me laugh .
But seriously, I find a lot of people and not very interested in others and only have a focus on themselves. Or maybe they live extremely busy lives and have shit memories? Who knows?
I think you should casually drop some absolute belters into the conversation, something really fantastical.
Or also get totally pissed, dance on the table and flash your boobs if you want to stick in people's heads? 🤷‍♀️

Make a scene next time someone doesn't remember you. Won't happen again.

Because they are all pissed up.

I think it's the alcohol!

They're drunk.

I remember nobody. I can have a full conversation with them but not recognise them again the next time.

I'm a bit face blind though.

Sorry no advice to give, but it happens to me all the time. I think I just have a very plain, forgettable face, and I’m quite shy, so there’s no real reason to remember me. I’m also useless at this myself, and have greeted a distant family member of my DH at a party before, very enthusiastically saying “hi, so nice to meet you!’, only to be told with a face like thunder “actually we’ve met before”. I apologised, but felt bad the rest of the night.
Clearly people don’t mean to be rude, and it is annoying, but I’d try and make light of it, otherwise you’re just making them feel bad.

YNBU to find this annoying when you see them once a quarter. It sounds like you have a good memory and take interest in meeting new people. Not everyone does unfortunately. Maybe some of them are a bit self involved or have bad memories. Probably a combination of a few things. But sounds like it’s more to do with them than you.

Some people have face blindness and can't recognise people they've met. Or a very poor memory. I'm a combination of the two.

I'll be looking at you thinking “do I actually know you or do I see you on the bus each morning?”

Its not easy!

not

I am pleased to see that this happens to other people. I’d hate to be the only invisible one out there

I work in a small team in a wider organisation. I regularly meet people who I don't recognise but have apparently met several times before.

My brain doesn't hold that information.

Thing is they all know exactly who DH is!!!!

I went to my local church regularly for over a year when I moved to a new area. Brought my grandmother to one of the services. When I asked to get my first child christened the priest refused as I had never been there before

They always remember the men. Always.

Sounds like they're just rude and self interested tbh, I'm guessing they are different to your dh because they either fancy him or see him as the once the social power / cachet. I'd get your dh to start standing up for you and being pointed about it, hopefully they'll be embarrassed enough to make an effort in future.

I'd also maybe start touting yourself as psychic and slipping in a few pointed truths to your readings...But its terribly passive aggressive so use with care

This happens to me too. Someone I meet once or twice a year through work has exactly the same name as me (first name and last name) which isn’t that common a thing to happen - every single time she is COMPLETELY AMAZED by this. If people didn’t regularly forget me I’d think it was a problem with her memory. Also years ago I went to a school reunion and a girl who wadi my class for several years didn’t remember me at all - she kept looking at me, shaking her head, and saying “nooooo… nope… nope… noooooo… don’t remember you at all… noooo” etc etc

I have horrendus trouble remembering people, my dh has to remind me years when we move who each neighbour is (i recognise all the cats and dogs, remember their names and which houses they are from though)

I am mortified if i realise i am talking to someone i should know and dont recognise, it really bothers me

I will say distinctive features help, like I could recognise and therefore correctly name the redhead in a group i went to and the one with the curly hair because they were distinctive so it was easier for my brain to hang on to. So if your dh has a beard, or distinctive hair or is much taller etc that might be why he is remembered and you arent

I do this, I think it’s because I’m a female in a very male dominated work environment, everyone remembers me, I often forget people completely.

Sounds like a swingers club to me 😅
Joking aside... they're probably just pissed

Give yourself a different name and backstory every time. Make them more and more outrageous.

This kind of thing infuriates me. Also, in most cases, I absolutely don't believe it. It's just rude. I've forgotten meeting someone now and again.... when it' pointed out I am MORTIFIED.

DH had a friend who used to pretend to have never met me every time we met. And he'd greet me super enthusiastically every time, "Oh Triffid, it's so nice to meet you!" It got to the point where DH and I found the whole thing hilarious but unsurprisingly, the friendship didn't last.

I am not memorable either. Sometimes it if fun.